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What Would Jebus Do?

Lauren Conrad’s not a Playboy fan

Cat and Cattier

Cat and Cattier

Don’t hold you breath for Lauren Conrad to follow in the footsteps of her former BFF and show her hills in the pages of Playboy. Conrad told Harper’s Bazaar , “I just don’t have any interest in showing my body in something like that. That’s a little personal.” When asked why she thinks Heidi is doing it, Lauren zinged, “They’re not going to pay for themselves.”

How much does a good boob job run in L.A.? Hell I’m surprised MTV didn’t foot the bill. Besides, Heidi in Playboy is going to be nothing we haven’t already seen. She will show a lot of skin but keep everything covered. It might as well be one of her staged “candid” beach shots.

In other news Spencer was going to pose for Playgirl but back out when he found out they pay by the inch, not the millimeter.


July 21, 2009 - Posted by | Culture Critic, News You May or May Not Use | , ,


  1. nice. my respect for LC just rose a little. considering, though, my respect for her was underground, it’s at about 50,000 ft. below sea level right now.

    Comment by DonnaMartin | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  2. I’m with you Donna, unless you consider she probably said NO because it would get MORE attention than following in Heidi’s footsteps. Then she thought, I’ll say no and make it for a moral reason – and then I’ll be like Heidi and her prayer warrior-ing.

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  3. seriously. all i know is that i follow heidi montag on twitter as a form of self-flagellation.


    ok wow. i probably shouldn’t modify “jesus” with “fucking.” but STILL.

    it’s like, hey heidi, Jesus called! Mary Magdalene wants her tits back…

    Comment by DonnaMartin | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  4. How does posing for Playboy fit into her alleged morality?

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  5. Jesus reads playboy for the articles.


    Comment by DonnaMartin | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  6. If you go with the trifecta theory that Jesus is God and God is the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit is everywhere…

    Then God IS Heidi’s tits. She’s just showing off God y’all!

    Comment by TheHobo | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  7. Pfft Jesus has already seen Heidi’s tits… he’s everywhere.. That is why I am a never nude.. to avoid Jesus’ prying eyes.

    Comment by silent noodles | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  8. are we talking about the Lord Jesus or the Poolboy Jesus?

    you gots a hot mexican pool boy, silent noodles?

    and do you go by “heidi” after hours?

    and are you referring to yourself in the third person?

    jus’ askin’…

    Comment by DonnaMartin | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  9. I feel like I should weigh in here but ethical questions about whether or not to show your tits in Playboy wasn’t covered in my feminist theology classes and Heidi’s relationship with Jesus is something God has repeatedly rolled her eyes at saying: “I told that boy to stop runnin’ around with that tramp, but does he listen? He’s all “but everyone needs saving”…Boy, don’t make me come down there!”

    God and I sit on the porch and drink “lemonade” on hot summer days. I keep telling her to go online and post some comments on Thundersquee! but she doesn’t like to use the computer “it’s all just porn and celebrities anyway.”

    Comment by Rev. Random | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  10. that’s it.

    can rev. random be the people’s republic of thundersquee!’s official minister?


    Comment by DonnaMartin | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  11. Bless you DonnaMartin, while I’m professionally required to love everybody; today I love YOU the most.

    But as long as we’re in imaginary worlds here, why stop at just minister? I wanna be at least a Bishop…Pope? Popette? What’s the female version of Pope when they won’t even let us be priests?

    Comment by Rev. Random | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  12. High Priestess, maybe? Although, that kind of sounds like you should be able to cast spells. Or maybe a female pope is a mome, hmmm…

    Comment by Lily the Pink | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  13. I am officially converting to Rev. Random’s religion.

    Comment by SeaKat | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  14. I’m officially ordained in the United Church of Christ although I really only use my title when signing Pro-Choice petitions and such. But heck, with this kind of response I’m considering quitting my day job and starting a cult!

    It’s what Jesus would do.

    Comment by Rev. Random | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  15. LMAO Rev. That is exactly what Jesus did! Although I think he took a significant pay cut, but his new job did come with a few perks: turning water into wine, providing reasonably priced and very effective healthcare including rehabilitation services. As a business major, I can honestly say Jesus was an entrepeneur. Even a profitable one by spiritual standards.

    I admit I was hesitant to respond to this post being an atheist, but the story of Jesus is the one part of christianity I do like.

    Comment by drgnsldr | July 21, 2009 | Reply

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