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Canada, It’s Time to Start Thinking on Your Feet

Really–it’s aboot time

for-next-severed-foot-postOkay, SERIOUSLY, what is going on with you, Canada? Why do you have a big “Who do these missing feet belong to?” mystery happening up there? Are there really so many people hopping around on one foot that you can’t sort out the ones who’ve misplaced their OTHER foot? And why aren’t those people coming forward and CLAIMING their misplaced feet? Are they too shy or embarrassed, like, “Oh, well, that foot’s probably the one I recently lost, but, well, our Mounties have more important things to worry aboot besides MY stupid missing right foot. It’ll probably come home soon, anyway. I put a bowl of food and a clean sock on the porch.”

I know y’all are polite, but COME ON. There are now FIVE right feet and one left foot that have just turned up–no note or nothing–along your shores, Canada. LOOK ALIVE, MOUNTIES! Get off your damned high horses and GET ON YOUR FEET! You’ve got a job to do, and that job is to FIND OUT WHO THESE MISSING FEET BELONG TO.

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August 6, 2009 Posted by | Criminally Stupid, Culture Critic, News You May or May Not Use | , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Another Word from Mae

Canada is not awesome Edition

canada-flag1After posting my reasons as to why the French are jerks, one of our favorite commenters was a bit upset because I said the Canadian military is as intimidating as the French military, and she gave us a list of 15 reasons why Canada is awesome. I’m here once again to discredit that notion, while adding a few reasons why Canada is better than France and has a few awesome things.

Note: This is in no way an attack on rumoUr or Canada; it’s merely a subjective list. Everyone is entitled to her opinion, but if it’s different than mine, it’s wrong! Thanks!

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July 21, 2009 Posted by | A Word from Mae, Culture Critic, Wistful Lists | , , | 38 Comments