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Girl with Eyeblack

The Swooning Saint Edition

medium_drew-breesContinuing a sports theme this week here at Thundersquee, we’d like to present our NFL Boyfriend, Drew Brees, insanely talented (and kind) quarterback for the New Orleans Saints.

What’s that you say?  I’m a homer?

Mais oui, chere, but have you seen this?

My fiance sent me this, noting, “I showed you [this] at the risk of you leaving me for him.”

Continue reading

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April 24, 2009 Posted by | Girl with Eyeblack | , , , , | 5 Comments

Girl with Eyeblack

The Doosh Edition, Part Deux

Texans Colts FootballI know, I know – we’re all caught up with spring training and March Madness (I still hate UNC and Duke, by the way).

But this just incensed me.

::shakes tiny fist angrily::

Belichick and Reed had better watch out– there’s a new sheriff doosh in town, and his name is Robert Powell (from the Dallas Police Department).

On Tuesday, March 17 Houston Texans running back Ryan Moats was driving his wife and her great-aunt to the hospital in Plano, Texas. They had just received the call most children fear—his wife’s mother was dying, and if they wanted to say goodbye, they need to rush to the hospital immediately.

Yeah, it’s already that kind of sad tale, folks. Continue reading

March 26, 2009 Posted by | Girl with Eyeblack | , , , , , | 11 Comments

Girl with Eyeblack

Nuggets of Awesome Edition

In which you don’t have to read the smug stylings of ESPN to get what’s going on in the sports world.

  • Terrell Owens was finally cut by the Dallas Cowboys.  Pardon me for a moment while I snicker with evil mirth.  Betcha he ends up with Al Davis’ Raiders.
  • Shaquille O’Neal told Stan Van Gundy to suck it.
  • Mark Cuban is still offering Bill Belichick and Jeff Reed stiff competition for the title of Ultimate Sports Doosh.
  • This just in: The University of Florida (affectionately known as FU) still sucks more than Paris Hilton in a sex tape.  UF is seeking permission from the State of Florida to – involuntary shudder time, folks – BURY people on its campus.  I always knew there was something intensely creepy about Gainesville, and it appears my instincts have been vindicated.
  • My boy Chris Paul (C!!! P!!! 3!!! Woooo!) has excellent taste in 90’s alternative music.
  • It’s well known that the front office of the Arizona Cardinals is full of dooshes (see: Anquan Boldin).  This dooshtastic behavior continues with the ongoing negotiations to retain superawesome not Matt Leinart quarterback Kurt Warner.
  • More bad news for my beloved Deuce McAllister – his car dealership in Mississippi has filed Chapter 11. Oh, Deuce. Must I really retire my #26 jersey?
  • Conference tournaments for Division I college basketball are on the horizon, y’all.  And with the ACC and Big 12 duking it out amongst themselves prior to meeting in the March Madness Thunderdome (I should know, my fiance will probably be spending March Madness blearily cheering on his K-State Wildcats in the – lowers voice – NIT.)  Girl here is just praying that Cameron and all of its crazies mysteriously disappear for the next 3 weeks.

March 5, 2009 Posted by | Girl with Eyeblack | , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Girl with Eyeblack

The Doosh Edition

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This week Girl with Eyeblack presents the Doosh Bowl.  You only thought football season was over, but as the weeks until the draft speed by, drama is at all all-time high in the league.

We’re talking Krystal Carrington shoulder pad drama, y’all.

As free agency and trade talks reaches fever pitch, Girl with Eyeblack is monitoring some of the rumors with a dropped jaw – Kurt Warner to the 49ers?  WTF?  Matt Cassel to the Chiefs?  Christ on a crouton, talk about salary cap insanity!  Antonio Cromartie to the Saints?  (Okay, that’s just wishful thinking – we really could use a solid cornerback.)

But two douchewads stand apart from the rest at the moment: New England Patriots head coach Bill “Hoodie Mccheater” Belichick and Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff “Gotti” Reed.

No, really. Continue reading

March 3, 2009 Posted by | Girl with Eyeblack | , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Girl with Eyeblack

Girl vs. Commercials: THUNDERDOME EDITION

Speaking of commercials…

Meh.

Yes, meh. Apart from a few flashes of cute sentimentalism and dark, office-oriented humor, highlights were few and far between during the Super Bowl.

Viewers did get a great show from the Steelers and the Cardinals last night, and I was actively biting my nails during the fourth quarter.

(Bruce Springsteen’s botox is another story altogether, I’m afraid. ::involuntary shudder::)

But the normal slate of overpriced commercials underwhelmed me. Here were my favorites from last night–what about you? Any hits/misses? Continue reading

February 2, 2009 Posted by | Girl with Eyeblack | , , , | 4 Comments

Girl with Eyeblack

Somewhere, Janet Jackson seethes.

 

This ain’t your normal Super Bowl commercial, folks—last night in Tucson, Arizona, Super Bowl viewers hoping for a Cardinals victory got more they than bargained for, when, during a commercial break, the usual Budweiser ad was replaced by…

…porn. Continue reading

February 2, 2009 Posted by | Girl with Eyeblack | , , , , | 5 Comments

Girl with Eyeblack

Super Bowl XLIII, a heartwarming tale of interceptions

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Will this be the year of the feelgood comeback?

In a heartwarming Disneyesque turn of events, plucky interception machine Kurt Warner (I always like to imagine his name pronounced as “VAH-nuh”) has cemented his improbable return to the NFL elite by leading the Arizona Cardinals (9-7) to their very first Super Bowl against Fee Fie Foe Roethlisberger and the Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4).

Somewhere in Kiln, Mississippi, New York Jets quarterback Brett Favre is shaking his fist, wondering why he isn’t the QB with a revived career drifting graciously through league parties in Tampa this week. I, for one, giggle at the mental image.

Rhapsodic waxing aside, here’s what to look for in this weekend’s Big Game. Continue reading

January 30, 2009 Posted by | Girl with Eyeblack | , , | 2 Comments