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Perez Hilton: Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Lose one million twitter followersts-perez-hilton1

The Queen of Media weighed in on Michael Jackson’s heart attack before the general public knew he had died.

“Supposedly, the singer went into cardiac arrest. We are dubious!!

Jacko pulled a similar stunt when he was getting ready for his big HBO special in ’95 when he ‘collapsed’ at rehearsal!

Get your money back, Ticket Holders!!!”

You can read the entire post here.

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July 1, 2009 Posted by | Criminally Stupid, Doosh Watch 2009 | , , , , | 4 Comments

Do You Get it Now, Perez?

Even Matthew Shepard’s Family Dislike Perez Hilton

Perez Hilton stated on his blog that any proceeds he received from his suit against Black Eyed Peas’ road manager Polo Molina would be donated to the Matthew Shepard Foundation.  However,  the Matthew Shepard Foundation heard this and have publicly denounced Hilton and stated they don’t want his money.  It may be time for Hilton to examine his own role in these events, given this comes on the heels of GLAAD publicly shunning him.  Here’s the Matthew Shepard Foundation’s entire statement.  It’s long, but I’m not inserting a break for a jump because I think it deserves the page space. (Thanks to SeaKat for the tip.):


The Matthew Shepard Foundation was surprised to learn this morning via media reports that blogger Perez Hilton (Mario Lavandeira) has announced he plans to donate, to our organization, the proceeds of a lawsuit he is contesting over an altercation which has been widely reported in recent days.

We had no advance notice or contact from Mr. Hilton or his representatives regarding this proposal, nor any communication since he posted this plan to his website.

We do not know the details of the lawsuit, whether it has been filed, the nature of his claims or the likely outcome. But because the lawsuit presumably involves the physical attack prompted by Mr. Hilton’s admitted use of an anti-gay slur, the Foundation will be unable to accept any funds obtained in such a manner.

We very much appreciate the generosity of the offer to support our continuing work to memorialize Matthew through activism in defense of sexual minorities and in favor of understanding, compassion, and acceptance. But because so much of our work involves education to reduce the use of hateful language against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons, or those so perceived, it would be inappropriate for us to benefit financially from circumstances in which such a verbal attack was involved.

While we applaud Mr. Hilton’s apology to the LGBT community and their loved ones for his use of such a slur, we also feel compelled to point out that use of epithets can often lead to physical violence, as it appears it may have in this case, and that the Matthew Shepard Foundation has worked for more than 10 years to bring to people’s attention the consequences of hateful or intolerant language.

Judy Shepard
Chair, MSF Governing Board

I think this might officially answer stopthemadness’ question. Kudos to Judy Shepard for setting Perez straight so eloquently.

June 26, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Doosh Watch 2009 | , , , | Leave a comment

DOOSH WATCH 2009: Perez Hilton

Canada Perez Hilton PunchedIs “Faggot” the New “Nigga”?

As most of y’all know by now, Perez got cold-cocked by Black Eyed Peas manager, Polo.  Seems as if Perez was running his mouth and talking shit about the Black Eyed Peas on his blog, so there was a big confrontation between Perez and the Peas on Sunday, during which Perez, once again, rotted out what amounts to a “So’s your mom!” counterattack:  “You’re not a fucking artist … you’re a fucking faggot.”

Perez was then all “To the YouTubes!” and posted some sanctimonious cry baby bullshit about how he was assaulted (I can’t be bothered to even post the 13 minute rant; the fine folks at HuffPo comedy have distilled it to a two minute hilarious video which you can view here.)

It’s quite an amazing thing, really–watching this idiot cry and blubber about “how violence is never the answer” after he done called Fergie an “ugly bitch” and called Will.I.Am a “fucking faggot.”  You can’t talk shit and then cry foul when you meet the business end of somebody’s fist.  As the rules clearly state, if you talk shit, YOU MIGHT GET KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT.

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June 25, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Culture Critic, Doosh Watch 2009 | , , , , , , , , , | 35 Comments

Perez Hilton Got His Ass Kicked

puppiesAnd The Crowd Goes Wild!!!!!pup1

I love it when smug people get punched for acting like fools. I always knew that some day somebody awesome was going to punch Perez in the eye for being the biggest bag of douche ever, but I could have never predicted it would be by somebody in the Black Eyed Peas. It seems that the band’s manager, Polo punched Perez a few times after Perez called Will.I.Am a “fucking faggot.”

Let’s pause for a moment here. Doesn’t Perez always preach about gay rights? I’m pretty sure one of his favorite things to preach about is how it’s wrong to discriminate against gay people. Why would you go and call someone a “fucking faggot” if you’re against the use of derogatory terms geared at gay people? He could have very easily used another insult.

Anyway, Will.I.Am and Perez are now having an internet video war about it and Polo was brought in for questioning. I say somebody should give Polo a prize, but that’s just because I despise the hypocritical egomaniac that is Perez Hilton.

I didn’t want to make Squeers!  look at Perez every time they stop by, so I’m using a picture of puppies instead.


June 23, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans | , , , , | 5 Comments

Who Would You Rather?

Hilton Showdown Edition

They’re both talentless fame-whores with a boundless love of the color pink, tacky clothing and stupid hair-dos, and they both rose to fame on a tide of semen (Perez’s just happened to be badly drawn).  So the question today is:


Paris Hilton or Perez Hilton

Paris Hilton or Perez Hilton

[poll id=”37″]

Thanks for the suggestion, stm.

May 21, 2009 Posted by | Who Would You Rather? | , , | 19 Comments

Miss California Cashes in on the Controversy

Carrie Prejean joins the fight against gay marriagets-miss-california1

Miss California, Carrie Prejean, stopped by The Today Show to talk to Matt Lauer and announce she’ll be joining the National Organization for Marriage and their “Gathering Storm” in Washington to campaign against gay marriage.

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May 1, 2009 Posted by | Culture Critic, Doosh Watch 2009 | , , , , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Perez Hilton is a Douchebag

Shocking, right?

ts-miss-californiaFor some unknown reason Perez Hilton was asked to be a judge at the Miss USA Pageant. I guess he has a lot of time on his hands since he has a team of ghostwriters that write his blog these days.

The self-proclaimed “Queen of all media” got to ask a question of Miss California, Carrie Prejean. The question he asked was:

“Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?”

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April 23, 2009 Posted by | Culture Critic, Doosh Watch 2009 | , , , , , , , , , , , | 39 Comments

Katy Perry Makes Me Want to Punch Things

mtv ema arrivals 071108Your music sucks almost as much as your friends

Am I the only one who is sick of this girl? Her music is sub-par and way over played. In every picture I see of her, she’s wearing something “edgy” or “retro” and she has this smug look of self satisfaction that makes me want to pee in her eyes. If that’s not bad enough she’s friends with the dumb orb known as Perez Hilton. I’m sorry, you have to have an IQ below 30 to hang out with someone who still thinks it’s funny to draw cum dots on people. Did I mention her music sucks? If I hear the “hot and cold” song one more time, I might jam pencils in my ears.

April 12, 2009 Posted by | I Hate Things | , , | 13 Comments

A well-timed rant

Fact-checking vs. Rumormongering

Let’s begin with the facts.  We know that yesterday, March 16, actress Natasha Richardson was skiing near Montreal.  We know she took a fall.  We know she was later hospitalized.

But now media outlets and bloggers are warring over her condition – is she dead? Brain dead? Does she have swelling of the brain? Or maybe it’s just severe altitude sickness?

And this is ridiculous – not to mention incredibly disrespectful to her family: husband Liam Neeson, mother Vanessa Redgrave and two sons.

Welcome to the world of modern media.

Ain’t it a bitch.

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March 17, 2009 Posted by | Culture Critic, What the Crap!? | , , , , , | 14 Comments

Weak. Just Weak.

A co-worker tipped me off to this: Perez Hilton is going to be part of the new Britney Spears Circus tour, and he set up a hotline to provide details about his involvement. The really weak part is that people actually call his stupid ass hotline to get details.  What a doosh.  I need a stronger drink.

February 14, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Doosh Watch 2009 | , , , , , | 5 Comments