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Hey! You Got Milkyway on Your Face!

No, not the candy bar. THE GALAXY!ts-starface1

In Courtrai, Belgium last week, 18-year-old Kimberley Vlaminck–likely with a mischievous twinkle in her eye– got wasted, walked into a tattoo parlor, passed the fuck out, and woke up seeing stars.  On her face.  Tattoos. 56 of them. Permanent ink tattoos.  Homegirl only wanted threeeeeee stars!!!  Not fifty-siiiiiiix!!!

Li’l Miss Ink Face is mortified. As well she should be. She looks like an idiot. Of course she is blaming the tattoo artist, Rouslan Toumaniantz, owner of the Tattoo Box, and suing him for damages including money for the operation to remove the tattoos:

“She claimed the Romanian tattooist who performed the artwork misunderstood her French and English. She claims she fell asleep while he was doing his work… and awoke to ‘this nightmare’.

‘It is terrible for me,’ said Kimberley. ‘I cannot go out on to the street, I am so embarrassed. I just look horrible.’

‘I think he didn’t understand what I wanted. He spoke only fractured English and French.’

‘But I explicitly said in my native tongue, French, and also in a little bit of English when he looked confused, that I wanted three little stars only near my left eye.'”

What was she thinking? Her head was obviously in the clouds. Either that or she’s a space cadet. I mean, what kind of person walks into a tattoo parlor, fully knowing that the tattoo artist doesn’t speak either her home language (in this case, French) or English, asks to have her face tattooed, and then passes the fuck out?

Who would do that, especially after seeing that the tattoo artist looks like this?


A drunk person, that’s who.


The crap on my face belies the message of my belt



June 18, 2009 - Posted by | Criminally Stupid, News You May or May Not Use, What the Crap!? | , ,


  1. How does he eat soup?

    Comment by blah | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  2. I can only assume he wears glasses because “touching my eyeball freaks me out.”

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  3. she probably did point where she wanted stars, but she probably drunk swayed and swerved her hand and he got confused.

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  4. also, i had something similar happen (tattoo artist gone crazy) only I’m smart enough not to get a tattoo ON MY FACE. Apparently, they call it “artistic freestyle interpretation”. True story.

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  5. You’re kidding!! Artistic freestyle? In permanent ink on someone else’s skin? Holy cow.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  6. He was probably like “Yo, wake up drunk chick” and she didn’t so he just kept putting on stars until she did. He had nothing better to do.

    How do you pass out while getting tattooed? Doesn’t that hurt? Especially on your face?

    Comment by Cristal Methodd | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  7. yeah bfm. If a brick would have been near by…well you get it…

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  8. That picture of the tattoo artist almost made me hurl the canteloupe I just ate.

    It’s unfortunate, but that’s what you get for getting drunk and then going to get inked.

    Comment by TT2 | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  9. Never go thru with getting a tattoo when the artist says “I’m going to have a few beers and then I’ll meet you there”.

    **I** would never do something that stupid……

    Ok, I did.

    Comment by cooter jean | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  10. Seriously?? Tattoos hurt! How the hell could you sleep through this? How f’ing drunk would you need to be to not feel a NEEDLE repeatedly poking at the incredibly sensitive skin on your face???

    I’m sorry, but this was Darwin’s way of ensuring that she doesn’t reproduce.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  11. Really, isn’t this just splitting hairs? I mean, a facial tattoo pretty much makes you unemployable unless you are 1). in an artistic field or 2). self-employed.

    So, as I see it, the number of stars is really irrelevant. 3 or 56? Doesn’t matter. Any more than 0 means you’d better be real comfortable with the Taco Bell pension plan.

    Comment by shu_shu | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  12. Amen shu shu! It may make me a pussy, but I got all my tattoos on my back, because I figured any job where those would be visible probably doesn’t care too much about tattoos anyway

    Comment by Chelsea - PETA Protector | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  13. I don’t think it makes you a pussy, Chelsea, I think it makes you realistic. I always wonder how those people with the earlobe stretchers are going to like their results when they’re 60.

    I also got my tattoos on my lower back (beFORE they were called tramp stamps, thankyewverymuch!)and on both hips. I also waited to get my nose pierced until I was 30, and confident that I knew what I wanted to be when I “grew up.” 🙂

    Comment by SeaKat | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  14. i am a little curious about everyone’s tattoos. i find them fascinating. i will never get one… but i love them.

    i just know if i got a tattoo and then had any regret about it, i might freak the hell out and try to gnaw my arm off or something. that’s why i won’t get one. that’s all.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  15. LOL. WOW, bfm. In that case, I think you made the right choice!! 🙂

    To answer your question:

    I have a tiny little linked male/female symbol on my left hip, a 2″ crescent moon w/a face (you know, the man in the moon) on my right hip and a 8″ x 3″ celtic knot design on my lower back that hurt like friggin hell and took about 3 hours. And during said celtic knot inking, the supremely hot tattoo artist invited me to go out with him, as his girlfriend was “very open-minded.” In fact, he continued, “she’s really into threesomes. You’re kind of her type.”

    That was… an awkward moment. How DOES one turn down the man who is busy putting a permanent design on a part of your body that you can’t really see??? Very. Carefully.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 18, 2009 | Reply

  16. Whoa! Awesome! High five on being randomly invited to a threesome with hot people! I’d be flying high on that compliment for a while.

    Your tattoos sound very cool.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 19, 2009 | Reply

  17. I don’t have any either. I have entertained the notion several times, but always decided to ruminate on the chosen design. After enough time had passed, I would inevitably decide that it was a dumb idea (for me).

    Here are the designs & locations I have rejected (in no particular order):
    1) Small outline of Africa(the continent, not the band)– on my back
    2) Fairy — my hip
    3) Aerosmith wings — my ankle
    4) Small star — back of neck
    5) Sunburst — around my belly button
    6) Sparrow — foot

    All-in-all I praise sweet Jesus nearly daily that I did NOT go through with any of those. In hindsight, they just don’t hold the meaning I had originally hoped. And, let’s be honest, if it is going to take up advertising space on my skin, it better hold it’s meaning.

    Comment by shu_shu | June 19, 2009 | Reply

  18. I have four tat’s and I’m in the process of getting two removed. I actually like the sensation of getting tattoo’d (don’t judge me, I’m not a freak). The two that are on my back that I’m getting removed are a rose and a butterfly. I mainly did it to piss my mom off, but the guy decided to have a little artistic freedom and he put my name on it. I’m not going to forget who I am.

    This girl should be lucky that this guy didn’t put anything else on her face. If that guy was a frat guy, he could have tattoo’d a giant penis on her face. THAT would be classic!

    Comment by blah | June 19, 2009 | Reply

  19. shu – the sparrow on your foot sounds pretty! I have been really into birds lately. May have to consider another tattoo… 🙂

    blah – oh, man. Sorry about the “artistic freedom” – that is unfortunate and highly unethical for the artist to deviate from an approved design. 😦

    You’re right about the frat boy comment. Looking at that tatoo artist, I’m thinking his fraternity would be “Omega Mu Gamma”. (I originally looked for the Greek equivalent of WTF, but those ancient Greeks had no “W”, sadly…)

    Comment by SeaKat | June 19, 2009 | Reply

  20. BTW, bfm, if I hadn’t already been married, I probably would have taken him up on the offer out of pure curiousity!! 😛

    Comment by SeaKat | June 19, 2009 | Reply

  21. Despite that one bad experience, it clearly didn’t stop me. I got those two on my 18th birthday and have since got two more. I’m always up for another one. Although, now that I’m older the tat’s I get have a bit more thought and consideration behind them then when I was 18 and hoping to piss off mom.

    Comment by blah | June 19, 2009 | Reply

  22. I have an ouroboros (snake eating it’s tail, if the google is broken) that I drew out, and then pink stars on my shoulder blades. I hate those ones. I just wanted pink, and I also liked getting tattoos (it’s like an addiction once you start). My mom calls them backwards tits, and my sister says I’d fit right in at a naked rodeo. So if you hear of one, lemme know. I got the costume.

    Comment by Chelsea - PETA Protector | June 19, 2009 | Reply

  23. Chelsea, so they look like big pink pasties?

    Comment by shu_shu | June 19, 2009 | Reply

  24. ha! pretty much I suppose. Actually, my photographer has some photos here: http://leahsternphotography.blogspot.com/2009/06/chelsea-mike-hitched.html and the first shot is my Mom trying to cover ‘the stars’ and in the rest you can see how that failed and we just dealt with them. Tattoos are forever people.

    Comment by Chelsea - PETA Protector | June 19, 2009 | Reply

  25. Aw!!!! Those are so great! And you look so pretty!!! And they don’t look like pasties. lol. I thought they would be more centered on your shoulderblades.

    Your mom is funny for trying to cover them! Too cute.

    Comment by shu_shu | June 20, 2009 | Reply

  26. HOOOLY CRAP, Chelsea, you are STUNNING. STUH-NING. I love your tattoos, and your wedding chapel looks amazing, and you are gorgeous. Am I gushing?

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 20, 2009 | Reply

  27. Wow, Chelsea – you look beautiful! It’s so fun to put faces with names!! Your wedding looks like it was wonderful, and the hearts on the bottom of your shoes is adorable. That shot was my personal fave. 🙂

    Comment by SeaKat | June 20, 2009 | Reply

  28. Aww thanks you guys! This bride is blushing…

    Comment by Chelsea - PETA Protector | June 20, 2009 | Reply

  29. I have been working on getting the two tattoos on my back removed, but part of me just wants to say “fuck this” and cover them up instead. The removal process is EXTREMELY painful and VERY expensive. I have to have at least 6 sessions to get rid of them. At $375 a session, it will cost me approximately 22 times more expensive to remove them than to put them on.

    Comment by blah | June 22, 2009 | Reply

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