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Time to Nut Up or Shut Up ts-zombieland-poster

I love me some zombies, be they in film or fiction. Here is the Red Banner trailer for Woody Harrelson’s new zombie comedy. You know, the one that caused Woody to attack a real person at LaGuardia Airport because he thought the guy was a photographer zombie. It’s is restricted, however it’s mostly NSFW (not safe for work) language, but there is a scene with a zombie stripper running in slow motion with pasties on. So use your own judgment as to where and when you want to view it.

You will need to enter your birthday to view the trailer. If you forgot what it is, just enter July 4, 1776. That worked for me.


August 7, 2009 Posted by | Movie Marquis | , , , | 4 Comments

Miley Cyrus Wants to be Batgirl

If this isn’t a joke I’m getting on a plane, flying to L.A. and kicking Billie Ray Cyrus right in the junk

miley-cyrusAccording to Hollyscoop.com Miley Cyrus auditioned to play Batgirl along side Christian Bale. I think the photo sums up fan reaction nicely.

“She was sort of hopping around the room and had even written some dialogue for herself,” a source said of Cyrus’ audition. “The problem is some people aren’t really convinced Miley Cyrus has the acting chops to pull it off.”

This has to be bullshit. I can believe she wants the part. I can even believe her agent forced a meeting, but I just don’t see anyway in hell that they would cast her. Christian Bale has stated that he would walk if they tried to make the Batman movies campy, so I just don’t see this happening.

The Batman movies need to just be Batman. No Robin, no Batgirl, just the Dark Knight. Superhero movies almost always go wrong when they try and force to many characters into them.

I guess there are worse choices out there. It could be Kristen Stewart as Batgirl.

July 30, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Culture Critic, Movie Marquis | , , | 7 Comments

Twilight: New Moon Bootleg Video

Here we go again ts-twilight_new_moon-13018

Once again, I have to say that I just don’t get what the big deal is. I haven’t read the books; I did see the last movie and I thought it was godawful. It seems like the only reason Twilight is popular is because people, mostly girls, insist that it is.

The video here is pretty crappy but that doesn’t matter. The real reason I am posting this is for the background noise of people, mostly girls, reacting to what they are seeing. Someone should call Guinness because at the one minute thirty three mark the person taking the video captured what might be the largest simultaneous orgasm ever caught on film at a Con. After last year’s Princess Leia in a slave girl costume contest, that’s really saying something.

Video after the jump.

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July 27, 2009 Posted by | Movie Marquis | , , , | 10 Comments

‘arry Potter

Half-Blood Prince (now with more pubic hair) ts-harry-potter-and-the-half-blood-prince-03

Well, shoot.  I haven’t even read Half-Blood Prince yet.  I started it a year ago and got about halfway through.  But having read books 1-5 in about two weeks, I was suffering an acute case of Over- Potter Syndrome.  Then I got sidetracked by Twilight. Then I got sidetracked in the middle of Eclipse and started reading old Stephen King novels. And then I got sidetracked in the middle of Christine by eleventy DVRed hours of So You Think You Can Dance.

What’s the point?  Well, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince opens today, and I can’t decide whether to finish the book or just go see the damn movie.

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July 15, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Movie Marquis | , , , , | 11 Comments

Joan Jett Made Kristen Stewart Cry

There’s No Crying in Rock and Rollts-kristen-stewart

Kristen Stewart is playing Joan Jett in the upcoming movie The Runaways. Things don’t seem to be going too well, because Jett brought Stewart to tears on the set, recently. Maybe the producers shouldn’t have cast someone with the acting range of Terri Schiavo. What? I’m just saying.

“Joan just wants Kristen to play an authentic version of herself, so she needled her a little bit too much. But she apologized when she realized how upset Kristen got,” reported a witness to The NY Daily News on Tuesday.

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July 1, 2009 Posted by | Movie Marquis | , , , , | 7 Comments

Best Movie Review Ever

Roger Ebert’s take on Transformers 2

Megan Fox callibrates her weapons

Megan Fox calibrates her weapons

It’s possible Roger Ebert didn’t like the new Transformers movie.  Here’s an excerpt.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.

The review would have been thorough if only he had included: “Megan Fox’s bra size and IQ are roughly equivalent, and “Shia LaBeouf has the screen appeal of a door knob.”

(Editor’s Note:  No offense to door knobs intended.)

June 24, 2009 Posted by | Culture Critic, Movie Marquis | , , , | 2 Comments

Alice in Wonderland

Looks good so far…

ts-aliceusatoday11Here are some promo shots of Tim Burton’s upcoming Alice in Wonderland starring Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, and Helena Bonham Carter as the Queen of Hearts.  The movie also stars Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, and Stephen Fry, and is slated to be released sometime in 2010.  With such a strong cast, I  hope the movie will be fantastical in its awesomitude.  I really didn’t enjoy Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; it was too weird for me.  Or maybe I hadn’t taken enough LSD when I saw it.  And by “enough” I mean “any.”

What’s your take on Burton’s trip down the rabbit hole?

More pictures after the jump.

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June 22, 2009 Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Movie Marquis | , , , , , | 4 Comments

Ed Helms in The Hangover

I Went to College with This Guy. 

ts-ed-helmsEd Helms, star of The Hangover, took a tip from his former colleague on The Daily Show and current co-star on The Office, Steve Carrell, and went “all out” as the kids say, to nail his role in The Hangover.

As you might remember, Steve Carrell endured a full chest waxing for his role in the The 40 Year Old Virgin.  The scene was totally unscripted and could only be shot (for obvious reasons) in one take.  The reactions you see from Carrell’s castmates, Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, and Romany Malco (you may know him as the black dude on Weeds), are real reactions; no acting involved.

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June 12, 2009 Posted by | Movie Marquis | , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Leave Footloose Alone!!!

Chasing Bacon

footlooseEver since I heard they were remaking this movie full of greatness, I’ve been sad, but then I forgot all about it and thought Hollywood had, too. But, it seems my celebrations were too early. Chace Crawford, who’s too pretty for words, shall be the new Kevin Bacon. Originally Zac Ephron was cast but dropped out and they just substituted Zac Ephron part deaux in the role. I had trouble telling them apart. Next up they can do the male version of The Patty Duke Show. I’ll let them dance fight over who gets to be on top.

Chace Crawford, you hear me now. You are no Kevin Bacon, SIR! Do you think that you can dance angry in a warehouse drinking beer and mentally envisioning a montage like Mr. Bacon? You think you can do knee slides, spins, and high kicks with his tenacity? I highly doubt it, small fry. He was the male Jennifer Beals of his time. No other guy from the 80’s can say that.

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May 25, 2009 Posted by | Daily Whims, Movie Marquis | , , , , | 5 Comments

KeeblerKahn’s Movie Seal of Approval

Three movies you should watch

I know that the three movies which I recommended in the “So Bad They are Good” post may not be to everyone’s taste. So today, I’m giving you three good movies that I think are under appreciated.

First up is a movie I love: Pleasantville.  If I had to make a list of my favorite movies, Pleasantville would be in the top ten.

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May 21, 2009 Posted by | Movie Marquis, Wistful Lists | , , , , , | 9 Comments