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Jon and His Ego Minus 8

Where are your kids, Jon? ts-jon-gosselin-fashion

I was hoping that the celebrity massacre which Cait and NFL Guy wrought upon the world by going on their honeymoon would be enough to remove Jon and Kate Gosselin from the public consciousness FO-EVAH.  Silly me.  Seems everything Jon does gets reported.  He broke up with his wife.  He broke up with his girlfriend.  He broke up with his nanny.

My question is this:  Jon, did you break up with your kids too?  Because for all the talk about your girlfriends and hair plugs and new Ed Hardy outfits, I’ve yet to hear a peep about what it is you’re doing for your damn kids right now.

Jon, any man can be a celebrity dooshbag.  Not every man can do the right thing and take care of the 8 fruits of his loins!  And if you are spending time and caring for your kids, rather than running around acting like a dipshit, if I were you, every time a tabloid asks me a question about anything, I would make sure to say “Hey, want to hear about how much time I’m spending with my kids?  You know, when I’m not diddling the nanny?”

Also, lose the Ed Hardy gear.  It’s not helping.

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July 27, 2009 - Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Culture Critic, Doosh Watch 2009 | , , , , , ,

8 Comments »

  1. Nothing says midlife crisis like a guy with hair plugs that’s dating a *reformed* party girl whilst wearing crappy Ed Hardy clothes. Yeah, the backwards ballcap and earring aren’t helping matters.

    Comment by blah | July 27, 2009 | Reply

  2. that shirt really brings out his beady little eyes and red face.

    Comment by maria | July 27, 2009 | Reply

  3. Moral of the story: Money can’t buy happines, but it can buy douchiness.

    Comment by Cristal Methodd | July 27, 2009 | Reply

  4. and the earring… oh lord the earring.

    I just want to take this time to thank my parents. Thank you to my mother who, not only saved me from a legacy of horrifying photos by not allowing me to dye my hair blue, but also for keeping her hair cut the same length on all sides. Thank you Dad for not piercing anything and for not being caught dead in clothing favored by Brett Michaels. There are no heinous haircuts or faggy t-shirts for them, oh no, just regular hairstyles and innocuous, decent looking, age-appropriate clothing. I love you guys.

    Comment by oilybohunk7 | July 27, 2009 | Reply

  5. Yeah, she was probably a bitch to him, but it kills me that he gets to have a kids free midlife crisis while she’s stuck with the kids. Also, her dating odds are way worse than his. Which just sucks.

    Men with 8 kids–no problem. Women with 8 kids…if you’re not Angelina, good luck.

    Comment by TheHobo | July 27, 2009 | Reply

  6. He has managed to destroy all of the goodwill that people felt towards him in an unbelieveably short time. Seriously, it’s like he was trying to break some kind of record.

    Comment by SeaKat | July 27, 2009 | Reply

  7. Jon Gosselin says:
    “Lose the Ed Hardy Gear? Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chins. I learned that rad line from a book I once read to my kids.”

    Comment by ellisbell | July 28, 2009 | Reply

  8. hahaha nice ellisbell

    Comment by baby fish mouth | July 28, 2009 | Reply


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