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Billy Mays Goes Kaboom!

and kaput

billy-maysTelevision huckster Billy Mays,  known for his for his ability to hawk a product in tones that were still audible after you’d hit the mute button, was found dead in his home today at age 50.  Cause of Death has yet to be determined.

I think the most fitting TS! tribute to Mr. Mays is Squeer! comments that reference him.  It’s a great example of what a pervasive presence he was within our culture.


doodledood:

Billy Mays here with an amazing deal for all your construction and sexual needs. It’s perfect for wood working, carpentry, cutting timber, sensual massage of sensitive lady parts and so much more.


Chelsea – PETA Protector:

That’s amazing. And I’m fairly positive that Billy Mays is like our generation’s Ben Franklin. Fuck spectacles–this dude gave us Oxi Clean.


Then there was this conversation that took place among rl, SeaKat and oneofthevoicesinmyhead while critiquing a Carl’s Jr. commercial that involved Padma Lakshmi enjoying a burger just a tad too much.

rl: It’s odd, this way it lacks imagination but if it were… say, Billy Mays, it’d be practically art…or is that just me?

ootvimh: rl, are you saying you’d like to see Billy Mays fellate a hamburger? Because that’s what it sounds like.

rl: ootvimh, he wouldn’t just fellate it though, he’d fellate it while yelling about its features.

HI BILLY MAYS HERE MMMPHMPPMPHURGLE «splat», «lick» IT’S GREASY, IT’S JUICY, AND I CAN TAKE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE BA.. GURGLEGURGLEGAGHAWK… CK.

And if the whole point of advertising is to grab your attention and make you remember a brand, I can say with absolute truth that Billy Mays deep throating most of a pound of greasy cow and pseudo-cheese is something I could never forget, no matter how hard I tried. Even the mental image is going to be with me for a while, now.

SeaKat: Generally, with advertising, the goal is to leave a *positive* impression.

Billy Mays throat-polishing a beef patty? Rule 34 suggests there would be a market who would consider this a positive impression. Might be a small demographic, though.

You will be missed, Billy.

P.S. Cait, you need to hurry up and come home.

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June 28, 2009 - Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Daily Whims | ,

2 Comments »

  1. Wow.

    Yeah, I’m starting to think the Cait and NFL Guy actually DO have some kind of calming influence in the celebrity world.

    Did any Italian celebs die while they were there? If not, then methinks we have an interesting hypothesis to test…

    Comment by SeaKat | June 28, 2009 | Reply

  2. I think it’s clear that the only person qualified to eulogize Billy Mays would be Brian Blessed. Someone start a petition.

    Comment by rl | June 28, 2009 | Reply


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