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Angry Black Lady Chronicles

This Just In: People Are Idiots

ts-people-are-idiots1You know what? I’ve had it up to HERE (::lifts arm as high as she can which, sadly, is not very high as Angry Black Lady is practically a midget–sorry–little person::) with morons, idiots, and douchebags.

Idiocy is running rampant among the American population. Forget about swine flu. The worst that swine flu can do is kill you. Idiocy, on the other hand, is a seemingly airborne virus that is spreading from person to person, turning each of those persons into a moron, each more moronic than the last. Idiocy isn’t a disease that kills. Sadly, no. It is a disease that turns a nation of formerly intelligent individuals into a multiplying mass of moronic mouth-breathers.

Now what form of idiocy is most distressing to Angry Black Lady right now?

The idiots who throw around the term “freedom of speech” and “First Amendment” without having a clue what the fuck it is they are talking about.

You can see idiocy on TV: Carrie Prejean, that dumbass who has gotten herself into a heap of trouble over her “opposite marriage” shenanigans, had this to say at a press conference last week:

My grandfather served under General Patton World War II. He never spoke about the Battle of the Bulge that he participated in as rifleman…. On April 19, on that stage, I exercised my freedom of speech. And I was punished for doing so. This should not happen in America. It undermines the constitutional rights for which my grandfather fought for.

(First of all, dumbass, you weren’t exercising your freedom of speech. You were answering a question for a beauty pageant.  Second of all, dumbass, you weren’t punished for it. You just lost the goddamn pageant and people called you a dumbass on TV.)

You can also see idiocy in print: Some nitwit who calls herself Melanie Morgan standing up for poor wittle Cawwie Pwejean:

Leo Penn, the father of famous actor Sean Penn, was hauled before the House Committee on Un-American Activities (the McCarthy hearings) during the 1950s and harassed, spied upon and ultimately blacklisted for his political views (he attended a pro-union meeting called to support other black- listees.)

He refused to accuse others, and lost his livelihood for a period of time, but went on to direct many TV shows including Star Trek, The Law and Mr. Jones, and I Spy.

Now Carrie Prejean, beauty queen and determined supporter of marriage between a man and a woman, finds herself smeared on the Internet, castigated in public, on TV, (Chelsea Handler on E! channel has taken aim with a vicious gleam in her vodka-stoked eyes) and her parents have been dragged through the mud as well.

So where are the free-speech warriors? How about Sean Penn and the rest of the Hollywood elitists who think the First Amendment was written solely for their benefit? …

Penn, who played Harvey Milk in the film “Milk,” for which he won an Oscar, is probably too biased to see that the Founding Fathers weren’t just thinking of him and his high-brow leftists when they stood for freedom of expression for EVERYBODY.

Guess what, Sean. Because you have the right to rant and rave about your radical agenda, Ms. Prejean also gets to use words that are so offensive to you and Perez Hilton, whose mouth is filthier than a latrine in a high school locker room.

Guess what, Melanie?  You’re a fucking idiot.   Whenever I read an article that uses the words “elitists” and “high-brow leftists,” my head explodes because the articles are usually penned by neo-conservative religious right fucktards. Sure, Melanie. Sean Penn’s agenda of equality for everyone is radical. Get bent, lady.  (Sidenote: Who says get bent anymore?  I do.  That’s who.)

ts-firstamendmentCarrie and Melanie, this next bit is for you (and all the dumbasses who whine about their “freedom of speech” when they say some stupid bigoted shit and are called out for it), so listen carefully (I’m going to yell):

THE FIRST AMENDMENT, AND MOST STATE CONSTITUTIONS PROHIBIT GOVERNMENTAL ENTITIES FROM ABRIDGING AN INDIVIDUAL’S RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH.

Meaning, Melanie, when Leo Penn was hauled into Congress during the McCarthy era and harassed and spied on, that was an abridgment of his freedom of speech. because he was punished (subject to hearings) by the U.S. government for his political views.

Sean Penn, Chelsea Handler, and other members of the Hollywood or media elite are not governmental entities, and what Carrie seems to think is punishment (these “elitists” calling her on her bullshit) is actually an exercise of their right to speak without government intrusion.  So, Melanie?  Do go read the Constitution and STFU until you’ve figured it out.

And Carrie, if you had said “I hate gay people” and then the Feds swooped in, put a black bag over your head, sent you to Gitmo, then put you in a space ship and shot you out into space, where you would be doomed to live out your stupid life alone–thankfully removing you from the gene pool–without chance of passing your idiocy on to anyone else, well, that would be an abridgment of your freedom of speech. It would also be exactly awesome.

But losing a stupid beauty pageant or even having Perez Hilton talk shit about you on his blog, IS NOT AN ABRIDGMENT OF YOUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH. Sure, Perez fancies himself a monarch of some sort (indeed he is–the Queen of Doosh), he is still a private person exercising his right to say what the hell he wants.

And your loss of the crown is not punishment either. It’s a corporate decision to not give you the title of Hottest Girl in America With Fake Hooters. Was it your answer to Perez’s question that lost you the crown? Maybe. Or maybe you just fucking LOST because you fucking SUCK.

I swear to Cruise, I hate people sometimes.



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May 18, 2009 - Posted by | Angry Black Lady Chronicles, Culture Critic, Doosh Watch 2009, Politiks | , , , , , , , , , , ,

12 Comments »

  1. If the worst Carrie Prejean faces in her life is public criticism, ridicule and the indignity of placing second in a national beauty pageant, she has a rather charmed life. But then she’s too effing stupid to realize that.

    Comment by Run-DMS | May 18, 2009 | Reply

  2. She was punished!?!? How the hell was she punished?

    I mean, even if her statement lost her the crown, isn’t that the point? You answer the questions the way you choose to, and the judges judge you FOR YOUR ANSWERS. Know your judges and answer accordingly or else risk your crown. She spoke her mind and the judges didn’t agree–end of story.

    Now, from what I hear, her racy photos are what SHOULD have stripped her of her title, since other contestants have lost their titles for the same sort of thing.

    But seriously, I also hate people sometimes. Well, people like her.

    Comment by TheHobo | May 18, 2009 | Reply

  3. This made my day.

    Comment by MC Poetry | May 18, 2009 | Reply

  4. I blame the Hulu Aliens. They are turning our brains to mush.

    (Clearly, stopthemadness is immune to the Hulu Aliens. This is a superlative post!!!!)

    Comment by queencrone | May 18, 2009 | Reply

  5. “get bent” I’ve missed that term thanks for bringing it back. You gotta give it up for this perez guy, he obviously saw this “fucktard” (brilliant) coming when he asked that question.

    Comment by drgnsldr | May 18, 2009 | Reply

  6. Looking from the outside in I see no freedom of any kind in the USA (now or very little in the past)freedom is a absolute. It’s just something you have been told since you were a kid (greatest richest freest most powerful and so on)And always right.

    Comment by chelsea | May 19, 2009 | Reply

  7. If gay people want to get married, great, why not. is how I feel,but I also support and respect Miss Calf. for saying what she felt.

    Comment by chelsea | May 19, 2009 | Reply

  8. I love you Angry Black Lady. You are spot on. I love it when these idiots say something controversial, get the backlash, then try to defend themselves with the First Amendment card. If you said it, you said it. That’s fine, just own it. Don’t hide behind “grandpa who fought in the war.” Mine did, too, so if I want to tell you that you’re a doosh, then I will.

    Comment by TT2 | May 19, 2009 | Reply

  9. Speaking of people being idiots, a couple of weeks ago I called about a treadmill someone was selling and I asked the lady if it was the kind you can fold up. She said “no its the kind that you walk on”. I waited for her to laugh. She didnt but I did. “oh…oh.. ok thanks anyway”.

    I actually agree with you Chelsea, but then she should have stfu.

    Comment by cooter jean | May 19, 2009 | Reply

  10. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt – Abraham Lincoln.

    Also, I still love the use the phrase “get bent”.

    Comment by oilybohunk7 | May 19, 2009 | Reply

  11. Wait, you mean the Interwebz isn’t a branch of government? I thought I was Secretary of the Blogterior! I had a tag-line and everything (for the action figure and lunch box line): Bloggers, like McCarthy but younger!

    Comment by HolyChow | May 19, 2009 | Reply

  12. I agree with you chelsea. She had the right to say what she felt. And people have the right to say what they feel about what she said.

    Her bitchassedness comes from the fact that once she got called out for what she said, she cried freedom of speech, starting weeping about America and her grandfather. It’s not a freedom of speech issue. And I’m not really sure what the hell her grandfather has to do with anything.

    But, if it is relevant, and I’m mistaken about that (unlikely), then my great uncle fought in the Battle of the Bulge to protect my right to call her a dumbass. And then he joined Veterans for Peace. And then he was called un-American during the McCarthy Era.

    The same bullshit is going on now: “You’re anti-torture? Why do you hate America? I never heard you complain when the Islamofascists murdered our soldiers. What about the 3000 Americans who were killed on 9/11? They don’t matter?”

    Whatever. You can’t argue with people who have no capability of rational thought.

    (I’m not referring to you, I’m referring to all the idiots out there.)

    Comment by stopthemadness | May 19, 2009 | Reply


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