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Least Appropriate Wedding Tunes

Sometimes Fat Bottomed Girls won’t make your rockin’ world go round

257254_f520Wedding season is upon us.  Recently squeer! Chelsea – PETA Protector tied the knot, and soon one of Thundersquee!’s own, hag extraordinaire Cait will be following suit, so it felt like time for another wedding themed post. NPR recently did a list of their picks for the least appropriate wedding songs, and while they didn’t get it wrong, they could have done better, and their list was all too brief.  Here’s a quick recap of NPR’s choices:

  • Send in the Clowns – Judy Collins
  • You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ – The Righteous Brothers
  • Just a Gigolo – Louis Prima
  • The Lady is a Tramp – Frank Sinatra
  • La donna e mobile from Rigoletto – Verdi Translation: “Anyone who trusts her is always wretched; he who opens his heart to her is lacking in caution.”

They’re all sound choices, but we think you can do much better.  Here are a few additions to get you started.

  • Another One Bites the Dust – Queen
  • 99 Problems – Ice-T (or Jay-Z)
  • D-I-V-O-R-C-E – Tammy Wynette
  • The Thrill is Gone – B.B. King
  • Gold Digger – Kanye West
  • Suspicious Minds – Elvis Presley

Add yours in the comments.


June 12, 2009 - Posted by | What Do You Think?, Wistful Lists | , ,


  1. Fuck Her Gently – Tenacious D.

    Comment by shu_shu | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  2. Me & Mrs. Jones-Billy Paul
    Your Cheating Heart – Roy Acuff
    I Will Always Love You – Dolly Parton or Whitney Houston

    Comment by SeaKat | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  3. Don’t Stand So Close To Me – Sting and/or The Police

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  4. Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers. Sure, I know it is an appropriate song but they stayed at the hotel I used to work at and Bobby Hatfield died in the room I put him in. It sort of ruined it for me.

    Comment by oilybohunk7 | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  5. Also, Jimmy Buffet – Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw?

    Comment by oilybohunk7 | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  6. Achey Breaky Heart (but that goes for ANY occasion).

    In the same vein, but an awesome song: Wedding Bells (Hank Sr.)

    Comment by HolyChow | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  7. As an aside: I hate Jimmy Buffet. Like, makes me rage. I will show you a mothertrucking Cheeseburger in Paradise you AHOLE!!!

    Comment by HolyChow | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  8. I don’t hate Jimmy but rhyming Jamaica With Mistaka makes me die a little inside.

    Comment by oilybohunk7 | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  9. These Boots are made for Walkin’ – pick your fave artist.

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  10. Oily, I’m sorry, that’s so sad… but I am curious about hearing more of that story if you ever feel like telling it.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  11. I was working at a four diamond hotel in Kalamazoo, Michigan. We actually got quite a few celebrities staying there because there is a university in town which brings them in and along with some choice local fairs. Since we were the nicest hotel in the area celebrities always stayed with us.

    I was excited that The Righteous Brothers were staying because I LOVED Unchained Melody. I worked the morning of the day they were checking in and I had to block all their rooms, make their keys and get the rooming list together. I left before they checked in.

    I also worked the next morning and my mom woke me up and told me “You are going to have a shitty day at work, one of The Righteous Brothers died there.” Apparently their manager went to get him before the show and found him. It was an OD. I spent the day fending off press and curious fans (I had people call and pry for info), talking to his widow and Bill Medley (the other Brother, if you will). A former boss had moved to South Carolina had even heard about it and called me. It was just so bizarre to me that there was his key packet taped to the front desk with the room number and his name in my handwriting. It is weird to know that I put him in the last room he would ever be alive in. I sort of have a history of celebrities dying when I do or say something in relation to them so it was extra creepy!

    Comment by oilybohunk7 | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  12. I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
    I cringe every time I hear that song at a wedding but it used to always get requested. Sure, great party song, but not for a wedding.

    Comment by TT2 | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  13. wow oily that is amazing… thanks for telling the story

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  14. Every Breath You Take – The Police. It’s a creepy stalker song. Also, “The Same Ol’ Situation” would probably be in poor taste but I think it would be funny for a couple who are getting remarried and have a good sense of humor.

    Comment by blah | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  15. Thank you, you’re welcome.

    Comment by oilybohunk7 | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  16. Wait, I think the DJ played “Suspicious Minds” at our wedding…

    Comment by etc at Fierce and Nerdy | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  17. Tango – Shakira
    Any Chris Isaak Song, but especially “Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing” and “I Don’t Want to Fall In Love (With you)”
    With or Without You – U2
    Most No Doubt songs, but especially “Ex-Girlfriend” and “Don’t Speak”
    Heading for a HeartBreak – Winger
    Rich Girl – Hall & Oats
    My Man – pick your version (“It’s cost me a lot, but there’s one thing that I’ve got…”)
    What’s Love Got to Do With It – Tina Turner

    Okay, so, the 80s was a really bad time to get married…

    Comment by TheHobo | June 12, 2009 | Reply

  18. I have a friend who danced with her dad at her wedding to Baby Got Back

    Comment by Chelsea - PETA Protector | June 13, 2009 | Reply

  19. I Heard it Through the Grapevine – Marvin Gaye (or pick an artist)
    You’re No Good – Linda Ronstadt
    Love is a Battlefield – Pat Benatar
    Love Stinks – J. Geils Band
    Hurt – NIN

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 13, 2009 | Reply

  20. Push It – Salt n’ Pepa

    Comment by HolyChow | June 15, 2009 | Reply

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