uncollectedminds

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Eddie Izzard Has Lost His Damn Mind

We love you Eddie, but your balls are going to fall off

Eddie-Iz-RunningEddie Izzard is a charitably minded man (one of the many reasons he’s been a Bale), and he enjoys setting challenges for himself to raise awareness and money for charity, but this time he may have gone too far–about 1,100 miles too far. This time Eddie came up with an idea called “Eddie Iz Running” that involves him attempting to run 1,100 miles in seven weeks for the charity Sport Relief UK. So now he’s off and will be running through England, Wales, Ireland and Scotland, carrying the flag of each respective country as he travels through it.

The problem is, he isn’t a runner, which means he is possibly insane. He only began training for this a month ago, and 1,100 miles in seven weeks requires him to run 30 miles a day–more than a marathon. Granted, the last time I ran I was being chased by dogs, so I may be jumping to conclusions. In order to avoid making any false assumptions about Eddie’s mental health,  I decided to get the opinion of our resident marathon finisher, Bedbugs and Ballyhoo (which I did), and her “virtually a professional” opinion confirms my suspicions that he is, in fact, crazy.

Ms. Ballyhoo also brought forth the whole testicular angle of this subject. It never occurred to me that running 1,000+ miles in 49 days would be hellacious torture for the old bean bag, but this is why we consult our experts. Of course, as an expert she stated things more delicately, and only said he was going to chafe and possibly end up celibate for months, but I’m assuming that’s cautious understatement, and that his two veg will drop completely off by mile 427.

Insanity aside (or possibly included), we still love Eddie, so here’s wishing him all the best.  May he fulfill his goal without frappéing his berries.

If you want to donate to support Eddie’s efforts, you can do so through the Comic Relief-Sport Relief site. If you want to track his journey he’ll be tweeting as he goes, so you can follow Eddie on Twitter. If you want to bet on what mile his fruit will fall from the tree, British bookmakers will give you odds on most anything.

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July 30, 2009 - Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, News You May or May Not Use | , , ,

19 Comments »

  1. BBB – don’t they have underwear for runners that prevent or lessen that from happening (along the same lines as those jerseys that prevent your nips from chafing)?

    Comment by blah | July 30, 2009 | Reply

  2. They have all kinds of things to help. Special underwear, salves, etc. My husband has run 13 marathons (several of them with a sub-3 hour time, which is pretty good) so I’ve been far more privy to the special needs of male runners than I ever imagined.

    My husband has all of the gear, but still finished the Portland Marathon a few years back with blood stains down the front of his running tank from his nipples bleeding.

    ::flinches::

    Comment by SeaKat | July 30, 2009 | Reply

  3. Ciao!

    Comment by Cait | July 30, 2009 | Reply

  4. OUCH SeaKat!!

    Comment by payter | July 30, 2009 | Reply

  5. Blah, they do make special undies and body glide,™ but I don’t think that will get him through 1100 miles.
    My brother-in-law is an avid runner and did some crazy consecutive distance runs. On about the 3rd or 4th day, he could hardly walk. He said the bad part is that you don’t really feel the pain until you stop running. And then the damage is done.

    Comment by bedbugs and ballyhoo | July 30, 2009 | Reply

  6. Wow, I had no idea the manbag could be in jeopardy from a long run.

    Comment by WhoMee | July 30, 2009 | Reply

  7. My dad is also a marathoner so like many of you who have already commented, this is serious insanity and yes, the human body is going to undergo some serious chaffing.

    What gets me is the idea that he’s going to be running along with his Blackberry “Tweeting” the whole time? HA! Yeah, that’s what my dad always wants to do after 3-4 hours of running is some social networking. And yeah, for an old man he’s still pretty fast, that will likely translate into 6-8 hours for the izz.

    Comment by Rev. Random | July 30, 2009 | Reply

  8. Also, is he going to do all these miles in those crazy high heels he’s always prancing about in? That would be even better.

    Comment by Rev. Random | July 30, 2009 | Reply

  9. SeaKat, your husband is just not human if he can run that fast. Take a magnet off the fridge and see if it sticks to him – he may be a cyborg. I’m just sayin’….

    Comment by blah | July 30, 2009 | Reply

  10. I ran one marathon and one marathon only. Shortly after boot camp, in the mojave desert where I was stationed at. They had the audacity to call it the sun fun run. It was 115 degrees at 11 in the morning when I finished it. and by the way, it was 75 degrees at 6 am when I started it. 26.2 miles was NO JOKE! and this guy is talking about 11 hundred miles? I was limping for a week after that marathon. I don’t see him breathing after mile 100.

    Comment by drgnsldr | July 31, 2009 | Reply

  11. I’m tracking his progress on twitter. He’s made it through 4 days so far, currently running his 5th, and his feet are, as he says “having a bad time.” http://twitpic.com/c63lv

    After all the feedback here and watching him, I’m pretty sure I will stick to running only when chased. I was a swimmer, and the worst I ever got was wrinkly fingers and dry hair.

    Comment by Lily the Pink | July 31, 2009 | Reply

  12. I just looked at the picture. At least he hasn’t lost any toenails… yet. That’s another side effect of distance running.
    Why do I do this, again?

    Comment by bedbugs and ballyhoo | July 31, 2009 | Reply

  13. bbb, oh, the toenails!! My husband’s feet are so gnarly, I can’t even TELL you.

    blah, Mr. SeaKat laughed when I told him I was supposed to test him with a magnet. Then he said “thank you.” 🙂

    I can’t even imagine doing what Eddie Izzard is doing. I’ve been running/jogging/walking for a month now and I’m only up to 1.5 miles! He crazy.

    Comment by SeaKat | July 31, 2009 | Reply

  14. I like to run, but I only like to run after I’ve been running for about a month or two. I also want/need to run with someone if I’m going to keep doing it. I need company, motivation and someone to hold my ass accountable to keep at it. Normally, I’ll only run what I have to in order to pass my semi-annual fitness test.

    Comment by blah | July 31, 2009 | Reply

  15. I feel the same way, blah. It has JUST started getting tolerable/rewarding.

    I’ve found that bringing an mp3 player with upbeat music has helped immesurably. It also helps me keep my pace somewhat steady.

    Comment by SeaKat | July 31, 2009 | Reply

  16. SeaKat,
    Alas, I have never had a pedicure. My daughter had a camp function I attended yesterday. All the other Moms had these beautifully pedicured feet. I had mine covered.

    Comment by bedbugs and ballyhoo | July 31, 2009 | Reply

  17. I can’t bear the thought of a pedicure! I had one ONE TIME and will never do it again. I get crazy freaked out when people touch my feet. I can’t imagine volunteering for that torture.

    Comment by blah | July 31, 2009 | Reply

  18. I just saw a pic of his feet that he posted on Twitter. They pretty much look like hamburger covered in mole-skin bandages. He just finished his fifth marathon in as many days about an hour ago. Crazy!

    Comment by blah | July 31, 2009 | Reply

  19. Happy to report as of Aug. 20 Eddie has completed 22 marathons with nuts intact (as far as we know) tiny toe nail has been the only thing to drop off… isn’t that amazing!

    Comment by claywoman | August 20, 2009 | Reply


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