uncollectedminds

Just another WordPress.com weblog

THUNDERDOME!!!

International Plague Edition

As we all know, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt recently “honeymooned” in Mexico… can you honeymoon if you’re not married? Are they actually married now? Are either of them legally mentally capable of consenting to marriage? Anyway, whatever the reason, they were recently in Mexico. Some of us thought this was dangerous. Some thought it was a publicity stunt. Others, like Keeblerkahn, saw an opportunity.

It’s too early to know whether or not the couple contracted swine flu. But it’s never too early to wildly speculate what would happen if they did.

And so, we bring you this week’s THUNDERDOME!!!: International Plague Edition.

heidipig-1-1

Heidi Montag/Spencer Pratt vs the H1N1 virus

Google Search Results

7.5 million (est) vs. 17.4 million

Much like the actual number of H1N1 cases, the true number of google search results for Montag/Pratt can only be guessed at. As a couple, they bring in a humiliatingly puny 2.4 million. But if you google them individually and add together, it gives the marginally more respectable 7.5 million. Either way, given the swine flu’s relatively short period of media exposure, and its complete numerical pwnage in this category, it’s easy to see: H1N1 handily takes this round.

Number of countries infested (Minimum)

38 vs. 24

The Montag/Pratt epidemic has so far proven to be more mobile, and therefore more volatile, than H1N1. Through MTV and its affiliates, their antics have been broadcast into 38 countries. The internet has effectively rendered them airborne; now, they can hardly be contained. They will continue to spread freely throughout the world, until they are stopped. H1N1 has been detected in only 24 countries so far. In this round, Montag/Pratt prove to be the more dangerous foe.

Powerful Friends

John McCain vs. Keeblerkahn

It’s a well documented fact that former presidential candidate John McCain had a boner level of admiration for Heidi’s implants acting and singing abilities. He said he was “honored” to have her endorsement during the election. Since then, his daughter Meghan also has been seen with Heidi. But our very own Keeblerkahn has formed a blood pact with the pigs . And if the pigs know what’s good for them, they’ll honor their end of the bargain. Keebler is a powerful man, and takes no porcine prisoners. So as long as they cooperate, the pigs have the most powerful friend in Keebler.

The winner of this week’s THUNDERDOME!!! is the H1N1 virus! Due to its incredible media presence, and its unholy alliance with Keeblerkahn, the swine flu is a force that can’t be beat. Now, let’s all start wishin’ and hopin’, and waiting for Heidi and Spencer to cough.

Got any ideas for next week’s Thunderdome!!!? Leave them in the comments.

Advertisements

May 8, 2009 - Posted by | Thunderdome! | , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. It’s not looking good for the pork nation. They missed their chance in Mexico. They still have a chance to get them in Costa Rica but they need to get there act together.

    Comment by KeeblerKahn | May 10, 2009 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: