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Best in Squee!

ts_big_fistWe here at Thundersquee! love our commenters. We love them so much that we’d sneak out to the parking lot behind the bleachers and make out with them in the back seat of their bitchin’ Camaro. But Thundersquee! is classy, so there will be no heavy petting. Instead, Thundersquee! will highlight the most squee!-worthy comments in a weekly column aptly titled Best in Squee!

And the award goes to…


The Next Simon Cowell?: rl

Anything involving Piers Morgan is probably not worth the effort.
I’d pay to see that man fisted by a wookiee. Not much else though.


Yes, but they have to be fully vetted: Run-DMS

Does he have a presidential Vito? I mean an Italian-American dog walker, of course.


Quick, get us Richardson’s number: shu_shu

On a serious note, we have Laura Ling & Euna Lee–respected, ambitious, educated journalists–thrown into a N.Korean labor camp for questionable violation of the law.

Surely we can broker some sort of exchange here. The US of A surrenders Paris Hilton & Perez Hilton to the N. Korean authorities, in exchange for the release of Ling & Lee.

Someone call Bill Richardson. I think I’m onto something…


In a world where Perez Hilton can become a pseudo-celebrity, one woman dares to dream: Roxydarling

I have this vision of a future where Perez Hilton finally self destructs and ends up atop a bell tower with an AK-47, spewing epithets at the SWAT team who come to check out the situation. He is then shot by one of their marksmen after belittling that person’s wardrobe, secksual practices, and alleged ancestry. The shooter will face no penalties after they claim that they acted in self-defense and feared that they were about to themselves be a hate-crime victim. Hilton’s history of misogyny and dooshness is used to verify this fear.

While I’m not sure what it would take to make him finally lose it, it is obvious that he can’t really take what he dishes out, or understand the reality that words have consequences sometimes. Therefor, I see his breakdown as a predetermined event.


More cushion for the fishin’: XENU

I’d choose the three pound ball, because when I go fishing it would be nice to sit on something soft.


Funny, sad, most likely true: rumoUr

I think Rush would be okay with the drinking because you are supporting the liquor industry and not doing some extreme sport like walking which could cause you to sprain your ankle and really tax the healthcare system.


Don’t knock angry, masturbatory remote-buttseckshuals until you’ve tried it: SeaKat

“I know when I’m mad sticking a remote up my ass never crosses my mind.”

I agree. Doing it when you’re mad kind of cheapens the special “me time” aspect of remote buttsecks.

(Editor’s note: Have you ever typed something then realized it’s a sentence you never would have anticipated typing, even if you had several decades to contemplate the things you were likely to type in your lifetime?  That was just one of those moments for me. I’m betting the above was for SeaKat, too.)


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June 29, 2009 - Posted by | Best in Squee! | ,

10 Comments »

  1. Hahah! Congrats, you guys!!

    And, yes, I find that many, many things that I type in the comments are high on my “Wow. Never woulda thunk I’d be writing this!” list!!!

    ThunderSquee: Liberating Hags and Hogs from Preconceived Notions Since Its Inception!

    Viva Le Bale!!

    Comment by SeaKat | June 29, 2009 | Reply

  2. SaeKat: That’s going on a t-shirt!

    Comment by Lily the Pink | June 29, 2009 | Reply

  3. Or a CHOCOLATE BRICK!!

    (maybe in tiny type. Or just a BIG choco-brick!)

    AND, I love that I can edit out the typo – hopefully before the Tshirts are printed or the choco-bricks are poured… 😛

    Comment by SeaKat | June 29, 2009 | Reply

  4. Viva le Bale, indeed!!

    Comment by DonnaMartin | June 29, 2009 | Reply

  5. For those of you who are grammar pedants, like me, I would like to note that I struggled with determining the correct pronoun to use in conjunction with “remote-buttseckshuals.” Ultimately I decided “remote-buttseckshuals” was actually a contraction of “THE remote-buttseckshuals,” and therefore singular.

    That is all.

    Comment by Lily the Pink | June 29, 2009 | Reply

  6. Aw shucks! With all the hilarity last week, I feel honored to have made the cut. 🙂

    Comment by shu_shu | June 29, 2009 | Reply

  7. those were great. hahaha!

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | June 30, 2009 | Reply

  8. LOL…Lily, I thank you for the grammar explanation. I think that should get a “Best in Squee” next week.

    Congrats to ALL!

    And merci beaucoup for my award. I’d like to thank Rush Limbaugh for saying the most ludicrous things. He makes my job easy.

    P.S. When I originally wrote my comment, I had typed “mots ludicrous”. I kind of like that. Made me feel French.

    Comment by rumoUr | June 30, 2009 | Reply

  9. Or a big fan of applesauce, rumoUr.

    motts.com

    Comment by SeaKat | June 30, 2009 | Reply

  10. LOL…nope not a fan of le sauce du pomme. 🙂 What is french for “sauce?” I’m too lazy to go look it up.

    Comment by rumoUr | June 30, 2009 | Reply


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