Another Word from Mae

Canada is not awesome Edition

After posting my reasons as to why the French are jerks, one of our favorite commenters was a bit upset because I said the Canadian military is as intimidating as the French military, and she gave us a list of 15 reasons why Canada is awesome. I’m here once again to discredit that notion, while adding a few reasons why Canada is better than France and has a few awesome things.

Note: This is in no way an attack on rumoUr or Canada; it’s merely a subjective list. Everyone is entitled to her opinion, but if it’s different than mine, it’s wrong! Thanks!

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A Word from Mae

French Edition

As a follow up to Deimos’ popular “French people are asked to smile” post, I thought I would clarify things for everyone as to why the French (namely Parisians) are notoriously dickish and universally hated.

(Note: None of these can be confirmed nor denied, but is anyone really going to tell me otherwise? 🙂 )

1. France is still pissed off because they have been irrelevant since 1940.

Bad Songs To Lose Your Virginity To

Strangely Enough, the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies Didn’t Make the List

I’ve recently becomes a fan of the web site Funk Jelly. Last week they did a list of The 10 Worst Songs to Lose Your Virginity To. I got a few songs into the list and I found myself putting together my own list. Their pick for the number one song made me laugh and I thought was a perfect choice. When you have a few minutes I recommend going over and checking out their list.

Here’s the list they inspired:

Least Appropriate Wedding Tunes

Sometimes Fat Bottomed Girls won’t make your rockin’ world go round

Wedding season is upon us.  Recently squeer! Chelsea – PETA Protector tied the knot, and soon one of Thundersquee!’s own, hag extraordinaire Cait will be following suit, so it felt like time for another wedding themed post. NPR recently did a list of their picks for the least appropriate wedding songs, and while they didn’t get it wrong, they could have done better, and their list was all too brief.  Here’s a quick recap of NPR’s choices:

• Send in the Clowns – Judy Collins
• You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ – The Righteous Brothers
• Just a Gigolo – Louis Prima
• The Lady is a Tramp – Frank Sinatra
• La donna e mobile from Rigoletto – Verdi Translation: “Anyone who trusts her is always wretched; he who opens his heart to her is lacking in caution.”

They’re all sound choices, but we think you can do much better.  Here are a few additions to get you started.

• Another One Bites the Dust – Queen
• 99 Problems – Ice-T (or Jay-Z)
• D-I-V-O-R-C-E – Tammy Wynette
• The Thrill is Gone – B.B. King
• Gold Digger – Kanye West
• Suspicious Minds – Elvis Presley

Add yours in the comments.

Arrrrgh You Kidding Me?

Swedish Pirate Party, FTW!

So big news from Sweden this week.  The Swedish Pirate Party, a party that wasn’t even in existence the last time European elections were held, secured 7% of the national vote in Sweden this week, enough to garner the party a seat in Parliament.

Swedish Pirates in Parliament, y’all!

Now before you go thinking these pirates are going to take to the high seas, and start stealing your IKEA furniture, just calm down.  The Swedish Pirate Party is more interested in online copyright issues, internet transparency, and opposing the enforcement of “the EU’s intellectual property (IP) enforcement directive, which demands that internet service ­providers turn over traffic data to copyright holders who are trying to track down filesharers.”

You know.  Napster and shit.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

An Intermission From Hate

I often rant and rave about the things that bother me, but rarely do I go into detail about the things that make my heart smile. In an effort to be more positive, I’ve decided to try something new. So without further delay, I present to you a list of my favorite things. Feel free to add yours in the comment section.

The Top 10 Countries Most People Have Never Heard Of

Where in the World?

National Geographic once conducted a survey among people ages 18-24 in nine countries to test their geography skills. Of those 9 countries, Mexico came in last, but rounding out the bottom rungs were The U.S., Canada and the UK.  Don’t we all feel like Super-Powers now?  In an attempt to catch us all up and repair our wounded sense of superiority, here’s my list of countries no one has ever heard of.  I hadn’t heard of most of these countries either.  I had to look them up, which isn’t easy when you don’t know what you’re looking for.

10. Cape Verde

9.  Vanuatu

8.  Nauru

7. Wales

6.  Kiribati

5. São Tomé & Príncipe

4. Tuvalu

3. Benin

2. Lesotho

1. Palau

Computers Want to Tear Your Children’s Faces Off

If the dogs don’t get them first

Is there anything left that doesn’t want to feast on the facial flesh of our children?  Last night I was working away on a dog-proof suit when an IM containing a link came my way.  Imagine my surprise when I clicked the link and found that computers want to eat babies, too.  I wanted to read the entire article, but my neighbor has small children and I was concerned the danger would leak out of my computer and tear their faces off before I could stop it.  Then I remembered that they have a Miniature Pinscher which means their kids probably don’t have faces anyway, so I kept on reading.

Balls!

Fun and Games with Balls

Stopthemadness has a couple of quirky friends that love to play quirky games.  They came up with this one on a road trip in New Zealand.  The only clear radio station they could find was an Easy Listening station, so they decided to replace the word “love” with the word “balls” and hilarity ensued.  Thundersquee! hereby brings the hilarity right to your computer machines.

Childish?  Yes.  Silly?  Uh-huh?  A much needed respite from discussions of racism, sexism, gay marriage-ism, and broken microwavism?  Absolutely.

I’ve Got My Balls to Keep Me Warm, Frank Sinatra

The snow is snowing, the wind is blowing
But I can weather the storm
What do I care how much it may storm?
I’ve got my balls to keep me warm

Angry Black Lady Chronicles

Top Ten Reasons Sonia Sotomayor is Unfit for the Supreme Court

 

1. She’s a chick lady: Never trust anything that bleeds once a month, but won’t die.

2. She’s Mexican: They’re taking our jerbs!  She will amend the Constitution to force all Americans to speak Mexicanese!

3. She’s Puerto Rican: What the hell is “Puerto Rican” anyway?  Everybody knows that “Puerto Rican” is just an elitist term for “Mexican.”  (See Number 2.)

4. She eats traditional Puerto Mexican cuisine like pig ears and pig intestines: Two words:  Swine Flu.

5. Her last name is weird: More Thomases, Robertses, and Stevenses please.

6. If you rearrange the letters in her last name, “Sotomayor,” you get “Mao roots y”: Hey Sonia, I don’t know “y” you have “mao roots,” but this here is Amurika, and we don’t take kindly to communists.

7.  If you rearrange the letters in her full name, “Sonia Sotomayor,” you get “A arsonist moo yo”: Do we really need some crazed pyromaniac on the Supreme Court?  Especially one who apparently talks to cows in street slang, yo?

8.  She grew up in New York: Do you know what used to stand tall in New York?  The World Trade Center.  Now I’m not saying she had anything to do with it, but, she does looks sort of terrorist-y around the eyes.

9. She can’t pee standing up: Anyone who can’t figure how to pee correctly–standing up–has no business in the Supreme Court.  Never fear, Sonia; the magic cone will solve this problem.

10. She was born on June 25: Gay bathroom stall enthusiast and pop singer, George Michael also was born on June 25.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Clearly, she’s going to legalize gay marriage, which in turn will give us all the gay resulting in a sharp increase in formerly heterosexual citizens deciding to get gay married.  End of civilization as we know it.  Fire rains from the sky.  Water turns to ice.  And you thought dinosaurs had a crap time when they became extinct.