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Nip Tuck

Trend it like Beckham

article-1194147-0563e13a000005dc-194_468x610Victoria Beckham is apparently quite the trendsetter. According to the Daily Mail, she’s helped fuel the latest plastic surgery fad, nipple enhancement. After flaunting her baby-spigots all over the globe, it seems she set off rumoUrs that her nipples were fake, and soon women were clamoUring for surgically enhanced nipples, just like Posh’s. The Daily Mail reports that the operation can modify size, coloUr, and shape. One busy London clinic reports a 30% rise in nipple surgeries in the last year, and attributes it mostly to Beckham’s eyebrow and awareness raising.

Dr. Riccardo Frati, a cosmetic surgeon, explains the new trend, saying “Until now celebrities didn’t expose their nipples so they were no ‘nipple role models.’ Nipple surgery is becoming more accessible.  Until recently, women didn’t know they could alter the shape, colour and size of their nipples.

Another doc suggested a cheaper, more comfortable alternative: fake stick-on silicon nipples.

Huh, ok…well, if any of you ever hear me utter the words “I think I want my nipples surgically enhanced,”  please wrestle me down and shoot me in the head with an abattoir bolt gun.


June 23, 2009 - Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans | , ,


  1. What I want to know is what, if anything, that does to help (or hurt) sensitivity. I’d rather things feel good then look good.

    On the other hand, if they could help improve the feeling good, I’d be down for that…

    I’m editing this to rant: I’m pretty sure most women with fake breasts end up losing all sensitivity in their nipples (depending on the size) because it’s sort of a deal that the larger the breasts, the further stretched the nerves, the more likely they are to become damaged. Also, I wonder if having botox means you can’t feel things on your face as well either. And I don’t even want to think about what va-jay-jay cosmetic surgery is doing to your lady bits.

    The results of all these surgeries is that you enhance your sex appeal, at the sacrifice of actually being able to enjoy certain aspects of sex…

    That is so messed up I don’t even know where to begin.

    Comment by TheHobo | June 23, 2009 | Reply

  2. Hobo: Joan Rivers jokes about not being able to feel her face anymore. “Am I smiling? I can’t tell!”

    On a side note, forget the nips, I was busy noticing how her waist appears to be as wide as it is deep. Someone please force-feed her a fricking doughnut or something. The skull to body ratio here is approaching Bratz dolls proportions.

    Comment by Roxydarling | June 23, 2009 | Reply

  3. Wow look at all those “U”s…i’m in heaven…LOL.

    Oh yeah, and about the robot known as Posh, could someone please unplug her and put her in a closet. She is a bad influence on the Earth.

    Comment by rumoUr | June 23, 2009 | Reply

  4. sex and the city already killed the nipple crisis forever long ago.

    and heck maybe it was just cold that day? millions of women are getting just plain icky surgery because posh was chilly.

    Comment by lava | June 23, 2009 | Reply

  5. It’s also possible those are bones we’ve never seen before because most of the world is of normal weight.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 23, 2009 | Reply

  6. lol…nipple bones.

    Comment by rumoUr | June 23, 2009 | Reply

  7. So…I heard a rumoUr that she was removing the implants to help shake her WAG image and become classier. What exactly is classy about shaking your nipples at the world like this? And seriously, SHE’S A MOM. I know she’s not as bad as Shauna Sands or Katie Price or the other class Britain has to offer in MILF form, but am I the only one bothered by how her children will deal with seeing Mom’s nipples?

    Comment by Chelsea - PETA Protector | June 24, 2009 | Reply

  8. Your tit bone’s connected to your… nipple bone.

    Comment by DonnaMartin | June 24, 2009 | Reply

  9. Chelsea, I heard that rumoUr too! I think her kids already have a pretty skewed view on the female body due to mummy posh here and throwing nipples into the mix probably won’t phase them. So sad.

    ha ha ha….good one DonnaMartin!!! 🙂

    Comment by rumoUr | June 24, 2009 | Reply

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