uncollectedminds

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Leave Footloose Alone!!!

Chasing Bacon

footlooseEver since I heard they were remaking this movie full of greatness, I’ve been sad, but then I forgot all about it and thought Hollywood had, too. But, it seems my celebrations were too early. Chace Crawford, who’s too pretty for words, shall be the new Kevin Bacon. Originally Zac Ephron was cast but dropped out and they just substituted Zac Ephron part deaux in the role. I had trouble telling them apart. Next up they can do the male version of The Patty Duke Show. I’ll let them dance fight over who gets to be on top.

Chace Crawford, you hear me now. You are no Kevin Bacon, SIR! Do you think that you can dance angry in a warehouse drinking beer and mentally envisioning a montage like Mr. Bacon? You think you can do knee slides, spins, and high kicks with his tenacity? I highly doubt it, small fry. He was the male Jennifer Beals of his time. No other guy from the 80’s can say that.

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May 25, 2009 Posted by | Daily Whims, Movie Marquis | , , , , | 5 Comments

Daily Bale

Kevin Bacon-bale

Because bacon is doubly delicious:

ts-kevin-bacon

May 2, 2009 Posted by | Daily Bale | , , | 12 Comments

An Open Letter to the Pig Nation

3pigsHello Pigs,

My name is KeeblerKahn and I am your worst fears made of flesh. I am the thing that goes bump in the night. When the little piglets tell ghost stories late at night to frighten each other, I am the bogeyman they speak of. Put simply, I’ve never encountered a piece of your succulent flesh that I wasn’t ready to fry up in a pan, slow roast in my oven or barbecue over an open flame.

I tell you this not to frighten you, but to illustrate a point. In my eyes you are the king of the edible animals. From you come some of the greatest cuts of meat mankind has ever had the pleasure of devouring. I can understand how this is distressing to you; being made out of pork must be a great burden. I think if you ever got the chance to eat a piece of crispy bacon, you would understand why so many of your kind have crossed my plate.

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May 1, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Doosh Watch 2009 | , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Video Thunderdome!

Kevin Bacon vs. Shrek

ThunderdomeThis week’s Thunderdome offers the who-used-it-better edition. In the 1984 film Footloose, we were treated to Kevin Bacon playing chicken on farm equipment in a scene set to the Bonnie Tyler song “Holding out for a Hero.” Continue reading

April 24, 2009 Posted by | Video Thunderdome! | , , , , , , | 4 Comments