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DOOSH WATCH 2009: Perez Hilton

Canada Perez Hilton PunchedIs “Faggot” the New “Nigga”?

As most of y’all know by now, Perez got cold-cocked by Black Eyed Peas manager, Polo.  Seems as if Perez was running his mouth and talking shit about the Black Eyed Peas on his blog, so there was a big confrontation between Perez and the Peas on Sunday, during which Perez, once again, rotted out what amounts to a “So’s your mom!” counterattack:  “You’re not a fucking artist … you’re a fucking faggot.”

Perez was then all “To the YouTubes!” and posted some sanctimonious cry baby bullshit about how he was assaulted (I can’t be bothered to even post the 13 minute rant; the fine folks at HuffPo comedy have distilled it to a two minute hilarious video which you can view here.)

It’s quite an amazing thing, really–watching this idiot cry and blubber about “how violence is never the answer” after he done called Fergie an “ugly bitch” and called Will.I.Am a “fucking faggot.”  You can’t talk shit and then cry foul when you meet the business end of somebody’s fist.  As the rules clearly state, if you talk shit, YOU MIGHT GET KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT.

Well GLAAD (the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) has demanded that Perez apologize:

“We have reached out to Hilton and asked him to apologize for promoting this anti-gay slur, and we would ask media outlets to avoid repetition of the slur in their coverage of this story.

For someone in our own community to use it to attack another person by saying that it is, quote, ‘The worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear,’ is incredibly dangerous.

It legitimizes use of a slur that is often linked to violence against our community. And it sends a message that it is OK to attempt to dehumanize people by exploiting anti-gay attitudes.”

Perez’s response?  Not only is he refusing to apologize, he also is whining that GLAAD is victimizing him:

“I am saddened GLAAD chose to victimize me further by criticizing me for how I non-violently dealt with a very scary situation that, unfortunately, turned violent. While I doubt I will get an apology from GLAAD, nor do I expect one, I would just hope people know how difficult it is to intellectualize a situation and think rationally when a thug disguised as a musician is screaming at your face and intimidating you. I am just very fortunate and grateful that nothing more serious happened to me.”

I’m all for civil disobedience, and non-violence and whatnot, but I bet when Martin Luther King, Jr. marched on Washington, he didn’t call white folks a bunch of faggots.

Which brings me to my next query: Is “faggot” the new “nigga”?  Is it OK for gay folks to use the word “faggot” the way some argue that it’s OK for black folks to use the word “nigga”?  Is Perez trying to help the gay community reclaim the slur, “faggot”?  Is he bringing faggot back?

Of course not.  He’s just a doosh.


June 25, 2009 - Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Culture Critic, Doosh Watch 2009 | , , , , , , , , ,


  1. I despise this dirty doosh water tool… it couldn’t have happened to a more deserving person.

    Comment by XENU | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  2. I have this vision of a future where Perez Hilton finally self destructs and ends up atop a bell tower with an AK-47, spewing epithets at the SWAT team who come to check out the situation. He is then shot by one of their marksmen after belittling that person’s wardrobe, secksual practices, and alleged ancestry. The shooter will face no penalties after they claim that they acted in self-defense and feared that they were about to themselves be a hate-crime victim. Hilton’s history of misogyny and dooshness is used to verify this fear.
    While I’m not sure what it would take to make him finally lose it, it is obvious that he can’t really take what he dishes out, or understand the reality that words have consequences sometimes. Therefor, I see his breakdown as a predetermined event.

    Comment by Roxydarling | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  3. The fabulous Whitney posted a link to this article that equates the “Hilton deserved it” responses with victim blaming (excerpt: “The logic that it falls on the victim to prevent irrational actions of the assailant is really outdated and really, really dangerous.”): http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/thehumancondition/archive/2009/06/23/john-mayer-perez-hilton-and-the-politics-of-victim-blaming.aspx

    It raises some interesting points. Not the least of which is that Hilton is a “churlish gadfly”. Highbrow burn!

    Comment by Stay, see? | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  4. Roxy, throw in a roommate who gets automatic A’s for the semester, and you’ve got yourself a movie.

    Comment by Sar | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  5. Is he really a victim? I think not. Is he a bag of doosh? Yep.

    Comment by TT2 | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  6. stay,see?- that’s an interesting article. i was unaware of the twitter war between mayer and hilton. and while i see the author’s point, i find that the absurdity lies in hilton screaming profanities about two people–obscene misogynistic and hateful language, getting punched, and then going on the youtubes and continuing to use the language that got him knocked out in the first place. i’m pretty sure if someone said that stuff about me to my face, i wouldn’t mind if someone i was close to clocked that person.

    i take issue with likening hilton to a victim of domestic abuse or gay bashing (Rihanna or Sheppard)–it cheapens those victims status as victims, TMIMO. seems to me that both those instances involve an imbalance of power… between men and women, between gays and straights. this was a straight up bar fight, TMIMO.

    “This tired line of thinking keeps women with abusers (because if she just avoided certain subjects…), makes it ok to beat up gay men who have the temerity to walk down a crowded street in the wrong side of town (because really, what did he expect?) and subtly endorses sociopaths who think it’s their life’s work to beat some sense into people who don’t fit a cultural norm. It’s Rhianna, it’s Matthew Sheppard, it’s Angie Zapata. It’s wrong.”

    i have to disagree.

    i agree that violence is wrong, but perez hilton is no rihanna or matthew sheppard. he was not locked in an abusive relationship with the black eyed peas, and simply said some shit that finally made the peas snap. he was not attacked for being a member of an oppressed minority. he didn’t get punched because he dared to walk down the street as a gay man. i don’t think this had anything to do with perez’s status as a gay man. it just had to do with the fact that he was running his mouth about fergie and then thought it was a good idea to call will.i.am a “thug” (hello, racist undertones) and a “fag.”

    perhaps i’m a hypocrite! 🙂

    Comment by stopthemadness | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  7. Actually, STM, I think you nailed it.

    Oh, and I promise never to use your name and the verb “nail” within 50 feet of P. Hilton (either one) ever again :).

    Comment by Stay, see? | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  8. I’m just gonna have to add…yes, a punch in the face is an act of violence, but dude, it’s just a punch in the face. In a fight, where he could have punched back (as far as I know…barely following along here).

    I mean, if I was in a situation where I was about to throw down, where I was up in someone’s face screaming whatever at them, and she (we’ll keep the gender lines the same, for now) punched me, I’d be like, “bitch!” and try to punch her pack. Or, you know, stumble up from the floor and cry and hope one of my friends steps in before I got a beat down. Whatever. The point is, it would be a punch between, more or less, equals.

    And no, I don’t think girls who get raped are asking for it, that domestic abuse victims are asking for it, or that someone walking in the wrong neighborhood is asking for it.

    But I’m gonna go ahead and make two claims that seem anti-feminist: that there are times when someone is not, well, asking for it so much as creating a situation where getting punched in the face is a real possibility, and that therefore any resulting punch is at least in part a consequence of their actions AND that, well, they should have put up a block or hit back.

    Meh…I think I just said violence was okay. But like…I dunno. A punch is a punch. I have male friends who’ve fought it out, and my brother and cousin used to fight it out, and it’s not just a guy thing because I know some ladies who “get their brownies on” (put on gloves that will help protect their hands while fighting) because some bitch just called one of their girls out.

    Granted, I’ve never been punched, outside of an actual sparring situation, but he wasn’t punched by his lover, his family member, someone in a position of authority over him, someone who he is living in fear of, or someone who just called HIM a faggot. He was punched by a dude who was so enraged by what PH said, he took a swing. Dude later turned himself in.

    Yeah, yeah, no punching. But seriously, you can’t go around pushing people’s buttons like that and then just sit back and cry victim. You have to show respect to get respect.

    Meh. I think I’m just feeling violent today and trying to justify that.

    Comment by TheHobo | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  9. I think there’s a huge difference in victimizing someone in an abusive relationship, and popping someone who’s pushed you to your absolute limit then continued pushing. You have to be a clueless, emotional imbecile to not be able to tell when you’ve angered someone and that you should back off. So he is either an imbecile or kept pushing when he knew he shouldn’t…or both.

    Regarding Stay, see?’s link, verbal and emotional abuse are abuse, too, so by the author’s own logic, Perez abused people until they retaliated.

    Should people resort to violence? No, but all but the most devout of buddhist monks have their limits and can be pushed too far.

    Comment by Lily the Pink | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  10. thehobo- i think you just went straight gangsta on our asses.


    Comment by stopthemadness | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  11. It’s actually kind of funny to think that Perez and his arch-nemesis, Carrie Prejean, are going to end up hiding under the same “Free Speech” excuse. Unfortunately, neither understands that freedom TO speak doesn’t mean freedom FROM dealing with the results of your words.

    Stay, See? I agree, that article raised some interesting points. But after thinking about it, I had to reject that author’s thinking as flawed logic. Stating that Perez Hilton “should have been aware of the possible consequences of what he was doing” isn’t the same as saying “She deserved to get raped because her skirt was so short.” (Yes, folks, that’s really the comparison the author made.)

    First of all, I utterly reject the premise that a punch or two in the face (that didn’t even leave bruises!!) is comparable to rape.

    Secondly, this is not a guy minding his own business, who gets punched for what he looks like, what he’s wearing, or what social group he belongs to. Perez has made his career saying crude, vile things about people and when will.i.am, a band-mate of one of his *repeated* victims called Perez on his behavior, Perez called will.i.am “the most awful thing I could think of” (his words).

    For the author to bring up the spectres of Matthew Shepard and Angie Zapata (transgendered woman killed in CO.) is really *quite* shameful.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  12. Ok, Hobo and Lily must have posted while I was reading/writing – I pretty much just echoed their sentiments. Sorry for the redundancy. 😛

    (BTW…”get my brownies on” is (a) my favorite new phrase and (b) in my house, probably more likely to mean something about me, Betty Crocker and a midnight rendez-vous than Hobo’s actual meaning)

    Comment by SeaKat | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  13. Just to be clear, I fully agree with the responses to the article. I tried to edit my original comment (because I can, and that’s awesome) to what I meant to say, that the author raised some INTERESTING points. For some reason, I originally typed “great points”, probably because I was trying to comment while simultaneously eating these awesome cookies that my coworker made. I’m fairly sure I told her they were “interesting” cookies… I wonder if I can edit conversations?

    Anyhoo, ‘scuse the mis-type, and glad the article sparked some convo. I always love to hear the Squee POV!

    Comment by Stay, see? | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  14. Stay,See? – I didn’t think that you were advocating FOR that author’s position — she just had me thinking for a second “hmmm, am I WRONG to be gleeful that P. Hilton finally got his?”

    And then I got pissed at her for making her doubt myself.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  15. seakat- re perez’s freedom of speech weapon–are you ghostwriting my next post??


    stay,see?- Squee POV! awesome.

    Comment by stopthemadness | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  16. Another idea for the upcoming Squee clothing / bumper sticker / decorative brick line!

    Comment by Stay, see? | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  17. The Rhianna comparison really had me thinking for a few minutes. I think Hobo and STM’s (and maybe others) points about the imbalance of power between men and women is a good one.

    Also, re: the Rhianna comparison.

    Imagine if Rhianna had repeatedly belittled Chris Brown and those close to him from her blog. Or onstage. Or during a SuperBowl Half-Time performance. You know – called him impotent, made fun of the size of his dick, called him ugly, etc. And THEN they got into an argument, and she called him a vile name. And he hit her – once- and knocked her down but didn’t bruise her.

    How would we feel about it then?

    For myself, I’d think that she pretty much created the situation and was a dumbass. Which is exactly what I think about P. Hilton. Maybe that’s horrible of me, but they consider extenuating circumstances in court for a reason…

    Comment by SeaKat | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  18. Stay, See?: Yeah, I didn’t think you were advocating that POV. I just thought you meant it was thought provoking, and it is. Thanks for the link. Honestly, I felt a bit guilty about being happy someone punched him, even though my base state includes wanting to do so myself. The opposing argument actually ended up strengthening my opinion by making me think less emotionally about it. 🙂

    Besides, it’s always better to explore all sides of a debate, TMIMO.

    Comment by Lily the Pink | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  19. STM, I wish I had the talent to ghostwrite one of your posts!! I’m just tickled that I stumbled onto one of your topics – makes me feel smart! 😉

    Comment by SeaKat | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  20. seakat- it gets tricky with that example. for some reason a man hitting a woman still makes me feel icky. why is that? i mean, what if it were verne troyer hitting brigitte nielsen. that wouldn’t make me feel icky. yet, chris brown punching rihanna makes me feel icky, even in your example.

    also any prior power-struggle/power-imbalanced relationship between the clocker and the clockee makes me feel icky.

    you know what doesn’t make me feel icky? the thought of a mini-me/perez hilton THUNDERDOME! perez’s mini-me would be a mini-perez. so ultimately any outcome of a perez/mini-me thunderdome would be perez hilton kicking his own ass.

    Comment by stopthemadness | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  21. Yeah, I guess that’s true, STM. Maybe I should have made the example Brigitte Nielsen and Rhianna. Is that better?

    My point was that a history of publicly humiliating the clocker (or friend of the clocker) really changes the situation. TMIMO.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  22. agreed. 😀

    Comment by stopthemadness | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  23. There’s a running gag in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels that the Watch rules some deaths as “suicides” because if you’re a wimpy guy with a big mouth and you, say, pick a fight with a troll (they’re fantasy/satire novels, stay with me) you should know that you will likely get yourself killed when the only logical conclusion is that the troll will lose its temper and smash you to pieces (trolls not being known for their finesse).
    While this does not directly correlate in the real world, it does imply that people are supposed to KNOW that you can push others too far. If you step far enough outside the bounds of civility, eventually, someone else will step outside with you to dance on your face.
    This does not make it ok.
    But it does make you a dumbass.

    Comment by Roxydarling | June 25, 2009 | Reply

  24. Roxy, that reminds me a bit of “suicide by cop.”

    I love Terry Pratchett, but don’t think I’ve ever read Discworld.. I’ll have to put that on my list. Right after “Pride and Predjudice and Zombies.” It’s a real book. I must read it.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 26, 2009 | Reply

  25. SeaKat– I’ve got that book, and it’s terrific and weird, and I keep shaking my head while I’m reading it going like, “Is this a real book?” Anyway, I recommend it.

    Also, I can’t just comment here without saying that I definitely think Perez is playing the victim card not because he is a victim, but because he’s just in that brand of celebrity that always wants to make himself out as one. If you wrong someone, expect to be wronged back. And the other person will always get to choose their terms for the fight. So Perez can’t expect that if he calls someone ugly or a faggot or whatever, that that person will retaliate by calling him names too. Sometimes people hit when you anger them, so just do unto others and stop being a dick. I know, I’m eloquent.

    Comment by Chelsea - PETA Protector | June 26, 2009 | Reply

  26. “do unto others and stop being a dick.” WIN.

    Comment by stopthemadness | June 26, 2009 | Reply

  27. Yup. THAT should be Meagan Fox’s back tatto, not that “gilded butterflies” BS.

    C’mon, we’d all butt-cone her if she got that tatt.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 26, 2009 | Reply

  28. What bothers me, and that people don’t seem to be talking about, is that it’s completely disgusting to hit someone for calling you that. There should be nothing insulting about it.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 26, 2009 | Reply

  29. I don’t know. You could hurl any old epithet at me, and I’d get worked up about it. Really, the only ones that would apply would be cracker-ass-bitch-honkey-whore. But, I’d get just as pissed if you called me a spic-ass-slant-eyed-dyke. It’s not so much *what* you say, but how you say it.

    You don’t necessarily have to be insulted by the content, in order to be insulted by the premise.

    Comment by shu_shu | June 26, 2009 | Reply

  30. Good point.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 26, 2009 | Reply

  31. I absolutely LOVE that I got pink boxed by STM. And I don’t think will.i.am (*hang on to that thought for a second, I’ve got another rant coming here too) really hit him because he was called the f-word (oh, and to continue my use of parentheses, faggot is the new f-word according to me. The original just became passe), but rather because of all the crap Perez had evidently been spouting about Fergie and the band and whoever. He just finally snapped. So while violence is never my answer to a solution-seriously-I can see how it might be from someone else when they’re pushed to their personal limit.

    Okay, second rant. Anyone named will.i.am needs to get a beat down too. Especially anyone who causes a spectacle and makes me type will.i.am. Or anyone who defends Fergie for that matter. It really bothers me that they’re on the side I’m defending in this argument; this must be what rock bottom feels like. When you side with a former meth addict and a hipster who won’t be content if you call him Bill. Damn you Perez.

    Comment by Chelsea - PETA Protector | June 26, 2009 | Reply

  32. Can you imagine if this fight were between William and Mario, like their mamas intended? LAME.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 26, 2009 | Reply

  33. And they were fighting over sumpin’ Mario said about Stacey.

    How very 1985 of them.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 26, 2009 | Reply

  34. Is it wrong that I have an urge to go dig out my acid wash Chic jeans? Tight-rolled, of course.

    Comment by shu_shu | June 27, 2009 | Reply

  35. If that’s wrong, shu, I don’t want to be right.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 27, 2009 | Reply

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