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Doosh Watch 2009: Jon Voight

“STFU, Dad.”ts-angelina-jolie-voight

The feud between Angelina Jolie and her father Jon Voight is renowned.  In 2002, Jon Voight opened his yapper and told Access Hollywood that he wanted his daughter to seek help for “severe emotional problems.” I reckon he wasn’t too pleased about seeing his daughter running around acting all stabby and homosexicle whilst wearing a vial of Billy Bob Mothereffin’ Thornton’s blood around her neck.

By 2002, however, Angelina was on the road to being the Mother Earth (literally figuratively) she is now.  It was in 2002 that Angelina was named Good Will Ambassador for the UN Refugee Agency.  She was “turning her life around,” as they say, and really, who wants to turn on the TV and have some old coot you’re supposed to call “Dad” talking to Access friggin’ Hollywood about how fucked up you are?  No one.  And after that it was lights out for Old Voight.  Angelina wanted nothing to do with him as she moved forward with her life, adopting children hither and thither.

After years of estrangement and some public begging from old man, Voight (“Please forgive me! I’d like to get to know your colored children!  It’s always been my dream to have some black kid call me Pappy.”) and some real life dumbass statements–when he saw some pictures of her all knocked up and stuff at the Cannes Festival in 2008, he had this to say:  “She looks very happy now,” and  “Very heavy!  She looks like she’s having a couple of babies.”

Note to you menfolks:  NEVER TELL A PREGNANT WOMAN SHE LOOKS HEAVY!  ALSO, NEVER ASK A FAT PERSON WHEN SHE’S DUE UNLESS YOU DAMN WELL KNOW SHE’S PREGNANT!

Despite Voight’s public displays of asshattery, in 2008, Angie finally relented, telling the Sydney Morning Herald: “We are going to try to get to know each other and maybe try not to be this daddy and daughter, but to be there for each other as friends in the coming years.”

Time to reconsider.

Here’s what he said last year:

Sen. Barack Obama has grown up with the teaching of very angry, militant white and black people: the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Louis Farrakhan, William Ayers and Rev. Michael Pfleger. We cannot say we are not affected by teachers who are militant and angry. We know too well that we become like them, and Mr. Obama will run this country in their mindset.

The Democratic Party, in its quest for power, has managed a propaganda campaign with subliminal messages, creating a God-like figure in a man who falls short in every way. It seems to me that if Mr. Obama wins the presidential election, then Messrs. Farrakhan, Wright, Ayers and Pfleger will gain power for their need to demoralize this country and help create a socialist America.

This is a perilous time, and more than ever, the world needs a united and strong America. If, God forbid, we live to see Mr. Obama president, we will live through a socialist era that America has not seen before, and our country will be weakened in every way.

And after calling Obama “a false prophet” last Thursday (which, to the rabid religious right whacknutters, is akin to calling Obama the Antichrist), Jon Voight responded to a question posed by Bill O’Reilly who asked what his beef with Obama is:

Well, it is essentially this, Bill, if I had to break it down. We were warned by Hillary Clinton that he had no experience, that he had no qualifications. We were warned by his now vice president, Joe Biden, he had no experience. So he was a novice. And now we’re getting what we could have expected, if we had listened. We have a fellow who’s bringing us to chaos and socialism.

Well, if I were Angelina, I would brick him in the face with such vim and vigor that even the regulars at the Applebee’s parking lot would run scared.

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June 16, 2009 - Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Culture Critic, Doosh Watch 2009, Politiks | , , , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. …and he wonders why his daughter wants nothing to do with him. Keep talking John, the Democrats love it.

    Comment by blah | June 16, 2009 | Reply


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