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“I’m a Rock Star, I’m Not a Feminist!”

You’d better duck, Lady Gaga. My vagina is in a throwing mood.

NOW WITH MORE VIDEO GOODNESS!

lady-gaga1Oh, Lady Gaga, you have narrowly avoided my vagina’s wrath (Why? Because I like sex, and I like booze, and I like a catchy tune), that is, you’ve avoided it UNTIL NOW. I was hoping against hope that, as an arteest (who claims to loves ze gays in a non-demeaning way BUT NOW I WONDER ABOUT THAT, TOO) you would be on MY side, and by that, I mean on the side of women, AKA, uh, you! Have you forgotten that on the arm of every gay man with a ticket to your show there are THREE women?

I understand that the term “feminism” has been weirdly muddled by people who don’t understand what feminism is, but while I ain’t no Vassar scholar, I think I can at LEAST explain that feminism= EQUALISM. For instance, how ’bout getting equal pay for equal work? How ’bout NOT being treated like you can’t speak for yourself in ANY situation (E.g., bill-paying, restaurant situations, bank heists). Lady Gaga, you’re newly rich AND you’re young–I understand that, right now, you don’t HAVE to understand the world the rest of us live in, but you DO have to appeal to your weird, possibly methamphetamine addicted public to sell your kind-of-okay-but-not-really records. And they are mostly, weirdly, women, despite your “Gays Only!” policy.

So here’s the moral: don’t bite the methamphetamine-addicted hand that feeds you, because that hand will die young and toothless and stop paying for your records (because they’re dead), and then you won’t get fed.

Video after the jump.

(Editor’s note: I have no idea how the video relates to this story, but I admit Lady Gaga ignorance and love Sarah and do not question her wisdom, especially after she handed us a moral like the one above.  I am sure she knows how this fits, and I didn’t want to hold things up. Additionally, I love Tom Tom Club and the Talking Heads, so I feel any excuse to listen is a good excuse.  I now return you to your regularly scheduled story.)


Edito’s Note: Sarah just sent me the video link she intended for this story.  It makes more sense, but we got to revisit some good music, so it was all worth it, and I’m leaving the Tom Tom Club link.  So thanks Sarah!

Here’s the real video:


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August 5, 2009 - Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Culture Critic, Sarah's Vagina Wants to Throw Stuff | , , ,

22 Comments »

  1. Wait, I feel like I missed half of this story…what happened?

    And yes, Squee to the Tom Tom Club…but…what?

    Comment by TheHobo | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  2. Yeah, the latest controversy that I heard about Gaga is that she’s a hermaphrodite. (Seriously, Bing it.)

    Did the wrong link get forwarded, perhaps? Or did Gaga cover this song and I don’t know about it? (Entirely possible, as the only Gaga song that I know is that “let’s dance…badabeeebada” song)

    Comment by SeaKat | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  3. Lady Gaga was quoted as saying she was not a feminist. I should have put the title in quotes. Sorry folks!

    Comment by Lily the Pink | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  4. I LIKE HER.

    Comment by chelsea | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  5. hahaha, seakat. did you honestly just say “bing it?”

    i can’t hear “bing” without thinking “chanandler bong.”

    Comment by DonnaMartin | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  6. i don’t see what the big whoop with lady gaga is. she’s like britney and christina and every other blonde dancing popstar rolled into one package.

    in fact, one of her videos is a direct rip off of britney’s toxic video.

    lame.

    Comment by DonnaMartin | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  7. DM, I drank the Kool-Aid! I’m a Bing-er!
    (I also get 95% of my income from a certain, large software company in the Seattle area…so it’s in my best interests to promote their best interests. I’m a search engine whoo-wah. )

    Comment by SeaKat | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  8. I don’t know what I like about her but I do (POKER FACE)

    Comment by chelsea | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  9. CHRISTINA HAS TALENT, a range that no one can match

    Comment by chelsea | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  10. i agree with you that christina has talent. just wish she’d stop painting on her make up and tanning herself to an orange crisp. she looks fucking ridiculous.

    Comment by DonnaMartin | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  11. i had something to say and i forgot…. OH! I’m yet to meet a gay who likes Lady Gaga…. I had “Poker Face” as my main gay’s ring tone and he flipped out on me and made me change it. If I recall correctly he threw one of his Louis Vuitton dress sneakers at me. It may have been a Prada dress sneaker.

    Comment by Mae | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  12. The name LADY GAGA help her fame I’m sure. You hear once and it sticks

    Comment by chelsea | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  13. Mommy, what’s a disco stick?

    Comment by ManBearPig | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  14. Looks like I got some ‘splainin to do, for those of you who are justifiably thinking “um, what?” I wrote this late last night while I was busy not sleeping because our HVAC shit the bed and it has been exactly one thousand degrees in our house. I accidentally sent it on to Submissions with the wrong link attached, but, uh, who DOESN’T love The Tom Tom Club, M I RITE? Anyways. This whole story was kind of dependent on the video of Lady Ga-Ga talking about how she’s not a feminist because she loves men, and my wanting to point out that she’s an uber-doosh for her obviously VAST misunderstanding of feminism plus that she really should shut her stupid pie hole. Hope that clears things up. Now I’m off to go stab myself in the eye.

    Comment by Sarah | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  15. Lady Who? God, I feel old. I enjoyed the Tina Weymouth vid, though.

    Comment by RegularStormy | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  16. Hey, NO WORRIES, Sarah – this shiz happens to us all! And we got some bonus Tom Tom club…so it’s alllll good. Good luck staying cool – A/C is a gift from the Gods.

    Comment by SeaKat | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  17. The 2nd video reminds me of a Martin Short character — the chain-smoking corporate lawyer. He fends off difficult questions from journalists by saying to the rest of us, “It’s not me, it’s him, right? It’s him!” and “I don’t know what you are talking about!”

    Comment by WhoMee | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  18. I always try to educate the youngins about the meaning of feminism when I have a chance. I can’t believe how many young women and men think that feminism = being a lesbian or hating men. The media has done a real snowjob on them. I remember it was in the mid to late 80s when the term neo-nazi feminists was created and for some reason I remember it being discussed on Phil Donahue a lot.

    Also, I thought Lady GaGa was like in her 30s or something. Man, was I so wrong about that.

    DonnaMartin – She used to write music for Britney Spears, that may be why her music sounds similar to Britney’s. Also, I love the “bing” and “chandler bong” reference. I was thinking the same thing.

    Comment by rumoUr | August 6, 2009 | Reply

  19. is she retarded? or high? I bet she has visions. oh my god.

    Comment by Lea | August 7, 2009 | Reply

  20. I like men and muscle cars too. I also think women should get paid the same as men, and have rights regarding their bodies and not be treated as property as they are in many other places around the world.
    She should read or something.

    Comment by Lea | August 7, 2009 | Reply

  21. I have to say, I understand where she’s coming from, I think, because I think maybe she didn’t mean what she said how she said it. 😀 I should say first that I think Sarah’s right and that true meaning of feminism does come down to the things she mentioned, but many of the more militant factions have been confusing pro-woman with anti-male, so loudly and for so long that the term has become associated with them. And I think what she means is that she isn’t that…or maybe she’s just an idiot and I’m projecting. 🙂

    I used to be active in NOW–very active–and ultimately I left because their agenda became less and less about equality, and while I still hold very similar values to them and other second-wave feminist groups, we start differing when when they get militantly gynocentric. I think equality is exactly that. I don’t think the best man for a job is a woman. I think the best person for the job is the best person and that whoever he or she is should be compensated based on their abilities. So,when the NOW chapter I was involved in started giving shit to a female politician we helped get elected because she chose the best people to staff her office rather than hiring all women, I decided it was time to go. TMIMO, hiring because someone is female is just as discriminatory as not hiring her for the same reason. Personally, I’d be pissed if I found out I got a job because I was female because that belittles my abilities just as much.

    When this turned into a rant, I don’t know. 😀 Anyway, after that squabble I left and started including myself more in “post-feminism” because I felt like the gynocentric misandrists were taking over the term and found more like minded people there, but now I just consider myself female, and think of everyone as equal until they prove themselves otherwise. 🙂

    I should also say that I am incredibly grateful to NOW and all feminist groups that have shouted at politicians and demanded women be treated as people instead of property, and I’m not belittling anything they have accomplished, because I know the debt we owe them. I’m just saying we differ on certain issues that are very central to my values.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | August 8, 2009 | Reply

  22. Sarah was just multi-tasking. 🙂

    Comment by bedbugs and ballyhoo | August 8, 2009 | Reply


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