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Prepare to Stick Pencils in Your Ears

And rip out your own eyeballs and shake your fists

These two crazy kids are at it again. Hard core “Christian” Heidi Montag, SCUZE me… Heidi Montag Pratt has just released a new music video for “blackout.” Sound familiar? The Britney Spears wannabe and her forever dooshy husband are pimping out her new song via iTunes. Ready to make a purchase?


May 12, 2009 - Posted by | Celebrity Shenanigans, Doosh Watch 2009 | , ,


  1. So… I don’t know if it’s a bad connection on my end, or bad editing on their end, but, the video is so out of sync with the song that it seems like a totally different song. It also makes her bad lip-syncing much more apparent. I couldn’t make it through the entire thing cuz I ran out of pencils.

    Comment by Roxydarling | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  2. Before another piece of me dies, I need to say when I opened Firefox to TS! There was just enough of the video showing for me to think “Oh, fuck. We’re posting videos from “YouPorn.com” now????

    And now I watch and die…

    Comment by Mae | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  3. 22 seconds. I made it 22 seconds. Even the beat is fucking terrible. Why does she have to be in a bikini and on a beach in every video? Really the last person to be able to pull that off was… I don’t know Janet Jackson or something ::looks to the side as if to have a sidekick to ask questions to:: Was she in a bikini in “Love will never do?” Oh, no, it was a cropped spaghetti strapped tank and mom jeans.

    Looking a that video now.. Man, the lip syncing was horrible.

    Comment by Mae | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  4. Conclusive evidence she’s Jenna Jameson’s illegitimate daughter.

    Comment by vodkafanta | May 12, 2009 | Reply


    Comment by DonnaMartin | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  6. She is the voice of a new generation. Bravo Heidi! Jesus loves you… for now.

    Comment by Ann Coulter | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  7. Am I insane or are her breasts fake? I know she’s young, but I kept watching for movement, and with all her writing, I don’t think I ever saw her breasts move. Also, she never had to adjust that bikini. The canyon between them never shrunk…

    Real breasts move, right?

    It’s getting so hard to tell these days…

    So distracted by her breasts and whorish outfit it took me a while to realize that the song was about going off to have sex…

    Super Christian.

    Comment by TheHobo | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  8. *writhing, not writing. I swear they didn’t even float in the water.

    Maybe *mine* are the mutant breasts…

    Comment by TheHobo | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  9. I don’t have a doubt in my mind – they’re fake.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  10. Believe it or not, this was still better than Brooke Hogan’s “Fallin’ ” video.

    That was just… oh, man. I think I have PTSD just thinking about it.

    ::crawls under desk, assumes fetal position::

    Someone… hold me?

    Comment by SeaKat | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  11. SeaKat, we’re here for you babe.

    I recommend that every time an American star disappoints you, you turn to British comedy.

    Try Shameless, The IT Crowd, Spaced, the original Coupling, the original Office…

    Or maybe even just an Eddie Izzard comedy special…

    Death or Cake!

    It will all be okay.

    Comment by TheHobo | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  12. I love SPACED!!!!

    Some British friends introduced me to it, and afterwards I watched Sean of the Dead on DVD. I squealed like Mariah Carey at a Hello Kitty convention when Sean and his crew ran into the gal from Spaced and her crew!

    I think I’ve seen bits of Coupling on US BBC. Was there an episode where one of the guys thinks he has (or had) testicular cancer and he dreams that he’s being chased down the street by a GIANT testicle? If so, that was fricking hilarious!!

    Comment by SeaKat | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  13. I take it, I’m the only one who watches The Hills around here?

    Comment by rumour has it | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  14. Another crapterpiece by the Pratts. But they’ve come along way from the first video. They managed to not leave the boombox in the video this time. That’s the only positive thing I can think of.

    No, wait. Her hair looks just as shiny and synthetic ab Barbies. Yay.

    Comment by cookiebees | May 13, 2009 | Reply

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