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American Idol Runner-Up has the Gay

America Wakes Up, Yawns, Goes Back to Sleep

ts-lambertrollingstoneAdam Lambert has landed a Rolling Stone cover and apparently talks about his sexuality and stuff:

According to Rolling Stone, Lambert was open about his sexuality backstage at “Idol.” In March, photos surfaced online of Lambert kissing his ex-boyfriend. “Going into ‘Idol,’ I assumed, ‘OK, people are going to talk,'” he says. “I mean, I’ve been living in Los Angeles for eight years as a gay man, I’ve been at clubs making out with somebody in the corner. But photographic evidence? Didn’t count on that. Wasn’t ready for that.”

He says he worried that a public announcement would overshadow his singing, so he decided not to respond and largely kept his personal life under wraps on the show. “I’m an entertainer, and who I am and what I do in my personal life is a separate thing,” he says. “It shouldn’t matter. Except it does. It’s really confusing.”

So yeah.  I guess Adam Lambert is “officially gay.”  Ugh.  Who cares.  It sucks that this is even news.  It sucks that some twenty-something-year-old kid who was really quite an impressive entertainer has to have a “coming out” moment with America.

I will volunteer to be gay if it means I never have to read another story about “so-and-so” is gay again.

Thundersquee!: New and Improved, With 100% More Irony.


June 10, 2009 - Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans | , , ,


  1. The shocking thing for me is that he has considered himself a man for eight years. I feel old.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  2. Also, the Earth revolves around the sun.

    Comment by oilybohunk7 | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  3. I, personally, would like to brick the photo stylist who thought that it would be a good idea to put a butterfly right next to the crotch of his pants and a bright green snake crawling toward his joystick.

    Also in line for a bricking: the editor who selected that pic for the “I HAVE THE GAY!” magazine cover.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  4. So, now he is “officially gay?” What was he before? “Unofficially gay?”

    I mean, if it takes a press realease to confirm a person’s sexuality, do I need to get on the horn to Rolling Stone and spread the word that I am straight? Or, do the facts that I was married (to a man), have a child (with said man) and have sex with a man speak for themselves? Just curious…

    Comment by shu_shu | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  5. shu_shu:

    I’m sorry, but I think you’re going to have to make some amateur porn, just to remove all doubt. Actually, we all will have to do so…you know, with our individual partners or toys of preference.

    In addition to removing any doubt about our secksual preferences, there are several addt’l benefits here:

    1) It could really help to monetize* the site.
    2) Could there BE a better weight-loss motivator?

    *jackass faux-intellectual terminology intentional

    Comment by SeaKat | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  6. I haven’t been this shocked since Rosie O’donnel or Ellen came out. I remember asking my dad why he quit watching Ellen’s show and his response was “because she’s gay”. Are you fucking kidding me? I said dad she’s always been gay. “yeah, well I didnt KNOW she was gay.”

    Comment by cooter jean | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  7. I have an announcement to make myself so please all don’t set your hair ablaze. I am NOT a virgin. Just in case the fact there is photographic evidence of my 4 chilrens and all. I just really want to live my life in truth. Just please don’t tell me Boy George has the gays. He’s so butch and all. I don’t think my fragile mind could handle it.

    Comment by cookiebees | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  8. I go to gay rallies and have kissed girls…and there are probably photos of both. And I’m NOT gay.

    I’m just easy.

    Comment by TheHobo | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  9. God. All he had to do was file Form Q-U33R with the Committee, and wait 6-8 weeks for a confirmation letter and commemorative plaque.

    Comment by ManBearPig | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  10. Don’t forget passing the Jazz Hands tribunal, MBP.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  11. MBP! MBP! MBP! MBP!

    ::squeals, cries and passes out::

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  12. oilybo-

    true. also, the sun will “come out” tomorrow. bet your bottom dollar…

    Comment by DonnaMartin | June 14, 2009 | Reply

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