uncollectedminds

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But What I Really Want to Do is Direct

CrapChop

t35896e4u2oHey, remember having your eyeballs peed in because of the commercial for this movie that always ran back-to-back with the “Girls Gone Wild” ads a few years ago? Well, I know what you’re thinking, “That movie looked like a chunk of shit and that’s all I need to know about it thankyouverymuch.” Well, I’m here to tell you that YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT THAT, MY FRIENDS. Because guess who wrote AND directed that chunk of shit movie? Vince Offer, AKA Vince Shlomi, AKA THE SHAMWOW GUY, AKA That Guy Who Beat Up The Hooker Who Tried To Eat His Tongue.

shlomiAccording to Offer’s Wiki page, despite his Shamwow and Slap Chop successes, he claims he is NOT pitchman, but instead considers himself to be a “writer, director and comedian” and “in the film business.” The New York Post called Shlomi’s movie “the least amusing comedy ever made.” Yeah, THE POST. So you KNOW this thing is one hot, steaming flyblown pile of awful. Shlomi also tried to sue Anna Nicole Smith for breach of contract when she backed out of the project BECAUSE SHE WAS WORRIED IT WOULD HURT HER CAREER, further adding to the obviousness of its terribleness.

And speaking of suing peeps, Suey McSlapChop also tried to sue the Farrelly Brothers and Twentieth Century Fox for copyright infringement, claiming that fourteen scenes in “There’s Something About Mary” were ripped from “The Underground Comedy Movie.” The case was dismissed with prejudice on a motion for summary judgment by order of the court, and Twentieth Century Fox was awarded $66,336.92 in attorney’s fees. OH! Also, he sued the Church of Scientology (he’s an ex-Scientologist) for some shit that bored me, so I stopped reading about it.

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August 3, 2009 - Posted by | News You May or May Not Use | , , , ,

6 Comments »

  1. I don’t know what that movie is about, but it makes me sad that it exists.

    Comment by TheHobo | August 3, 2009 | Reply

  2. The title is a byline, so what’s the actual title?

    Comment by WhoMee | August 3, 2009 | Reply

  3. Sounds like something I would watch just to point and laugh.

    Comment by RegularStormy | August 3, 2009 | Reply

  4. hahahaha. that last line was hysterical, sarah.

    Comment by DonnaMartin | August 3, 2009 | Reply

  5. I agree with DM, hilarious!

    I think I might have actually seen this movie while drunk once, and I think I didn’t even like it then, which is saying something–I liked the movie A Knight’s Tale when I saw it drunk. Yes, the (awful) jousting movie with the rock soundtrack…I feel dirty.

    Comment by jables | August 18, 2009 | Reply

  6. jables i feel your pain.

    no like i actually feel your pain. are you still hung over from it? i’m gonna take some happy pills for you.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | August 18, 2009 | Reply


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