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Two-Eyed Snake Bites One-Eyed Snake

Rats not the only reason to spot before you squat

clearing-a-clogged-toilet-with-a-snake1We really don’t know shit about snakes do we? First they are hauling people up trees,  then escaping on planes,  and now they are biting genitalia. A 51-year-old Taiwanese man was sitting down for some leisurely relief when he got his bits nipped by some snake with boundary issues. He reacted by standing up (as one would) and, “when he looked down, he saw the big snake,” the China Times reported. “After that he saw the reptile,” added the 12-year-old in my head.

The ailing Peter and his owner went to the Puli Christian Hospital for treatment. The hospital wanted to hold him until the risk of infection had passed. “A snake’s mouth isn’t always clean,” explained the director of the hospital. “They’re the whores of the reptilian world,” added the 15-year-old in my head. Oddly, the director didn’t want to be named in the article. I suppose s/he was trying to avoid becoming a known specialist in the area of penis bites.

Apparently, local television stations showed the snake being taken from the toilet. I have to applaud their news-hounding ability as the snake was still in the bowl. The snake is, reportedly, a type of rat snake. Now you may catch yourself thinking, “well that makes sense. If I were looking for a tasty rat, I would look in toilets too.” Don’t be a rube. That snake was just being bi-species-curious and lashed out when he started feeling a little too homo sapien. Asshole.


May 18, 2009 - Posted by | News You May or May Not Use, What the Crap!? | , , , , ,


  1. brilliant.

    Comment by DonnaMartin | May 18, 2009 | Reply

  2. It could have been worse.

    It could have been Dick Chenney coming up out of the bowl.
    I bet that Snake’s mouth isn’t always clean either.

    I’m just saying.

    Comment by queencrone | May 18, 2009 | Reply

  3. Actually, that might make a good commercial for Orbit Gum.

    Comment by queencrone | May 18, 2009 | Reply

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