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Another Word from Mae

Canada is not awesome Edition

canada-flag1After posting my reasons as to why the French are jerks, one of our favorite commenters was a bit upset because I said the Canadian military is as intimidating as the French military, and she gave us a list of 15 reasons why Canada is awesome. I’m here once again to discredit that notion, while adding a few reasons why Canada is better than France and has a few awesome things.

Note: This is in no way an attack on rumoUr or Canada; it’s merely a subjective list. Everyone is entitled to her opinion, but if it’s different than mine, it’s wrong! Thanks!

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July 21, 2009 Posted by | A Word from Mae, Culture Critic, Wistful Lists | , , | 38 Comments

A Word from Mae

French Edition

As a follow up to Deimos’ popular “French people are asked to smile” post, I thought I would clarify things for everyone as to why the French (namely Parisians) are notoriously dickish and universally hated.

(Note: None of these can be confirmed nor denied, but is anyone really going to tell me otherwise? 🙂 )

1. France is still pissed off because they have been irrelevant since 1940.

france

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July 20, 2009 Posted by | A Word from Mae, Wistful Lists | , | 18 Comments

Mae Hates Cupcakes [Redux]

Truly, Madly, Deeply

Cupcakes. I hate them more than anything ever created. I hate them more than pollution, traffic jams, Rosie O’ Donnell, even more than the New York Yankees. They are my arch nemeses. Now you may be wondering, “Why Mae? How can you not love cupcakes? They’re gooey, cute and sweet confectionary goodness.” Well, that’s why I hate them.

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July 16, 2009 Posted by | A Word from Mae, I Hate Things | , , | 6 Comments

I Hate Things

Children Editionts-i-hate-children-they-annoy-me

Children. I really fucking hate children. I like my niece, she’s 12. And I’ve always liked her because she has always been (albeit shockingly) well mannered and courteous growing up, considering her mom and dad (my brother) are a bunch of divorced fucking idiots. I like my kid, but then again that could be because I gave her up for (open) adoption at birth. She may very well be an asshole. She is my kid after all, but I digress.

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April 23, 2009 Posted by | A Word from Mae, I Hate Things | , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

I Hate Things

10 Things I Hate and You Should Too, Edition

ts-dog-lap

No. 8, You're cordially invited to a brick party

1. 3 o’clock in the morning: I’m usually up at this time and 3 o’clock is the world’s way of telling me I’m a degenerate. How you ask? Because that’s when any semblance of decent programming goes off the air and I’m stuck with infomercials about male enhancement pills and the Aerogarden.

2. The voice black comedians use when making fun of white people: Seriously, we don’t all talk like we wear Lacoste, nor do we talk like our mothers breastfed us too long, cut it out. Thanks!

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March 31, 2009 Posted by | A Word from Mae, I Hate Things, Wistful Lists | , , | 13 Comments

I Hate Things

Cupcakes Edition

Cupcakes. I hate them more than anything ever created. I hate them more than pollution, traffic jams, Rosie O’ Donnell, even more than the New York Yankees.  They are my arch nemeses. Now you may be wondering, “Why Mae? How can you not love cupcakes? They’re gooey, cute and sweet confectionary goodness.” Well, that’s why I hate them.

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February 10, 2009 Posted by | A Word from Mae, I Hate Things | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

I Hate Things

Cheap Wine Edition

ts-cheap-fun-wine

This may be news to everyone, but cheap wine isn’t always good. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love me some cheap wine. Hell, I love Franzia (Chillable Red.) I can play the shit out of some Scrabble™ Cubes while happily drinking Chillable Red; but there is a fine line between good cheap wine and bad cheap wine. And that line is defined by twistable caps.  That’s it. Continue reading

January 26, 2009 Posted by | A Word from Mae, I Hate Things | , , , | 7 Comments

I Hate Things

Karaoke Edition

mae-karaoke-assholes

Karaoke. The word alone makes people cringe. I don’t know if it’s because I’m not a Japanese businessman or because I have a tiny shred of dignity, but I hate karaoke.

What is it about people that make them enjoy throwing verbal bricks at the faces of people who have to listen to their totally offensive rendition of Nickelback’s “Rockstar”? As if that song is not shitty enough, the sadist in them goes bonkers when they see the look of complete disgust rushing over the crowd, so their next pick is “Freebird.”  The over 14 minutes long live version. Now don’t get me wrong; occasionally the elusive unicorn appears carrying someone who knows how to hold a note, but that’s few and far between. Continue reading

January 26, 2009 Posted by | A Word from Mae, I Hate Things | , , , , | 10 Comments