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Mariah Carey Failed as an Actress; The Terrorists Won

Osama is more of a Whitney Houston fan

ts-mariah-carey-glitter1Mariah Carey has come out eight years after the fact to let us know why Glitter sucked:

“That movie was released on September 11th, 2001 – could there be a worse day for that movie to come out? I don’t think so,” she said. “I don’t even know that many people even saw the movie so I don’t think it’s the worst thing ever done.”

Glitter was a learning experience and I wouldn’t do it again if you paid me. But I didn’t have representation or anyone to tell me: ‘What you need is a great director’.”

Wow. Just wow. Does she really think if it hadn’t been for 9/11, the public would have lauded Glitter as a great piece of cinema? I would rather watch a Rush Limbaugh colonoscopy on IMAX 3D. Hell, I’ll even watch Ann Coulter jerk off in a gym sock to old Ronald Reagan speeches before I watched Mariah’s self-centered ego trip.

I don’t want to ruin the Rush Limbaugh colonoscopy film for you, but I heard that they find the missing minutes from the Nixon Watergate tapes lodged in his small intestines, along with a bottle of Mexican oxycontin and a half eaten pork chop. The inside of his bowels is pretty much like that scene in Jaws where they cut open the shark and all the junk falls out.


I am presenting to Mariah Carey, the Bag of Douche Award.


Mariah is the second star to receive the award; Kanye West had the honor of receiving the first. In the future, I will bestow the Bag of Douche Award to any people who go above and beyond to make an ass of themselves. This isn’t for your run-of-the-mill foot-in-mouth comments. The Bag of Douche Award will only be bestowed upon those individuals who demonstrate themselves to be a-holes of the highest caliber.


June 4, 2009 - Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Doosh Watch 2009 | , , , , , ,


  1. Ok, I nearly died reading the Ann Coulter thing. It wouldn’t surprise me if she was packin’. She’s already going for the award for the biggest adam’s apple in the Republican party; she may as well have the biggest penis.

    Comment by blah | June 4, 2009 | Reply

  2. I read another article where I am almost certain Mariah was quoted as saying something like “Glitter was ahead of its time. Now everybody’s doing 80’s music.”

    I mention it because “Glitter was ahead of its time” is my favorite celebrity quote all year so far.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 4, 2009 | Reply

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