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Was This Old Guy Crazy?

Probably! But That Didn’t Make Him Not Sexy!ts-wilhelm-reich

This dude, Wilhelm Reich, believed that by harnessing orgasmic energy (which he called “Orgone,” presumably because he got tired of people breaking into giggle fits every time he called it “orgasmic energy”) he could do things like cure cancer and control the weather.

He also believed that “Orgone” is plentiful in all forms of bio-matter – humans, flora, fauna, earth. I’m still not sure if that means he believed that the earth has orgasms, but I guess volcanic eruptions, the Old Faithful geyser and various other naturally occurring events might be enough to make one think so.

He developed a nifty thing called “The Orgone Box,” which one would sit in while “Orgonic radiation” from the world’s Orgonic energy was gathered and then focused in one’s body. The purpose of this, to make a long story short, was to both keep ya from goin’ crazy AND cure your cancer and shit by improving your orgiastic potency. WHAT’S NOT TO LIKE! Besides the whole sitting in a box for Xenu knows how long, but whatever. Shock treatment and chemo aren’t a walk in the park either, I’m told.

He also developed THIS mad-scientisty machine called “The Cloudbuster.” Yeah! He called it that! It’s scientific! The Cloudbuster was made to suck the Orgone energy out of clouds, thereby MAKING IT RAIN! So how come we aren’t using this thing now? Possibly because it doesn’t work. Who cares! It looks AWESOME and I wish I had one.

In 1954, the FDA issued a complaint for an injunction against Reich (formerly a card-carrying Communist Party member) for selling the Orgone Box to his patients, claiming that he had made misleading statements about the product. The judge issued an injunction that ordered all Orgone Accumulators and Orgone-related publications be destroyed. Reich was arrested that same year when an associate of his was found to still have an undestroyed Orgone Box. Reich died in prison two years later – from a broken heart (that’s a heart attack, to you unfeeling bastards) days before his parole hearing.

Why do I care about this fella? Well, here ya go!

A) I think he meant well. Being crazy doesn’t mean you can’t be sincere.
B) Come on. Dude was hot. He was the Marlon Brando, or – dare I say it? I do! – the BALE! of Mad Scientists.
C) I can’t get over the fact that this dude went to JAIL, here in Amerka, for this. Can you imagine if all the Reiki healers and Scientologists went to JAIL? Yeah, I can too, but that doesn’t mean it would be RIGHT.

Here’s a video of Kate Bush’s “Cloudbusting,” which she wrote from Reich’s son’s point of view. And yes, that is Donald Sutherland as Wilhelm Reich. What WON’T that guy do for a paycheck? Incidentally, “Orgonon” is the last place Reich lived before he went to jail – it’s located near Rangely Lakes in my home state of Maine. It is also where I may or may not have allegedly made out with a bronze bust of Reich.


May 4, 2009 - Posted by | Daily Whims | , , ,


  1. That is about the best trick to get in someonees pants that I’ve ever heard. Didn’t he realize that looking like Brandon Flowers was plenty enough to make women want to you know what with his energy?

    Comment by baby fish mouth | May 4, 2009 | Reply

  2. An more importantly you probably wouldn’t need batteries for vibrators anymore. He was a with ideas far beyond his time. Why do they always kill the unicorns?

    Comment by cookiebees | May 4, 2009 | Reply

  3. His invention looked like the Jolly Green Giant’s hair pick.

    Comment by SeaKat | May 8, 2009 | Reply

  4. And that is why I love him. For his Jolly Green Giant hairpick, which I would love to own… PLUS, dude was SEXY! Don’t deny it, people. That Mad Scientist was HOT.

    Comment by Sarah | May 15, 2009 | Reply

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