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Random Drunk Emission

Hair On The Couch Editioncute_kitty2

I love my pets, I really do. That being  said, what is up with all the hair on the furniture? Seriously, I spend 30 minutes getting that crap off and they sit there for 2 minutes and it’s completely covered again. I know a lot of you have pets, so you must share my pain. I don’t want to shave the poor bastards, so I just have to spend every day extracting cat hair from various surfaces. It’s OK though, because they are cute and I’m fairly certain they don’t know they are annoying the crap out of me by leaving a mess. Damn you and your cuteness cats!


May 28, 2009 - Posted by | Random Drunk Emissions | ,


  1. Everytime I vacuum it sucks up enough dog hair to make a whole other dog. How is my pet not bald?

    Comment by Cristal Methodd | May 28, 2009 | Reply

  2. The cushions on the back of my couch are really more just like pillows and my cats love to lay on them. I had no idea how much fur was accumulating behind them until I had a friend over. She had her hand on the back of the couch and it slipped behind the pillow and all of a sudden she pulled out this GIANT fur ball with a horrified look on her face. I was so embarrassed. Vacuuming the pillows is now SOP at my house. The Bissell Pet Hair Eraser is fabulous!

    Comment by oilybohunk7 | May 28, 2009 | Reply

  3. Same here. Seriously? I’ve given up on the furniture. We have hardwoods, luckily, so I just sweep and vacuum often to keep the floor looking reasonably clean.

    [It helps that we don’t allow my dogs on the furniture b/c the Husky had some problems accepting that we were the Alpha. What a surprise, huh? 😉 ]

    Comment by SeaKat | May 28, 2009 | Reply

  4. If choo want chore tog to tink you are te Alpha, choo muss enforce it efery time te tog tinks he is te Alpha.

    Hokay. That is all. Pie pie.

    Comment by Cesar, Te Tog Whisporor | May 28, 2009 | Reply

  5. Our dog isn’t really allowed on the furniture either (unless invited, usually by me at night for some good rubbin’), but he doesn’t shed anyway. Score 1 for our dog.

    Speaking of, (this is the one we rescued from the mean kid) we were supposed to be getting papers and shot records from the lady that had them. She told me his rabies was due on his birthday, gave me the name of his vet etc. Well, we never could get the shot records, and without a rabies tag we can’t get him groomed. SO, I finally tracked down the vet today. They have seen him ONCE – in December 2007. And he never had any shots. On top of that, my mom kept him when we went out of town, and she found out he had worms. And yesterday he puked for no reason, and this morning he wouldn’t eat. Considering I just found out he’s practically NEVER seen a vet, and knowing his condition when we got him – we’re headed to the vet for a complete work up THIS WEEK. Poor thing. All my mom can say is she hopes he isn’t SICK sick. We do too…my son is pretty attached! (me too…he’s pretty darn cute…)

    Anyway, that’s my story of the day. It has me ranting and wanting to brick bad pet owners in the face. I never considered myself a GOOD pet owner in my younger years…I always got myself in over my head, and ended up having to find a new home for my dogs…but they went to the vet and the groomers consistently, and I played with them, etc. I never NEGLECTED my dogs. I hate pet neglectors.

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | May 28, 2009 | Reply

  6. Cesar, TTW:



    Oh, man.

    Pie, Pie.


    I’m stealing that.

    Oh, man. That’s the best abs workout I’ve gotten since…Hmmm. Labor. 🙂

    Comment by SeaKat | May 28, 2009 | Reply

  7. Tip o’ the day: Some dogs have fur, some have hair. Fur grows to a certain length and then reliably falls out. Over and over. This is shedding. Dogs with hair, in comparison, have coats that just grow pretty much forever, and must be trimmed, groomed, etc., just like humans. Yes, they shed too, but not more than your average pony-tail wearing husband. (which is more than you’d think, I’ve found out)
    Poodles, yorkies, and those little dogs that look like silky dustmops, are good examples of the non-shedders.
    If there is a form of non-shedding cat, I don’t know about it. I fervently wish that my cat was a magical non-shedding breed, but alas, it has yet to be so. And since she thinks that brushes were invented specially to torture her, she only tolerates proactive anti-shedding activities for a few minutes before escaping my evil clutches to… go shed where I can’t reach her, usually. Out of extra stress brought on from the wielding of the b-r-u-s-h.
    I can’t win.

    Comment by Roxydarling | May 28, 2009 | Reply

  8. Oh yeah, I forgot… Gillette (or some other razor co.) has a series of web videos for men (cartoons men, thankfully) on how to shave various parts of your body. The concept of “trimming the undergrowth to make the tree look taller” is a central theme of one very special episode.
    So, Deimos, I guess there’s not a current episode that could help your shaving the cat dilemma, but I’ll keep my ear to the ground in case they decide to branch out to a companion series for women.
    See, I didn’t go there. Not really.

    Comment by Roxydarling | May 28, 2009 | Reply

  9. Cindy Pie is a short hair chihuahua so her shedding is minor. Nachos is some weird dog breed that I highly doubt is what the breeder said he is. He’s a furry little bastard but doesn’t shed like a normal furry dog. I’m convinced he’s from another planet. He does have a super cool beard and mustache. He’s kind of french looking. So I have no idea why his name is not Frenchie instead of Nachos.

    Comment by cookiebees | May 28, 2009 | Reply

  10. No no no…lets go back to The Bissell Pet Hair Eraser.


    And I have two cats and hard wood floors and I CAN NOT seem to keep those floor fur free. Or any of my clothing, or my pillows, or my bed…

    Comment by TheHobo | May 28, 2009 | Reply

  11. It is a magical, wonderful vacuum. The first couple times I vacuumed with it I was HORRIFIED by how much more shite it picked up than my old vacuum. I highly recommend it! It is under $200.00 as well!

    Another lovely invention is the Pledge Fabric Sweeper. It works SO well even though it is pretty cheap and it looks like there is nothing to it. It would be reusable forever if those crafty bastards from Pledge didn’t glue the hair catcher to the brushes.

    Comment by oilybohunk7 | May 28, 2009 | Reply

  12. I’m fostering a dog now, and he sheds constantly! I have hardwood floors and ususally sweep the house about 3 times a day. Each time I come up with a gigantic ball of fur. He’s a border collie mix so he’s got a LOT of hair, and since I’m not used to having a dog in the house, all this fur is really getting to me.

    I think if he were mine for keeps I’d invest in something like this, but for now I just can’t see spending all that money. I think I’ll stick to sweeping and/or getting a Swiffer.

    Comment by blah | May 29, 2009 | Reply

  13. With 4 cats I generate a cat a day in fur. I use a Swiffer (I also have hardwood floors) and think it’s awesome in mop form. Also, these are pretty wonderful http://www.3m.com/brands/scotch/furfighter/ TMIMO. I want a Dyson, but won’t spend the money, so until I become rich or less cheap, this works.

    Comment by Lily the Pink | May 29, 2009 | Reply

  14. Nair. Not just for legs anymore 😉

    Comment by XENU | May 29, 2009 | Reply

  15. Lily, I have a Dyson Animal and it was worth every penny. Actually, it was worth almost all the pennies, but a few of them would have been better spent on figuring out a way to make the vacuum function without human involvement. My dog is short-haired but sheds like a monkey with the mange, and it is the only thing that will get those stupid stiff hairs out of my area rugs. And it also comes with lots of great attachments so I can basically get into, around, and under any piece of furniture or corner. It’s pretty awesome.

    But don’t be fooled – I’m definitely not rich. I used part of my tax refund to be buy it. It was last year’s “Sorry You’re Single on Valentine’s Day, Again” gift to myself.

    Comment by Helen Skor | June 2, 2009 | Reply

  16. Helen: Yeah, I remember when I used to give myself gifts that came with attachments for Valentine’s Day. Heyoooo. 🙂

    On a more serious note, I will have to look into it, thanks. Most everyone I know with some version of the Dyson says similar things, so that is encouraging. I have allergies and asthma and my worst allergy is dustmites and Dyson has a mattress attachment and an allergy and asthma attachment kit, so at some point I know I will give in. It’s all a matter of when. I think I need a Dyson coupon. Anyone? 😉

    Comment by Lily the Pink | June 2, 2009 | Reply

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