uncollectedminds

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Hey! You Got Milkyway on Your Face!

No, not the candy bar. THE GALAXY!ts-starface1

In Courtrai, Belgium last week, 18-year-old Kimberley Vlaminck–likely with a mischievous twinkle in her eye– got wasted, walked into a tattoo parlor, passed the fuck out, and woke up seeing stars.  On her face.  Tattoos. 56 of them. Permanent ink tattoos.  Homegirl only wanted threeeeeee stars!!!  Not fifty-siiiiiiix!!!

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June 18, 2009 Posted by | Criminally Stupid, News You May or May Not Use, What the Crap!? | , , | 29 Comments

Dirty Dancing

As directed by David Lynch

 

I love movies. I’ll watch anything if it looks good. Documentaries, foreign film, action, horror, it doesn’t matter. The video store I went to before I got Netflix knew my odd taste in movies well. Every now and then they would get a new employee and we would have this conversation.

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June 17, 2009 Posted by | Culture Critic, Found on the Internet, What the Crap!? | , , , | 1 Comment

Please to understand kthx.

Sigh.

geek-glasses

Thundersquee! is experiencing some technical ish-yews at present – hence the lack of updated content.

We’re sorry, y’all.  We’re working on fixing things!


Update: We’re back.  There was a routing problem on the intertubes today that prevented some of us from accessing the site, including two of your editors. On behalf of some co-location company in San Diego, apologies  for the inconvenience.   Sorry, hon…I mean President Bale.

The issues have been resolved, i.e., I was finally able to get someone to get off their ass and push a button or two.

A special thanks to her awesomeness, Cait, for jumping in and keeping stuff flowing today.  I know a sick doggie and impending nuptials can’t leave a lot of time. (I hope Charlie is OK.  Too bad I can’t get someone to push a button and make him all better, too.)

Lily

June 16, 2009 Posted by | What the Crap!? | | 6 Comments

Baby Jumping Festival

Wait, What Jumping Festival?

ts-baby-jumpingYesterday marked the end of the annual Colacho Baby Jumping Festival in Castrillo de Murcia in Spain.

Since 1620 Castrillo de Murcia has celebrated the Catholic festival f Corpus Christi by taking part in an event that is known as El Colacho, or baby jumping.  The tradition has been ongoing since the 1620s.  In the event, grown men dressed as the Devil jump over babies born in the prior year.  The babies lie on mattresses in the street.  Check out some pictures of last year’s event here.

Not one to be xenophobic and question the rituals of other cultures, but maybe those babies should be wearing full body armor?  Getting a bunch of guys drunk on Spanish wine and having them jump over babies doesn’t sound exactly safe.

June 16, 2009 Posted by | News You May or May Not Use, What the Crap!? | , , | 8 Comments

Do You See That?

Those Are Pigs… and They’re Flying!ts-daddydickcheney

Well, I’ll be the daughter of a hamster.  The Dark Lord himself, Dick Cheney, has once and for all broken with party lines and has come out in support of gay marriage.  Of course one assumes that he never has really been against gay marriage (his daughter Mary has the gay), but was simply feigning bigotry (or at least letting bigotry slide) so as not to piss off the base:

“I think that freedom means freedom for everyone.  As many of you know, one of my daughters is gay and it is something we have lived with for a long time in our family. I think people ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish. Any kind of arrangement they wish. The question of whether or not there ought to be a federal statute to protect this, I don’t support. I do believe that the historically the way marriage has been regulated is at the state level. It has always been a state issue and I think that is the way it ought to be handled, on a state-by-state basis. … But I don’t have any problem with that. People ought to get a shot at that.”

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June 2, 2009 Posted by | News You May or May Not Use, Politiks, What the Crap!? | , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Jon and Kate Plus My Fist In Their Face

Now THAT would be good for ratingsjonkate8

I’m so sick of hearing about Jon and Kate. Seriously, I don’t get it. I have never seen the show so I watched an old episode last night to see what all the fuss is about. Kate is a freaking terror. That woman is so nasty and bossy that I just want to smack her until she’s purple. I’d seriously like to know what she did with Jon’s balls. Where is she hiding them? Why does he allow himself to be belittled on national TV? Why man, WHY?  No wonder the poor dude runs out and gets wasted; I’d need a steady IV drip of booze to put up with that crap.

I don’t like the cheating thing though. If you are unhappy in your relationship you should just end it, not sneak around behind your spouse’s back. I understand there’s more money in it for him if he stays, but it’s still kind of messed up. I’m not even going to get into how wrong it is to whore your children out for money.

Anyway, my official stance on Jon and Kate is that they both suck to the tenth degree and I feel sorry for their children. I hope they save some of their money for the years of therapy those kids are going to need when they grow up.

What do you think about this Jon and Kate business?

May 27, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Culture Critic, What the Crap!? | , , | 10 Comments

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

Bananas?amy-winehouse-banana-run

Amy Drinkhouse, sorry, Amy Drunkhouse, my bad, Winehouse canceled her upcoming concert that was supposed to be some kind of comeback. Don’t call it a comeback. I’m sorry, but I can’t say that word without breaking out into L.L.’s, Mama Said Knock You Out. (You know that song is going to be stuck in your head all day now.) Anyway, a recent concert at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival was cut short. It was mostly not her fault. Blame that bitch, Mother Nature. She has some nerve raining on Amy’s big day like that. Mother Nature almost ruined my wedding day, and almost soaked my super cool puffy-shouldered wedding gown. Shut up, it was the 90s. Don’t judge.

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May 22, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Culture Critic, What the Crap!? | , , | 1 Comment

It’s a Nice Day for a White Trash Wedding

Prepare Yourself for KLASS out the Ass

ts-white-wedding-trash

Sixteen-year-old daddy’s girl Missy Quinn wanted to get married to her seventeen-year-old boyfriend, so her father Simon gave her a £100,000 white wedding fit for a Rock of Love gutter slut.

According to Daily Mail, Missy’s wedding dress cost £16,000 and was studded with Swarovski crystals and had a 10 foot wide train. When she arrived at the church in a Rolls-Royce Phantom, it took ten guests to help her out of the car due to the weight of the dress and train.

“It was huge. I wanted to outdo everyone else’s wedding dress,” Missy said.

“It was extremely heavy and just standing in the church was really difficult. But despite all that, I felt just like Cinderella.”

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May 20, 2009 Posted by | Culture Critic, News You May or May Not Use, What the Crap!? | , , | 18 Comments

Where’s the Respect for Hitler?

The stache, the hair, the ummmmm? I got nothing.

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Apparently, a German man waited to get into the famed Madame Tussaud’s wax museum so he could rip Hitler’s head off.  The Berlin museum apparently warns museum-goers not to take pictures with Hitler out of respect to those he murdered (and their families) during World War II.  Hey mom, look! I’m drinking a beer with Hitler. I bet they don’t serve beer. But they should.

The culprit was a good little prisoner and didn’t resist arrest but he was fined. Hitler, if you’re interested, was dressed in a grey suit and looked, “gloomy.”  As well he shold since he murdered  millions of humans. I’m just saying.

So with 900 euros, you too can rip the head off a crazy man. For everything else, there’s Mastercard.

I say kudos to the culprit. I’ve seen the movie Wax Museum. I know how wax figurines can come to life and wreak havoc on the living. Let this be a lesson to you Stalin and Mussolini. Your heads can be ripped off too. Sadly, Hitler was fixed and put back on display. We’ll get you, Hitler. If not now, later!


May 20, 2009 Posted by | Criminally Stupid, News You May or May Not Use, What the Crap!? | , , , , | 2 Comments

Flies Turning Fire Ants into Zombies

Jeff Goldblum, FTW!!

ts-bigantfaceImagine this:

You’re a queen fire ant. You and your fiery brethren have plotted and planned your quest to conquer the United States.

Your journey started in Argentina, South America. You woke up one day, sounded the alarm, and millions of little fire ants packed their luggage (actually their luggage consisted of teeny tiny red bandanas affixed to sticks) and made their way northward to the Panama Canal. Many died along the way, but you refused to let your ant army give up. You reached Panama in a little over a year. Once there, you and your fire army (the ones who had survived the trek from Argentina) burrowed your way into bales of hay, sod, and other landscape plant life and waited for a cargo ship to carry you to the Promise Land.

You safely landed on the shores of Texas.  Your fiery destruction seemed unstoppable…

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May 19, 2009 Posted by | News You May or May Not Use, What the Crap!? | , , , , | 4 Comments