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American Drivers: Insisting on Embarrassing the Entire Northern Continent

Lookout, Josephine! Anozer crazy American who doesn’t understand ze metric system!

canada-speed-limit-signHey, Travelin’ Americans! Metric system got ya down? Well, maybe you should find out about it before you travel. TO ANYWHERE. This Californian went North to Canada and was TOLD by a highway sign that he could go ONE HUNDRED MILES PER HOUR! Or so he thought, because he had never heard of the metric system, which almost EVERY country other than our own uses–INCLUDING THE NORTHERN ONE THAT IS CONNECTED TO US.

Okay look, I know I’m an American, and that automatically makes me a doosh to every other country in the world, including our North American sister, Canada. HOWEVER, I have personally been to Canada several times and driven along their shining roads WITHOUT getting stopped for speeding, despite not being able to personally translate the Metric System (math, GAH), but I figured out pretty quickly that when the road sign in front of me read “100” that it couldn’t POSSIBLY mean 100 miles per hour. COME ON! So what, you got confused? You saw a sign that said “100” and decided you were on the Autobahn? It’s CANADA, not Germany! And besides, I don’t even know if they let you go that fast on the Autobahn anymore! (I’ll let YOU Google if you’re interested, because, well, I don’t feel like it. I’m an American.)

The moral of this story is, DON’T BE ASSHOLES WHEN YOU TRAVEL, AMERICANS. Like we need any more “Look at ze douchebags! Zey’re so stupeed!” publicity.


August 4, 2009 - Posted by | News You May or May Not Use | , , ,


  1. Oh damn that’s stupid. My sister and I used to drive to Canada back when we were 18 (to shop in Chinatown and drink, duh) and even stupid 18 year olds knew about the metric system. Geez.

    Comment by Chelsea - PETA Protector | August 4, 2009 | Reply

  2. But hey, we have this reputation to keep up, you know? Its important. Without it, we may lose our national identity man. Sheesh. How Un-American.

    Comment by Beth the Cat | August 4, 2009 | Reply

  3. Did he not notice that there is a KPH scale on the speedometer also?

    Comment by RegularStormy | August 4, 2009 | Reply

  4. RS, that’s what I was thinking!

    Comment by baby fish mouth | August 4, 2009 | Reply

  5. they do let you go that fast on the autobahn. a honda civic can get up to 120 mph if ya drop da flo’ out da shizzle. i know these things 🙂

    Comment by lava | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  6. shit, you can get up to 140 on i-75… so long as no cops are around…. *looks around innocently*

    and they call i-275 the Michigan Autobahn because people always be doing like 95 – 120.

    Comment by Mae | August 5, 2009 | Reply

  7. Sarah you`re like an embassador…embassador snake eyes.

    Comment by rumoUr | August 6, 2009 | Reply

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