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Interpreting Sarah

Sprekin the Anglais, Sarah!

It Takes TWO (count ’em) TWO geniuses, for an ordinary person to understand her ramblings. At least, through her interpreters,  she finally makes sense.

Editor’s Note: The video is not  loading properly, so go here, to watch it. You really should. It’s brilliant.

July 29, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Politiks | , , | 4 Comments

Levi Johnston and Hitler Weigh in on Sarah Palin Resigning

One of them doesn’t take it too well…

sarah-louise-heath-palin-2430Bristol Palin’s baby daddy Levi Johnston is talking about Sarah Palin’s decision to resign as governor of Alaska. Levi and the Palin family have had a not so friendly relationship ever since he and Bristol called off their sham of an engagement. I can’t imagine his statements here will do anything to ease that.

Johnston claims to have overheard Sarah talking about how she would like to cash in on her new found fame with all the offers coming in including a possible reality show and a book.

“She had talked about how nice it would be to take some of this money people had been offering us and you know just run with it, say ‘forget everything else,'” he said. Adding, “I think the big deal was the book. That was millions of dollars.”

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July 15, 2009 Posted by | Culture Critic, Doosh Watch 2009, Politiks | , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Sarah Palin Resigned

For the Good of the People

ts-soapbox

Sarah Palin has decided to step down as the Governor of Alaska to save the state all the money it is spending on investigating her for ethics violations. She has also stated that she doesn’t want to be a “lame duck” and that “one term was enough”. Please watch this video while I go look for my soap box.

OK, I’m back.

Boy, where to start. As many of you know, I am extremely liberal. On most issues I’m so far to the left that I start to wrap back around. I’m so far left when I stick my head out my door I can see Rush Limbaugh’s house. Right now he is relaxing by his pool, popping drugs by the handful and sporting a Speedo, it’s not a pretty sight. Oh wait, I’m sorry. Rush isn’t popping drugs, he’s taking his “prescription”.

Back to Sarah. Lets talk about “One term being enough”. She was elected in 2006. Took office in January of 2007. She spent around four months running for Vice President. And now has retired with a year and a half to go on her term. Maybe my math is off, but in the two and a half years as Governor of Alaska she was only really there for about two years worth of work. I know some people will say while she was running for V.P. she was still doing her work as Governor and that is kind of true. Let’s be honest, in those months she was running for V.P. all of her attention was focused on winning and getting the hell out of Alaska. How can she claim one term was enough when she BARELY completed HALF of her first term as Governor?

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July 8, 2009 Posted by | Culture Critic, Doosh Watch 2009, Politiks, The Wrath of Kahn | , , , , , | 10 Comments

Survey Says…?

Cheerios May Actually Kill You!ts-cheerios

A recent poll conducted by Rasmussen shows that 87 percent of voters disagree with the United States Food and Drug Administration that American breakfast staple Cheerios should be regulated as a drug.

Back in May, the FDA sent a warning letter to General Mills which stated that Cheerios should be regulated as a drug because the company’s advertising makes “unauthorized health claims” about the ability of Cheerios to help reduce cholesterol.

The FDA also stated that Cheerios “may not be legally marketed with the above claims in the United States without an approved new drug application and that  “enforcement action may include seizure of violative products and/or injunction against the manufacturers and distributors of violative products.”

When voters were told that General Mills claims that Cheerios can help reduce cholesterol, only three percent of voters said the cereal should be yanked from supermarkets and sold only in pharmacies, and only four percent of voters agreed that Cheerios should be regulated by the FDA.

I say, do it.  Hell, make Cheerios a controlled substance.  Imagine the glorious turn the debate about universal healthcare would take if families without health insurance had to pay 200 dollars for a box of Cheerios.

Besides, further investigation revealed that the four percent of voters were paid off by lobbyists from the Toasted Oats Alliance:

ts-toasted-oats

Take a look at those strange markings on the box.  Obviously, the Toasted Oats Alliance is a terrorist organization.

Source.

July 6, 2009 Posted by | News You May or May Not Use, Politiks | , , , | 6 Comments

North Korea Keeps Kicking Up Dust

Or Whatever You Kick Up in North Koreakim

Kim Jong Il’s pants must be riding high lately because he has been making all kinds of threats. He’s getting ready to turn over power to his, son but he wants to fill the world with fear before he leaves. I can’t help but wonder if this is some sort of revenge for Team America World Police. All joking aside, these are scary times we live in. Any time someone threatens to rain nuclear fire on the heads of others you should keep a close eye on them. A logical person knows that dropping a nuclear weapon would more than likely end up with more being dropped, which in turn will kill everyone on the planet. Some people don’t care about these things because some people are just plain crazy. I really do hope Obama and the U.N. can do something to defuse this situation; we do not need another war.

June 25, 2009 Posted by | Politiks | , , , | 2 Comments

Angry Black Lady Chronicles

The Universal Health Care Debate According to Rush Limbaugh ts-exercise-art

As the debate about universal health care (also known as socialized medicine, commie health care, pinko health care, deathcare, Islamo-fascist health care, and turrorist health care) kicks into high gear, Washington is all abuzz about what Obama is planning to do.  Will he require everyone to be insured?  Will he institute some sort of black ops covert paramilitary program under which black helicopters will circle every residence, offloading paratroopers who will fall from the sky, knock on your door, and demand to see your health insurance card?  Will it be single payer?  Will it be employer-based?  Will it be a health co-op?

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June 23, 2009 Posted by | Angry Black Lady Chronicles, Culture Critic, Doosh Watch 2009, Politiks | , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Obama: Flygate

PETA Freaks Out.ts-fly1

Oh come on now, PETA.  Y’all do a lot of good for animal rights, but then you undermine your admirable goal by doing shit that is really just absurd.

Yesterday during Obama’s interview with CNBC, a pesky fly starting flying about Obama’s face.  So he did what any normal person would do when confronted with an annoying fly–he swatted that fucker dead.


I saw this on the TV last night and said “Uh oh.  Here comes the ‘Obama hates animals’ meme.”  Of course, PETA did not let me down.  PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich had this to say:”We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals. We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals.”

After stating that PETA was happy with Obama’s voting record on animal rights, he said,  “Swatting a fly on TV indicates he’s not perfect, and we’re happy to say that we wish he hadn’t.”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

I wonder what PETA’s position on animal on animal abuse is.  This cat clearly has it in for flies:

Source.

June 18, 2009 Posted by | Culture Critic, Daily Whims, Politiks | , , , , | 12 Comments

Joan Walsh Took on Bill O’Reilly

She stays calm, he stays crazyts-o_reilly_factor

Abortion is a tricky subject.  Personally, I’m pro-choice, but after 15 years of arguing about it, I’ve resigned myself to avoid the abortion debate.  It is a sensitive issue.  For a lot of people, it’s a religious issue.  For others, a feminist issues.

Nonetheless, I think we can all agree that tossing around terms like “baby killer” or “abortion mill” do nothing but inflame an already inflammatory issue the discussion or try to reach a common solution about the abortion debate.  It’s inflammatory an unnecessary rhetoric.  Furthermore, it is rhetoric that, TMIMO, lead, in some way, to the murder of Dr. George Tiller.

It doesn’t matter whether you think late term abortion is wrong (always or only in some cases), or whether the legal facility which Tiller operated was a moral abomination. (I say “legal,” fully understanding that the legality of an activity doesn’t make it “right,” whatever “right” means to you.)  The point is that vigilante justice is no justice at all.  Justice should be sought from one’s government and legislators.

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June 16, 2009 Posted by | Culture Critic, Doosh Watch 2009, News You May or May Not Use, Politiks | , , , , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

Doosh Watch 2009: Jon Voight

“STFU, Dad.”ts-angelina-jolie-voight

The feud between Angelina Jolie and her father Jon Voight is renowned.  In 2002, Jon Voight opened his yapper and told Access Hollywood that he wanted his daughter to seek help for “severe emotional problems.” I reckon he wasn’t too pleased about seeing his daughter running around acting all stabby and homosexicle whilst wearing a vial of Billy Bob Mothereffin’ Thornton’s blood around her neck.

By 2002, however, Angelina was on the road to being the Mother Earth (literally figuratively) she is now.  It was in 2002 that Angelina was named Good Will Ambassador for the UN Refugee Agency.  She was “turning her life around,” as they say, and really, who wants to turn on the TV and have some old coot you’re supposed to call “Dad” talking to Access friggin’ Hollywood about how fucked up you are?  No one.  And after that it was lights out for Old Voight.  Angelina wanted nothing to do with him as she moved forward with her life, adopting children hither and thither.

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June 16, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Culture Critic, Doosh Watch 2009, Politiks | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Twitter/Iran Elections Controversy

Ask and ye shall receive.ts-twitter

Elections in Iran last Friday have resulted in explosive violence in the streets of Tehran this weekend.  Current President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad proclaimed a landslide victory.  His rival, Mir Hossein Mousavi was placed under house arrest (according to unconfirmed reports based on tweets being sent from Iran) yet continued to called upon his supporters to continue to protest the election results and he’s been using Twitter to help, posting as Mousavi1388.

Now here’s where Twitter came and saved the day.  Iran had already blocked Facebook and YouTube in an attempt to silence the Iranian citizens’ ability to communicate with the outside world.  But they forgot about Twitter.  Tweets have been streaming from Iran and #IRANELECTIONS has been one of the top trending topics for the past four days.

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June 16, 2009 Posted by | News You May or May Not Use, Politiks | , , | 4 Comments