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Best in Squee!

ts_big_fistWe here at Thundersquee! love our commenters. We love them so much that we’d sneak out to the parking lot behind the bleachers and make out with them in the back seat of their bitchin’ Camaro. But Thundersquee! is classy, so there will be no heavy petting. Instead, Thundersquee! will highlight the most squee!-worthy comments in a weekly column aptly titled Best in Squee!

And the award goes to…


Most Wistfully Wise: TheHobo

Remember when celebrities were stars, and they practiced being really good at ONE thing, like acting? Or even in the day of musicals, they acted, sang and danced…but on screen. And really, they mostly stuck with one of the three as their special talent.

I miss having people who are really good at the one thing they try really hard at.

Instead we have all these multi-hyphenated people who at best mediocre in all their hyphens…

There seems to be a correlation between lack of actual talent and the number of things a celebrity tries to be good at…


Zer Der. Zer Kveer. Get Zoos for It: Helen Skor

I would love to see statistics on what percentage of the wild population of penguins is gay vs. those at the German Zoo. Seriously – 30% of their penguins are gay? Or is this zoo like the Key West of zoos, and so all the little gay penguins move there so that they can live their lives with their little beaks held high and without fear of social ostracism?

Next thing you know, there will be a study conducted by some right-wing think tank that uses this information to “prove” that homosexuality is contagious, and therefore all gays should be quarantined.


Slow Clap Award: Roxy Darling

It’s like he’s really arguing for the abolishment of marriage between *anyone* by using such archaic reasoning. (not his intent, I’m sure) Because, if I refuse to accept his arguments, (which any self-respecting child of the current era must?) then I must also refuse the validity of any marriage system. I refuse to be controlled, considered unable to control myself, or in need of protection. Therefor, I would refuse to enter into such a relationship because, thank god, now and in America, I can opt out and not be a pariah, starve, be ritually raped by my village elders, set on fire, or any of the other delightful realities of other cultures.

But, if I decide that marriage is (in this day, age and culture) about love and the personal decision between two mature, rational beings, and NOT any of the things he lists, then I can not only allow myself to get married, but allow anyone to marry anyone else who also meets those criteria (love, rational, willing, etc.). But he can’t accept that because it opens the door to what he hates, and so instead he swings wildly for another explanation.
It’s so sad that in their rabid desire to oppress others, they cast their net so wide as to include their own wives and daughters in the insanity. What fuckwittery.

I mean, do these people think these things out to their rational conclusions, at all?? Or am I the only one that likes to take theories and run them to ground?

If some asshat is going to make a argument against gay marriage, I wish they’d just keep it strictly religious or political, and not try to drag women’s issues into it. I can disagree but still respect *those* opinions. But, when they stray into supporting nonsensical ancient reasoning which is really about control of property, inheritance and male pride, then I just want to reach for a brick. …ok, I have to stop now. I apologize for the foaming of the mouth and crazy-eye.


Worth the Risk (and Best Caption): SeaKat

voices: ahhhahahahhaha!!!!

Like Kurosawa he makes mad films.
‘Kay, he don’t make films.
But if he did there’d be a samurai.

(btw, would an “Akira Coonosawa” joke upset anyone due to the racial connotations of that term? Not worth the risk, I guess…)


Best Recovery: WhoMee

squeeeee!!! (in deep, manly voice)


Enabler?  Maybe.  Awesome?  Certainly: silent noodles

I am in love with the lady of leisure! That delicate flower of the trailer park can come to my house and we will split a box of the finest white wine, dress like whores and shake our asses for the neighborhood….oh yes good classy times.

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June 8, 2009 - Posted by | Best in Squee! | ,

11 Comments »

  1. bwaaaaahahahahahahahahahaha *breath* hahahahahahahahahahahhaa!

    I don’t even know the context of most of those (damn work), but that was some damn funny squee…

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | June 8, 2009 | Reply

  2. First of all…Squee!! Second, if you don’t click the link in the article it sounds like I am talking about Gwyneth Paltrow.

    Comment by silent noodles | June 8, 2009 | Reply

  3. It is just me, or are we all getting kind of philosophical-like on this here gossipy-type site? hee! LOVE it!

    I have Kate Nash’s Pumpkin Soup Stuck in my head…

    Just sharing.

    Comment by TheHobo | June 8, 2009 | Reply

  4. LOL…congrats to all!

    oh man….the things I’ve missed the past couple of weeks.

    P.S. I think we should start making some actual bricks with the Thundersquee trademark (is it a trademark yet? Note to self, trademark Thundersquee) and they should be sold on this site.

    P.P.S. Love the new edit feature. It allows me to correct my spelling and grammar mistakes. I hope I got them all.

    Comment by rumoUr | June 8, 2009 | Reply

  5. i like to comment with sensitive information just to see what it feels like to publish it, and then freak out and regret saying anything, then go back and delete. so the feature is awesome for that too.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 8, 2009 | Reply

  6. I like that I can now add all of those witty comments that always come to me one second after I click to submit the lame comment I had first.

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | June 9, 2009 | Reply

  7. ROXSHY FOR THE WIN!

    Comment by Cait | June 9, 2009 | Reply

  8. Also, I think we should make chocolate ThunderSquee bricks, just cuz I like chocolate.

    But seriously the guy who sold the “get out of hell free” cards made some moula. This site has to cost something to maintain…it should sell “bricks in the face!” they can be foam, I suppose 😛

    Also, ThunderSquee shirts? Please?

    “ThunderSquee will brick you in the face.”

    “TMIMO”

    “Squee!”

    “Will Brick DP’s for Bale”

    um…there has to be some other slogans…

    OOOOh! Stickers! Pins?

    Why do I suddenly want so much merchandise?

    Edit: Oh, I personally want a shirt that says “Epic-Ku Master” on it 😉

    Comment by TheHobo | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  9. gotta get that merch, son!

    Comment by DonnaMartin | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  10. “down in flames”

    “I miss Matt! Hahaha!”

    “RebaRae, RIP”

    Comment by SeaKat | June 10, 2009 | Reply

  11. “may you down in flames”… that’s one of my favorite things that’s ever happened in my lifetime, and i feel privileged to have witnessed it.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 10, 2009 | Reply


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