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“I’m a Rock Star, I’m Not a Feminist!”

You’d better duck, Lady Gaga. My vagina is in a throwing mood.


lady-gaga1Oh, Lady Gaga, you have narrowly avoided my vagina’s wrath (Why? Because I like sex, and I like booze, and I like a catchy tune), that is, you’ve avoided it UNTIL NOW. I was hoping against hope that, as an arteest (who claims to loves ze gays in a non-demeaning way BUT NOW I WONDER ABOUT THAT, TOO) you would be on MY side, and by that, I mean on the side of women, AKA, uh, you! Have you forgotten that on the arm of every gay man with a ticket to your show there are THREE women?

I understand that the term “feminism” has been weirdly muddled by people who don’t understand what feminism is, but while I ain’t no Vassar scholar, I think I can at LEAST explain that feminism= EQUALISM. For instance, how ’bout getting equal pay for equal work? How ’bout NOT being treated like you can’t speak for yourself in ANY situation (E.g., bill-paying, restaurant situations, bank heists). Lady Gaga, you’re newly rich AND you’re young–I understand that, right now, you don’t HAVE to understand the world the rest of us live in, but you DO have to appeal to your weird, possibly methamphetamine addicted public to sell your kind-of-okay-but-not-really records. And they are mostly, weirdly, women, despite your “Gays Only!” policy.

So here’s the moral: don’t bite the methamphetamine-addicted hand that feeds you, because that hand will die young and toothless and stop paying for your records (because they’re dead), and then you won’t get fed.

Video after the jump.

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August 5, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Culture Critic, Sarah's Vagina Wants to Throw Stuff | , , , | 22 Comments

Women Who Hate Women Make My Vagina Want to Throw Things At Them: Part Deux

Would you ladies stop making me do this? THROWING THINGS VAGINALLY IS REALLY A LOT OF WORK!

Tree climber, woman hater Zoe Saldana

Tree climber, woman hater Zoe Saldana

An interview with Zoe Saldana (who plays Nyota Uhura in JJ Abrams’ Star Trek flick) as the May issue of Cosmopolitan’s “Fun Fearless Female” revealed these kind words:

Question (from Molly Fahner, Cosmo Interviewer Extraordinaire): You were one of the few women on-set. What was that like?
Answer (from Zoe Saldana, Woman Who Hates Women Extraordinaire) : I loved it! I’ve always been a guy’s girl. ALL my friends are males. I’m not a “chick,” I’m not that communicative, and I like dirt bikes and climbing trees.

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April 7, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Culture Critic, Sarah's Vagina Wants to Throw Stuff | , , , , | 31 Comments

Women Who Tell Other Women That They Don’t Like Women Make My Vagina Want To Throw Things At Them.

The Devil in Mrs. Jones

ts-rashida116An interview with Rashida Jones in the March issue of Marie Claire contained this quote:

“I spend most of my time with my guy friends… blah blah blah…* girls can be complicated. Guys just see it – and tell it – like it is.”

Now, it’s common knowledge that this is a favorable thing to say when being interviewed by Maxim, FHM, or Douchebag Quarterly. Female celebrities, models and even widely-known actresses (maybe not respected ones, but Cameron Diaz and Sharon Stone count, too) are well aware that at some point they’ll be expected to proclaim their unwaveringly loyal “guy’s gal” status. Continue reading

February 11, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Culture Critic, Sarah's Vagina Wants to Throw Stuff | , , , , | 28 Comments