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Miss California Cashes in on the Controversy

Carrie Prejean joins the fight against gay marriagets-miss-california1

Miss California, Carrie Prejean, stopped by The Today Show to talk to Matt Lauer and announce she’ll be joining the National Organization for Marriage and their “Gathering Storm” in Washington to campaign against gay marriage.

I seem to recall someone predicting that the Religious Reich would pick up Carrie Prejean as their new poster girl.

Oh yeah, it was ME.

I place the entire blame for this on Perez Hilton. He handed the people who run the National Organization for Marriage a new mouthpiece on a sliver platter.  If you are not familiar with the National Organization for Marriage they are the group behind the “Gathering Storm” ad.

It seems in the eyes of the National Organization for Marriage, if gay people are allowed to marry, it could be disastrous. Letting Steve and Mike and Linda and Christina get married will lead to the end of Christian values and the end of days. I would think the Religious Reich would be all over this. They are all about going up to Heaven with Jesus. It would seem to be in their best interest to let gay people get married and speed the process along. I don’t know why they aren’t driving gay people to the chapel so the world can end in a Michael Bay blaze of glory.

Normal people (not homophobic whack jobs) have jumped all over the “Gathering Storm” ad and have made their own.


I have a friend named Ann who works for the insurance industry. She once canceled the insurance policy that the Insane Clown Posse had for their tour bus. Over the years, she has schooled me in the different types of insurance coverage that exist, and the kinds of things that are and aren’t covered.  Insurance companies tend to be very conservative overall. I’m betting that in this “Gathering Storm,”  should a gay homosexual person come falling out of the sky and crashing through the roof of a National Organization for Marriage member’s home, they are going to have a tough time filing a claim on that. I imagine the response of the insurance agent is going to be something like this.

“I’m sorry, I’m looking at your policy right now and it clearly shows that you DO NOT have falling homosexual coverage. ”

So to recap: Carrie Prejean has found a way to extend her fifteen minutes of fame by standing on the rights of gay people. Perez Hilton is still a douchebag and has created an opportunistic monster. And finally, if you’re really all that concerned about the “Gathering Storm,” talk to your insurance agent today and make sure you are up-to-date on your “falling homosexual” coverage. I recommend buying the additional “flaming” coverage so that if there is any fire damage, you will have all your bases covered.

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May 1, 2009 - Posted by | Culture Critic, Doosh Watch 2009 | , , , , , , , , , , ,

27 Comments »

  1. ‘Gathering Storm’ would be a cool name for a club.

    Miracle Max could be the bartender.

    (“Have fun storming the castle”)

    Comment by queencrone | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  2. i blame Perez. HE made this a big deal. I didn’t like what she said, but he made it national news. Had he not… i bet she’d be sitting at home doing her nails and counting the calories in a lifesaver.

    Comment by madb | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  3. Good for her she gave her real opinion not what she could of said to please Perez

    Comment by chelsea | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  4. I have to agree with Madb on this one. Way to go, Perez. You fat, worthless and mindless fuck.

    Comment by Mae | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  5. ::counts how many calories are in a lifesaver::

    Comment by Chronically Constipated | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  6. ::takes them all from you and eats them::

    Comment by Mae | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  7. I had not see the NOM (and do they never spend time on the internet if that is their acronym? Nom? really?)before and it terrified me. I don’t understand how gay marriage takes away anyone’s rights…it…I….ug….KILL THE NOM! (just not the Nom monster, who is cute)

    Completely unrelated to my wrath or the brillance of the article/post: what was with Alica Silverstone’s face? I know she always talked out of side of it, but did it just get seriously worse or what? She’s looking a little rough around the edges…

    Sarah Chalke on the other hand looked, and was, awesome! Love her!

    Comment by TheHobo | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  8. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    OOH JASON LEWIS, YYYEAAHH…

    …HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Comment by baby fish mouth | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  9. Age at marriage for those who divorce in America
    Age Women Men
    Under 20 years old 27.6% 11.7%
    20 to 24 years old 36.6% 38.8%
    25 to 29 years old 16.4% 22.3%
    30 to 34 years old 8.5% 11.6%
    35 to 39 years old 5.1% 6.5%

    The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs second or third marriage
    50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.”

    According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
    The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
    The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
    The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

    The divorce rate in America for childless couples and couples with children
    According to discovery channel, couples with children have a slightly lower rate of divorce than childless couples.

    Sociologists believe that childlessness is also a common cause of divorce. The absence of children leads to loneliness and weariness and even in the United States, at least 66 per cent of all divorced couples are childless.

    I’m sorry, maybe it’s just me, but those statistics tell me that heterosexual couples fucking suck at marriage, so maybe gay/lesbian couples can get it right.

    Comment by Mae | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  10. Also, I would like to curb those assholes (miss california included) in the really, pathetically absurd and corny NOM videos.

    RAHHHHHHHHAAAAHAHHHHH MAE IS ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES!!!!!!!!

    *snaps keyboard over knee, tips over the desk and throws the monitor*

    I hate close-minded idiots and religious zealots!!!!!!!!!!
    @#$@%R@#%@#!@$!@#$!!#!@#$!@#!@#!@#

    Comment by Mae | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  11. Also, Hobo, I did catch Alicia’s “issue” too. It does look like it’s gotten worse/more noticeable.

    Comment by Mae | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  12. Mae, that’s also a good argument for allowing homosexual couples to adopt.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  13. (*let me clarify that all married and/or engaged hags and squee-ers! do not and will not fucking suck at marriage)

    Comment by Mae | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  14. Or gay or whatever I am supposed to say. I grew up always saying “homosexual” but I’ve heard it offends some people, so, I’m sorry if it did.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  15. Oh, don’t even get me started on adoption. Where’s ilnaz? She certainly knows how to make my lid blow about adoption.

    Comment by Mae | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  16. It’s encouraging to me since I’m closing in on 30 and it looks like my divorce rate goes way down after 30. Do you think you could have your first marriage after 30 and it would have a better shot?

    Also, on my screen, all my 30s are perfectly aligned. It’s a sign!

    Comment by baby fish mouth | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  17. Thailand, Mae.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  18. Gays. They are the new robots. They are out to get all us straights and replace loving heterosexual couples with legions of cyborgs.

    Also, I used to work in insurance. And Keebs is right: a gay homosexual person, falling out of the sky and crashing through the roof of a National Organization for Marriage member’s home is probably NOT covered, unless the dwelling is located within 50 feet of a railroad crossing OR on an earthquake fault.

    Comment by shu_shu | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  19. Damn it! I thought zombies were the new robots! Gays, discriminating against zombie kind.

    Comment by HolyChow | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  20. two words: laser. gays.

    in the words of manbearpig: “i’m chargin’ mah lazzzzzzors!!!!”

    i miss manbearpig.

    Comment by stopthemadness | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  21. National Organization for Marriage makes me think of other places that use faulty rhetoric in their name. I can’t think of any right now per se. But I know they’re out there and I’m getting mad about it.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  22. bfm – Swift Boat Veterans for Truth?

    Comment by Stay, see? | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  23. i finally watched the gathering storm vid, and i’m pretty sure my brain melted.

    WHAT.THE.FUCK.

    how is gay marriage taking anybody’s freedom away? and how dare they say they’re going far beyond what same sex couples want to do.

    Ah awfow[g[wnu9tg0nfdiioqi9pbgfbip’e nt3940nq v8gdzn
    pejtp’g’fv

    i need a beer.

    Comment by DonnaMartin | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  24. DM: Seriously, that kind of ignorant rhetoric makes my head explode. Hold on, I’ll get the crazy glue so we can patch yours back together.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  25. Agreed. It’s like a word salad of conservative christian buzzwords.

    Comment by shu_shu | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  26. Mae, I don’t know about how well the gays are going to do with marriage(although they definitely deserve a shot at it). You know my past experience living with a certain gay couple, and the way they’re headed their divorce decree is gonna leave em fighting over half a bottle of astroglide and custody of those two god-damn ankle biting dogs that shit in the living room. I hate bigots, but what I hate more is gays like D&J making the rest of gay community look bad. Fuck your anger is contagious!

    Comment by drgnsldr | May 1, 2009 | Reply

  27. That Funny or Die video is awesomeness. I love the transition from gay march to gay choreographed dance (and it will be good) and Jane Owen’s lip-bite at the end.

    Comment by WhoMee | May 1, 2009 | Reply


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