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Mother of God, NO!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you MC Douchebag

ts-spencer-prattIf you are not sitting down, please do so now. If you are holding something sharp you might want to put it down, so you aren’t tempted to hurt yourself. OK, here we go.

Spencer Pratt just released a rap song. I’ll give you a minute to let that sink in.

Everyone’s least favorite Ken doll has picked up the microphone to promote his appearance on NBC’s reality show I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. Spencer has pulled some asshattery before, but this is just too much. This has to be a sign of the apocalypse. For fuck’s sake, he makes Vanilla Ice look like he’s straight outta Compton. We the people of the planet Earth cannot let this stand. He must be stopped, and I have a plan.

So here is what we have to do. We tell the west coast rappers, Spencer killed Tupac and then tell the east coast rappers he iced Biggie. Then we sit back and wait. If we are lucky Heidi will get caught in the crossfire.

It could work.


May 12, 2009 - Posted by | Daily Whims, Doosh Watch 2009 | , , , , , , ,


  1. Of course it debuted on “On Air with Ryan Seacrest.” The asshattery in that room must have been out of control.

    Apocalypse, indeed.

    Comment by vodkafanta | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  2. I heard the Ryan Seacrest recording yesterday. Anyone who called in and wanted to say the song w as crap, they just hung up on. Sponsorship is the coolest!

    Comment by baby fish mouth | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  3. So, not MC Fleshbeard? Too bad!

    Comment by HolyChow | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  4. He’s rapping to happy hard core? (from the sound of the intro)

    Actually, speed this song up and it would be a fantastic happy hard core song. He sort of sounds like a chipmunk already.

    Comment by TheHobo | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  5. My thoughts in the order they came:

    oh. my. god.

    did he just say SWAG?? I thought Fergie was the only white person that could get away with that…

    did he say he’s “twiting the facts”? really? twitting?

    if he rapped any slower he’d sound like a screw chipmunk… (for those that don’t know “screw” – it started in Houston, and they slow the music and vocals way down so it’s really deep voiced and slow – and shitty if you ask me)

    you know on the gay post, the theory of “doth protest too much” – and the more you say it, the less likely you ARE it? well – how many times did he say he was a celebrity? *wink wink nudge nudge*

    That was awful. AWFUL. I’m 100% on board for renewing gang hatred, if it involves S.Pratt.

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  6. I read too much British junk. I’m used to “prat” meaning something unflattering, somewhere between ass and idiot, or a combination of both. How has this not caught on in America? I mean, we have a walking, same-named, example right here. Don’t let the extra “t” throw you off, in this case it obviously must be silent.

    Comment by Roxydarling | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  7. AdmittedlyAddicted: Advertising Psychology Rule 1: “Repeat it loudly and often and people will remember it.” He’s the Billy Mays of self-promotion.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  8. Too bad for him that Roxydarling’s right. Whenever I hear his name it reaffirms what an assinine dick he is.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  9. I agree with Roxydarling. He truly emulates his name.

    Comment by rumour has it | May 12, 2009 | Reply

  10. DOOSH!!!

    Comment by TT2 | May 13, 2009 | Reply

  11. PRATT!!!

    That felt good. Oooh. I like that!

    Comment by TheHobo | May 14, 2009 | Reply

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