uncollectedminds

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ALL BABIES TO THE BURGER KING PARKING LOT!

It’s time to rumble…

492770538_cb7c7d4f9eSome megalomaniacal manager of a Missouri Burger King decided it was time for infants to respect his authoritah.

When a mother with a barefoot 6-month-old showed up on his watch, he promptly told her to remove her germ spreading crumb snatcher or he was calling the cops. That baby should have stuck her fungus ridden little foot right in his mouth breathing pie hole.

Apparently he was following the “No shirt, no shoes, no service” policy to the letter. It’s nice enough for a public service policy, right? I only see one tiny loophole. It doesn’t say anything about “no diaper.” HA!

I think all the local babies should unite, put on just a t-shirt and some shoes, and show up there demanding service. I believe we could even go global with this protest. We could call it, “Bare Your Bottoms For Babies’ Rights.”

Maybe Burger King will have to change its policy to “No shirt, no shoes, no diaper, no service.” Unless people beyond toddler stage are willing to don a diaper in support of baby solidarity, it would limit their patrons to babies, seniors and Michelle Duggar.

I really don’t see a down side to this plan.

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August 6, 2009 Posted by | Doosh Watch 2009, News You May or May Not Use | , , , , | 5 Comments

RIP, Nano-Boo

Noooo…..

22515211703ea232108mts9Everyone knows Steve Jobs owns me–and my soul. Well, the other day not only did I die a little inside, I also lost a little piece of my soul. My Nano died. (Not to be confused with Nana. She was old and we saw it coming.) I turned on my iPod, and there was that horrible picture: the iPod with crossed out eyes. I had read rumoUrs of this on Apple websites. I never believed it would actually happen to me!

I was so traumatized I had to call one of those hotlines. We hashed it out. Yes, she was 3 years old and her insides were starting to rust from all the sweating I do while running, but she seemed so young.

This has caused me such mental distress, I think I should sue for the price of a new Nano. Steve Jobs did not keep his promises! I don’t remember exactly what they were right now, but I’m sure they were something along the lines of “may your Nano live forever.”

I also believe there is some sort of conspiracy theory going on here. My iPod died the same week the new iPhones came out!!! What are the chances???!!! So, not only did I HAVE to buy a new iPod, I also HAD to buy a new phone. There is definitely shenanigans AND hijinks afoot here. I’m going to have to meet somebody in the Applebee’s parking lot about this.

And now that I’ve had time to think this through, I might just sue my owner for the price of the phone. That will show him who’s owned!

August 5, 2009 Posted by | Daily Whims, Keepin' it in the Ballyhood | , , , | 15 Comments

There Goes The Ballyhood!

Don’t go back to Rockville

rockville_md_chick_magnetRumoUr has it that Kate Gosselin has taken a second residence in Rockville, Md. It is supposed to be her “getaway” for when Jon moves all his bongs and Ed Hardy gear to the Pennsylvania abode to let the nannies do his custodial duties.

Why would anyone want to “getaway” to Rockville? No Walmarts? Congested traffic? Bodyguards? She must not be an REM fan?

She chose her new digs wisely, though. Arby’s is right around the corner, White Flint Mall is conveniently located down the street and there’s a Metro stop right across Hungerford Drive. (There’s even an underground crossing so you don’t have to risk your life every time you attempt to cross the street.) What else does a reality television star need?

However, I do foresee one problem for her. I made a few calls to local hair establishments. If she has a hair emergency regarding her possum-do, she will have to drive all the way to Fredneck Frederick to remedy the situation. Trixie, at The Beauty Bar, said she would be delighted to take her on as a client. No appointment necessary.

July 30, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Keepin' it in the Ballyhood | , , , | 7 Comments

Interpreting Sarah

Sprekin the Anglais, Sarah!

It Takes TWO (count ’em) TWO geniuses, for an ordinary person to understand her ramblings. At least, through her interpreters,  she finally makes sense.

Editor’s Note: The video is not  loading properly, so go here, to watch it. You really should. It’s brilliant.

July 29, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Politiks | , , | 4 Comments

POOP!

In which Thundersquee! Runs Your Lives

ts-poop

Since we here at Thundersquee! know who we are and what we do best, we would like to present to you, POOP!–Pretentious Ostentatious Obtrusive Poppycock.

Each Friday we will give you advice on what you should do with your free time and excess cash. We will also provide etiquette advice to avoid embarrassing situations.


POOP! of the Week:

Have you been saving up for that 3 week vacation in Europe, or some exotic location?  And you still can’t afford a five star hotel for the entire 3 weeks?

Relax. Think of the closest metropolitan area adjacent to where you live. Stay there for 2 or 3 nights at a five star hotel– EVEN IF IT IS WITHIN DRIVING DISTANCE.  Enjoy the good life for 2 or 3 days.  At least this is better than cohabiting with peasants, at the Holiday Inn Express with no room service.

Treat yourself! That’s what life is all about!

April 10, 2009 Posted by | Daily Whims | , | 1 Comment

POOP!

In which Thundersquee! Runs Your Lives

ts-poop

Since we here at Thundersquee! know who we are and what we do best, we would like to present to you, POOP!–Pretentious Ostentatious Obtrusive Poppycock.

Each Friday we will give you advice on what you should do with your free time and excess cash. We will also provide etiquette advice to avoid embarrassing situations.


POOP! of the Week:

Even if you do not have an iPhone, end all your e-mails with “Sent from my iPhone.”

It will convince all your friends you have an iPhone.

Be sure to leave in all the typos to make it even more convincing.

Sent from my iPhone

April 4, 2009 Posted by | Daily Whims | , | 5 Comments

POOP!

In which Thundersquee! Runs Your Lives

ts-poop

Since we here at Thundersquee! know who we are and what we do best, we would like to present to you, POOP!–Pretentious Ostentatious Obtrusive Poppycock.

Each Friday we will give you advice on what you should do with your free time and excess cash. We will also provide etiquette advice to avoid embarrassing situations.


POOP! of the Week: In order to avoid the dreaded, and potentially embarrassing “cabernet mustache,” eat your wine with a fork.

March 20, 2009 Posted by | Daily Whims | , | 5 Comments

The More You Know

Ice Edition

Due to the recent onslaught of ice and snow storms across the US, (excluding California and Hawaii) I would like to issue a reminder. When you are using the ice picks to extract your vehicles, please remember to clear the ice off the top of your car. I do realize that some states are backwards (I’m looking at you, Maryland) and do not require vehicle owners to take this possibly life-saving action. But, let me assure you of something. If a massive glacier comes flying off of your automobile and strikes another car, you will be responsible for any incurred damages. So, if you don’t want to be sued by someone who probably has more money than you do, please take the extra few minutes to CLEAR THE ICE OFF THE TOP OF YOUR DAMN CAR! I’m just sayin’…

January 30, 2009 Posted by | Keepin' it in the Ballyhood, The More You Know | , | 7 Comments

The Local Plow King® Franchise May Have Lost A Contract Last Night

ts-barneyThe weather turned really nasty here last night. It went from nice fluffy, white snow to sleet and freezing rain. Of course this meant I was awakened around 2:30 AM by the incessant scraping of a road plow. For those of you who have never had the privilege of living in a winter weather prone area, the sound of a plow scraping solid ice is somewhere between nails on a chalkboard and a jet landing in the street. Continue reading

January 29, 2009 Posted by | Daily Whims, Keepin' it in the Ballyhood | , , | 3 Comments

“Wizards, Whales, Potato Waves and Fries!”

Whatever your personal fantasy, it is all covered here in this video. (Unless you’re a freak.) But, that’s ok too. Just submit your personal freaks to squee@thundersquee.com, and unless it would be classified as porn, racially or sexually offensive, we will attempt to accommodate. (The key word being “attempt.”) Enjoy all the magical starchiness!

January 28, 2009 Posted by | Daily Whims | | 3 Comments