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My Tragic Tale

Don’t Know What You Got Till It’s Gonets-microwave

Sorry for the Cinderella quote, but I was recently downloading some old favorites. I hereby admit I used to love metal. The lighter fare that is. My tragic situation reminded me of the Cinderella song, Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone).

We recently had another appliance death. It seems to happen to us fairly frequently. I’ve been cursed. Our microwave decided to hit the shits or the skids. But it hit something, that’s my point. And at that time, it became clear to me that a microwave is something one must have to live.

It really makes you think–when something that seems so small is really a huge fricking deal. Like when we had a Betamax and then replaced it with a VCR. I mean, reaaaaalllly? How can VHS be better?  Or when I refused to get rid of my cassettes for stupid CDs. CDs aren’t going to last and then the joke will be on everyone else but me. Or how about that time I said computers and this whole interwebs thing is so stupid. Only nerds use computers, I said. And now we have 6 computers in our home. I know it seems excessive, but I married one of those nerds I was talking about.

So, here’s what I’ve learned from this experience:

  • Food takes to long to cook the old fashioned way. Wahhhhhhhhh.
  • My damn food is taking too long to get in my gullet because I have to use a damn oven.
  • Life sucks when you have to keep explaining to the kids that they just have to wait.
  • Kids have the memory span of gnats because they keep asking if dinner’s done.
  • My oven is inconvenient and I hate it.
  • You can’t cook food in a clothes dryer.
  • That Cinderella song is going to be in my mind all weekend.

Oh wonderful and most magical microwave, I miss you so. You gave me such tasty treats in a short time span. How could you die on me like that? Did I not spray you down and wipe you off? Did I not use you enough?

I decided to part ways and dump my microwave in favor of a cool new shiny silver model. But I will miss it and remember it fondly–at least up until the time it became a fiery death box. The microwave was a wedding present and was one of the last things I still had left from when I got married. Aside from the husband that is. I still have him as well. And I just hope he doesn’t start sparking, nearly setting our home on fire. I’m not sure where I’d get another him.

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June 2, 2009 - Posted by | Daily Whims | ,

59 Comments »

  1. I learned the hard way when I was 10 that you can NOT put a tea kettle in the microwave. I wanted to have a fancy tea party and thought that you can’t have a fancy tea party unless you have a tea kettle to serve the tea. Needless to say it started sparking and the whole house filled with a horrid smell. I was never allowed near the microwave again unless my mom saw what went in it.

    Comment by blah | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  2. Another Cristal fun fact: I lived in Houston for two years without a microwave.

    Comment by Cristal Methodd | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  3. I haven’t had a microwave in the house for about two years. You really don’t miss it after awhile.

    Comment by Skaði | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  4. I want to believe you, Skathi. I really do.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  5. I really don’t use mine all that much anymore. It’s mainly used for heating up coffee, tea or leftovers from the night before.

    Comment by blah | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  6. “I really don’t use mine all that much anymore. It’s mainly used for heating up coffee, tea or leftovers from the night before.”

    Ha! When taken out of context, this statement could be really naughty-funny.

    Comment by WhoMee | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  7. Well, it was settled for me recently when my basement dwellers started using a microwave. Diana turned the microwave on about six times. The first time I just felt very unsettled, it was a wierd pressure about my temples. As she kept using it, my head started feeling worse and worse, and I had to go upstairs to keep from getting a headache. Perhaps her microwave was too old, but I haven’t looked back. I use a convection toaster oven for heating leftovers.

    Comment by Skaði | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  8. I don’t own one either. I haven’t for a little over a year. I don’t miss it at all, but I also don’t eat the stuff you would normally use a microwave to cook. That makes it easier to do without.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  9. Yeah, you definitely have to give up the pre-packaged frozen meals. I think it’s made us eat a lot healthier as a family.

    Comment by Skaði | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  10. Skaði: Thinking about it, can you use cordless phones, wireless devices, cell phones and the like without problems? If so, it may not be the basement dwellers’ microwave that is making you ill. It could be that it’s a specific frequency you have problems with, but all those things fall into a similar range, for the most part. I ask though, because you might want to check things out further if that’s the case.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  11. What I always thought was odd was that we weren’t allowed to look through the little window of the microwave as kids because somehow that would damage our eyes.

    But our food inside was safe to eat.

    I have a former boss who gave up microwaves and teflon (both of which are supposed to cause cancer). And I have friends who are on a raw (including meat and fish) diet.

    I could give up my microwave if I can keep my Foreman Grill.

    Comment by TheHobo | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  12. Voices, it was definitely not something I’d ever experienced before. The only thing I could think was that being exposed to a microwave after not being around one for a long time caused a disturbance in the atmosphere I’d never noticed before because I’d become used to it from childhood. I was in another room pretty far from the thing, too.

    TheHobo, if I could find it easily again (spent about 3 minutes looking, gave up), I’d link to something I read that cites all these studies that were done showing that food is made toxic at the molecular level in microwaves. It has something to do with the microwaves being caused by an alternating current instead of a direct current. The volunteers in these studies had very definite negative changes in their blood. Known cancer-causing compounds were also found in the food after being microwaved. The author of one of the studies lost his job after publishing his article. He lived in Sweden, I believe.

    I have the link at home, if anyone cares to read the website later.

    Comment by Skaði | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  13. I do.

    And my boss was really convinced that microwaves were evil and were, at most, only safe for heating up water.

    I have an electric kettle for that though…

    Hmmm….

    Challenge! Lets all give up one electrical device for a week and see how we fair! Anyone?

    Comment by TheHobo | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  14. cooking device? because if it’s a cooking device, I’ll give up all of mine for a week.

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  15. Just don’t take my fans. It’s f’ing hot in Seattle and my little brick house becomes a little brick oven after absorbing the sun all day. Ugh.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  16. sorry, thehobo. i paid my dues. i’ve spent months at a time without my electric devices and i have come to realize that i heart them.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  17. TheHobo: As long as it doesn’t involve internet deprivation, I’m in! Although, I haven’t turned on my actual TV since the Oscars. Before that it was sometime in November, so surely that counts for something.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  18. I realize that I own all sorts of electric devices I never use or rarely use…

    Okay, how about we all just try eating some sort of vegetable that isn’t cooked in the microwave this week?

    That work?

    Comment by TheHobo | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  19. I’m out. I went **almost** 6 hours today without internet. I almost slit my wrists.

    Comment by cooter jean | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  20. Skaði: As a scientist, I have to say this. That article is wrong in several ways both logically and evidentially, and is more seriously misinforming than anything ever published by microwave oven manufacturers. As I stated before, I don’t a microwave. I’m not even pro-microwave and have no reason to argue against these “scientists.” I say this with nothing but a bias toward scientific truth. I am offended for science and the general public at what the authors of that article present as “fact.” I was pissed off within a few paragraphs, but when they threw in the Reductio ad Hitlerum all I could do is laugh.

    I don’t know what their agenda is, but I can tell you with all certainty, whoever compiled that article was either insane or had some sort of agenda. It’s peppered with enough facts to make it seem credible, and when I have calmed down, if you want me to go through this point by point and show what’s wrong with I will.

    If you want to spare yourself the boring details, suffice it to say the most truthful thing it stated was that microwaves destroy nutrients in food. That’s because HEAT destroys them. Heat denatures proteins no matter how it is delivered. Boiling vegetables will, baking them, frying them…they all destroy the nutrients in food. It really all depends on the food and the length of time it is cooked.

    In reality some foods benefit from being cooked in the microwave, some are better steamed, some raw, etc. You can’t make a blanket statement like that. First of all, many, many studies have been conducted on this subject. Not all have been covered up by a secret cabal that wants to kill your babies.

    They also said babies get burned because the milk hasn’t heated thoroughly. Yes,this is true. Shake up the bottle and test the temperature of a baby bottle before you feed your child…or anyone else’s.

    There was also some true science stuff in there that was about physics and really had absolutely nothing to do with anything at all, except to make you feel like you then had the tools necessary to believe their bullshit. And some microbiology that is true only without context. In fact most everything they say is also true of every other way you might cook something.

    OK, I’m going to stop ranting now. I’m getting angrier rather than calmer. Like I said, I will go int far greater detail if you want, but I think I need a beer first.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  21. They had me at “Who invented the microwave? The Nazis…”

    I don’t know a damn thing about science and even I had to laugh at the ridiculous notions set forth in that so-called scientific paper.

    Comment by Dr. No | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  22. Skaði: I realized that may last comment may look as thought I’m attacking you. I’m not. It was purely the article I took exception to. Nothing in it was aimed at you, but it occurred to me that addressing the somment to you then using the collective “you” might make you think I meant you specifically. Sorry if that was the case.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  23. Let’s not be too quick to judge the microwave oven “innocent” people. We need to review this case thoroughly:

    First of all:

    Let’s face it. Anything that can turn a frozen chunk in a plastic tray into hot, piping mac & cheese in a matter of minutes seems a little TOO good to be true, right? I mean, Robert Johnson went down to the crossroads and came back the best mofo’ing blues guitar player in the Mississippi Delta. Were I to run into Ol’ Scratch at the intersection of 5th and Pine, I promise you this my friends: I’d be walking away with something delicious from the cheese family.

    Add in the sparks and smoke when you activate this “tool” (Of the DEV-eeel~!) when it contains base metals, and we’re talking alchemy. It’s all very suspicious.

    I keed, I keed.

    Skaði, thanks for sharing that link. I know many, many people who are uncomfortable with the idea of microwaving food. It’s not an uncommon concern.

    Remember the worries about:
    * cancer rates near cell towers (am I remembering that issue correctly?)
    *cancerous brain tumors stemming from cell usage (since disproved, I think — but it had a lot of smart people worried for a long time!)

    I can see where one would worry that using similar frequencies on our food is maybe not that wholesome. Add in the knowledge that big companies are pretty willing to sacrifice the health of many for profit (oh, big tobacco, I’m looking at you!) and it really doesn’t seem like a stretch.

    I hope you don’t think I was mocking you AT ALL. I think you may be more sensitive than others to whatever it was about your friend’s microwave. What that is, I have no idea. But having the headache reoccur several times exactly when she used it — I, too, would stay the hell away from microwaves. (Full disclosure: I refused to remain in the room with an activated microwave throughout my first pregnancy. I don’t know why. It just freaked me out!)

    Voices – thanks for looking it over and pointing out the weak parts of that article. It can be very easy to twist scientific facts and theories in a way that is extremely convincing for us non-scientists. Frankly, no one can be an expert in everything, so it’s awesome to have friends like you with the knowledge to help sort through the hype! I don’t know if anyone else is interested, but I’d LOVE to read more detail on what information is misleading and what is flat out wrong! (Although, I feel as though I should remind you that I’m a marketing writer by trade; your helpful breakdown of this propaganda may end up being a “how to snow the public for fun and profit” primer… )

    Comment by SeaKat | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  24. Ok, stm — seriously, this HAS to be longest commment yet!

    The gauntlet is thrown!!

    Comment by SeaKat | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  25. SeaKat: I should say I’m not arguing that microwaves (the electromegnetic energy itself, not the appliance) are perfectly harmless. What I’m saying is that that paper is full of shit. 😀 Please don’t confuse the two. They are mutually exclusive. My problem is purely with the article and that all that it proves is that I get angry when faced with fearmongering asshats who distort the truth for their own purposes.

    Regarding cell phones and towers, etc. It maybe be proven at some point that when broadcast they cause all kinds of problems (or possibly not if they liquify all our brains before we get a chance to finish the research!), but that sort of microwave, while the same or similar to that in a microwave oven is applied very differently, in that is isn’t confined, and the application that makes them completely different topics and doesn’t apply to this particular debate.

    Microwave ovens are different than the types of microwave transmissions mentioned above because they are confined, focused and shielded/ designed to keep the microwaves in. There’s no doubt that microwaves can damage tissue. That’s what cooking meat is, in a nutshell. However, the conditions under which damage would most likely occur to a person are 1) They were able to fit inside the microwave with the door closed and manage to turn it on. or 2) They had a very leaky microwave and stood next to it while it is running.

    It’s my opinion that what makes them dangerous to some people is that they treat them as if they are completely innocuous. It’s as if people think microwaves are driven by pixies whose dust magically heats your food (or Nazis, apparently). Alas, that is not the case. It heats food by exciting water molecules. Now, guess what you are? That’s right, a giant bag composed of tiny bags of water that contains millions of little bags of water.

    You would never think that sticking your hand on a burner would be a good idea, but that’s just exciting the water molecules in a different way–a way that smells really bad and hurts a lot. The microwaves effects are more subtle and it is able to do more partial damage because you don’t get a pain response to tell you it’s bad (if you have a leaky microwave). Since it is able to excite the molecules a little without causing pain people don’t know it’s happening. Think of it like UV radiation. You don’t have to get a sunburn for sun exposure to damage your skin, but it hasn’t been that long that understood that slathering ourselves in butter and laying on aluminum foil at noon was a bad idea.

    Also, they will damage sperm cells, and while people will find that freaky, so will riding a bike, taking hot baths and wearing tight underwear (if you’re male, obviously).

    Anyway, what I’m saying is (and now I’m just trying to beat the length of your response, and damn it, I will I have to create a bullet pointed presentation pointing out each flaw and fallacy that article embraces, is that yes, a leaky microwave oven can be harmful, but the microwaves have to get out to harm you or you have to get in.

    So don’t climb in and cook yourself and make sure you keep your hinges and seal clean. And never buy a microwave from 1973 because you think it’s cute and kitschy and use it.

    I will get more scientificky tomorrow (that’s the technical term for it). Now that the adrenaline has dissipated I’m a little drained.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  26. …did you just call me a giant bag??

    Comment by SeaKat | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  27. she also said that you retain water which is code for “you’re fat.”

    oh snap! are you going to stand idly by while she hurls waterweight-based insults at you?

    seakat vs. oneofthevoicesinmyhead

    HYDROTHUNDERDOME!!!

    Comment by DonnaMartin | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  28. SeaKat: Well, yes, but you ARE a Sea creature, so it’s a compliment really…I think.

    P.S. My earlier comment would have been longer if I had remembered to add all the words, so I’m declaring longest comment victory based on all the words that are missing.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  29. Oh, it’s ON!

    The SeaCannibal is HONGRAY and mama’s ready to git her a snack.

    Yeah, I have no idea what that means either. But it was kind of vaguely threatening-sounding, yes?

    Comment by SeaKat | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  30. Hahahaha

    ::breaks bottle:: It’s fish for dinner tonight!

    See that sounded threatening, too but I could have just christened a ship.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  31. Hahahhahahaaa! You totally made me choke on leftover birthday cake.

    MOOOOOM!! Voices tried to kill me!!!

    Comment by SeaKat | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  32. And she said I’m fat!!

    Comment by SeaKat | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  33. I’m very interested to read the play-by-play on what’s fact and what’s propaganda.

    No, I’m not a scientist, and I guess my A’s in Chemistry in high school only made me smart enough to kinda understand the principals set forth in that report these 15 years later.

    I actually read this long after my husband had convinced me to just start warming fooding up on the stove, since he preferred it that way. I thought it was interesting, and it was one more reason to make me glad that we didn’t have the microwave any longer. I had gone looking for reasons why my brain would start hurting when Diana’s microwave was turned on.

    So, please, inform me of my ignorance. I’m here to learn. 🙂

    Comment by Skaði | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  34. I tend to agree with voices’ assessment of the article. It doesn’t present a logically coherent argument. It only presents facts and pseudo-facts, and leaves it to the reader to make the connections.

    I am completely dumbfounded by the idea that there is such a thing as DC-initiated microwave energy. The fundamental nature of any electromagnetic energy is that it is produced by an accelerating electrical charge. DC does not produce accelerating electrical charges, as far as I know. The sun does not exhibit DC, as far as I know. The microwave energy that is produced by the sun is identical to that produced by any other microwave source, other than perhaps the frequencies that it comprises. The sun’s microwave energy probably does span over a range of frequencies, while a microwave oven’s energy is limited to an extremely small range. While that is true, it is not true that the sun’s microwave energy has a different effect on biological tissues (our bodies and foods). Microwave energy is microwave energy and it is potentially dangerous in large enough amounts, regardless of its source. The only reason that the sun’s microwave energy doesn’t fry us all day, every day is that the Earth’s magnetic fields protects us from it. But satellites and astronauts outside that fields are as prone to the damage caused by microwaves as we are when we use a leaky microwave oven.

    I could probably go on and on about the specifics of the fallacies in that article, but I’ll finish with my qualitative opinion. The article is not a scientific paper. It does not have a hypothesis that it attempts to disprove through experiment or observation, which is the hallmark of the scientific method. Instead, the authors appear to have already made up their mind about the dangers of microwave ovens and are simply presenting what they believe is evidence to convince you that they are right.

    One last thing about the scientific method. It’s starting to become apparent to me with every passing week that people just don’t understand it. They don’t understand that it’s a METHOD, not a set of RESULTS. The method leads to the results. But the method is a set of principles and practices that have been honed over hundreds of years and which can apply in many situations and fields of study, whether physics or chemistry or sociology or whatever. The scientific method is simply a way of proceeding from first principles and observations, via logical reasoning, towards a conclusion. That’s it. It’s not the conclusions themselves, simply the manner of arriving at them. That is why I mentioned the point about the authors not practicing that method. If they had done so and come up with a conclusion, however tentative, that microwaves are dangerous, then I would accept their findings. But they use logical fallacies and twist facts to convince the reader of their foregone conclusions. That is a perfect example of bias to the nth degree.

    Comment by WhoMee | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  35. …in other words: It’s MARKETING!!

    I’m so proud right now. (not)

    Comment by SeaKat | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  36. By the way, can I please just reiterate how AWESOME you guys all are?? I sort of half-heartedly tried to engage in some debate on another blog and the level of repartee was seriously on par with:

    OMG. You’re so wrong because everyone I know thinks what I think. *rolls eyes*

    My. GOD.

    I weep for our future. Squeers, please, for the love of intelligent discourse if nothing else, PLEASE CONSIDER BREEDING. THE STUPID PEOPLE ARE DOING IT–A LOT–AND THEY WILL RUN OUR NURSING HOMES!!!!

    At the very least, rl, WhoMee and all you other guys: donate some sperm. It’s simple, it’s fun and you can probably get to look at some new porn for free.

    I’m BEGGING. Don’t let the stupid people overrun us with sheer numbers!!!

    kljfsad;fad;kja;kadfs;kljljfsak

    Sorry. Had to bang my head on the keyboard for a bit.

    It’s ok. They’ve come with my meds now. Going to my happy place now.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  37. “It’s got what plants crave…”

    SeaKat I’m with you, I’m just not sure about that whole breeding thing. Cuz, then you have to raise the little creatures. And they always want something, and tell you what they want in high-pitched voices designed to not be easily ignored. And they always have something on their hands, which inevitably gets on whatever article of clothing you are wearing, especially if it’s your favorite new shirt, and the thing on their hands will stain it. And you can never stay out late on any given night, and apparently sleeping naked becomes problematic, and then once you get through the worse of all that, they hit puberty and decide they hate you. And if you get through all of that, you have to send them to college and watch them go through five majors before dropping out to go to art school, only to end up working on the next great politician’s campaign where they enthusiastically send you bumpber stickers while living with five other people in a two bedroom apartment and asking for a loan for their new hybrid car.

    And if they manage to get through all of that, land some sort of decent paying, yet still idealistic job, and find someone they want to breed with, they’ll have their own little screaming creatures.

    And they’ll want you to babysit because they can’t remember the last time they went to a grown up restaurant, and would you mind keeping Jr overnight? We’ll see you on Sunday…

    God. I may never have sex again (without a condom. And birth control pills. And maybe the sponge for good measure. How do men feel about the pull out method? Maybe I should just stick with a vibrator. Or date women).

    Comment by TheHobo | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  38. After reading that I’m planning to ask you out anyway Hobo.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  39. ::looks around::

    Hobo? Are you spying on me? ‘Cause you described my life really well, there!

    Comment by SeaKat | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  40. BFM: Let’s do it!

    SeaKat: I’m a tutor. That’s like a teacher with smaller classes. I also was the best older cousin aunts-and-uncles who-wanted-to-act-like-they-didn’t-have-kids-with-them could ever ask for. Also, I’ve seen that nanny show where the kids go crazy all the time.

    They say you don’t mind when it’s your own kids…

    Lie to me. That’s true, right?

    Comment by TheHobo | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  41. I can’t lie. Sometimes these little monkeys drive me crazy enough to go screaming into the night and never return.

    But then they do something so wonderful–and it’s usually something little: a look, a smile, a little hand reaching blindly up to hold mine, trusting that I’ll be there to take it–and my heart feels like it could literally burst out of my chest from the love.

    I wish there were a way to describe it w/o sounding like a sappy Hallmark card. Maybe Posh Spice can say it best:

    It’s MAY-juh.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  42. SeaKat: Or taking down the mail man for their lunch…

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  43. ::sniffle::

    Dammit, voices, now you’ve gone and made me teary-eyed!

    Comment by SeaKat | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  44. I think, like SeaKat said (sort of), kids would be less annoying if smart people who cared about parenting were more prevalent in the parent pool. Imagine a country in which parents cared about the education and behavior of their children…one in which public schools and students were held to higher standards–where teachers were respected, well paid and given the resources and enough freedom to create meaningful, interesting curricula. I think I just choked myself up a bit…

    Anyway, TMIMO, kids can be pretty awesome when raised well. Sure, even the best of them have their moments, but we all do. They just let it all hang out when they communicate a pissy mood, and who among us hasn’t been jealous of the ability to do that?

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  45. oh my oh my. such magnificent geekdom! i love it.

    NERDS/GEEKS 2012!!

    Comment by DonnaMartin | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  46. I guess we all have to remember…

    we were all little brats once too. 😛

    Comment by TheHobo | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  47. TheHobo: Don’t you stick that tongue out at me, young lady!

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  48. Child-rearing hasn’t been all that bad for me so far. I started living with my husband when his daughter just turned 4, and she’s now 9 1/2. I think we must have done something right, since she doesn’t talk back, does her chores without complaining, and accepts punishment when she’s done something wrong. Can’t ask for more than that…

    Comment by Skaði | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  49. Those were some long replies. But it was informative and I was surprised to find out pixies are nazis.

    Comment by cookiebees | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  50. HA!!

    If you’ve watched Peter Pan recently, you wouldn’t be that surprised. Tink was a right bitch.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  51. SeaKat: No doubt, but even as a kid I thought Tinkerbell was a twat. If I were Pan I would have smashed her little ass flat. Plus, It could have saved us from WWII.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  52. Yeah, but then we’d still be making popcorn by shaking a converted pie pan w/a repurposed wire hanger handle over a burner to make delicious, buttery popcorn.

    I guess what I’m saying is, you know, silver linings.

    Comment by SeaKat | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  53. SeaKat: Yeah, being in marketing, you know very well this can be turned around with a new campaign. Maybe something like “Microwave Ovens: 11 Million Jews Can’t Be Wrong.” 😉

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  54. :-O

    ::snerk!:: That was so wrong. Very, very funny. But sooooo wrong. 🙂

    Comment by SeaKat | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  55. Click to Edit!!??

    Vat ees zeees magick??

    Comment by SeaKat | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  56. Mine Gott!! Eeet’s counting down. EET’S A BOMB!

    VHERE ES MACGRUBER??

    Comment by SeaKat | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  57. Hahaha, I am adding the ability for you guys to edit your comments for a given period of time. Right now I am testing it, so I have it set to 5 minutes, but I can set it for whatever. I should add a Geek Update so people are not frightened by this new technology! 🙂

    Comment by Lily the Pink | June 3, 2009 | Reply

  58. this thread made me laugh, cry, and then laugh again. what a great way to end my night. all without ever turning on my microwave!
    We are out of popcorn.

    Comment by payter | June 5, 2009 | Reply


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