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Something Else

Did you just spray Febreze in here?


When God closes a door, he opens a window.

I’m not trying to get predictably literal. It’s just that this essentially means that God would remove the most pleasant way out of a situation, and provide instead an unobtainable glimpse of freedom. Did he just want there to be a smaller opportunity for freedom? Did he get himself stuck in there, and he’s a little claustrophobic? Does he just think you keep the house way too cold? Does he prefer fresh air to house air? Couldn’t he just make another door, and open that one? For that matter, can’t he just open the same door back up? If he just wants the window open, why did he have to close the door? Which is bigger? It is a sliding glass door? Does the window go to the same place the door does, or somewhere else? Why doesn’t he stop focusing attention on the window, and just make the room itself a nicer place to be?


April 23, 2009 - Posted by | Something Else |


  1. God is the Bouncer.

    Comment by queencrone | April 23, 2009 | Reply

  2. Sing it sister!

    Either of you! 🙂

    Comment by TheHobo | April 23, 2009 | Reply

  3. I think God would only open the window if you were on the first floor or there was a fire escape. He’s not THAT mean!

    Comment by Chronically Constipated | April 23, 2009 | Reply

  4. Personally, as someone who has lived through several personal tragedies, my take on God is this:

    He/She/It doesn’t really do anything. Free will rules the world, and one event leads to the next in a way that feels inevitable but is actually a lot more random than anyone is comfortable with accepting. And then this God-like force looks at the tragic result and goes, “I’m sorry. Here’s some love. If you really wanted to, you could probably learn some sort of lesson from this, give it meaning after the fact.”

    And a lot of us do. And some of us don’t. And some of us are egocentric enough to think the tragedy was created just FOR the lesson.

    Not me. I don’t like to think God is that cruel.

    He/She/It isn’t opening or closing anything. He/She/It only promises to be there when we notice doors closed and windows open, and want some help dealing with it all.

    Comment by TheHobo | April 23, 2009 | Reply

  5. That was pretty beautiful, TheHobo.

    And in the future, know that I consider the word “shim” a welcome alternative to having to type it all out. Even if you have to call God a shim. It’s probably better than shemale.

    Comment by sar | April 23, 2009 | Reply

  6. Hobo, you just put into words exactly what I think about God. That was pretty awesome.

    And sar, wouldn’t it be shit instead of shim? I’m not getting where the “m” comes from.

    Comment by Helen Skor | April 23, 2009 | Reply

  7. She + him. It’s very convenient to change “he” to “him,” I know.

    As much as I love that you put together “shit” I do have to say it probably wouldn’t be considered the best idea to start calling God that. Or anyone, really.

    Comment by sar | April 23, 2009 | Reply

  8. I’m gonna have to agree with not calling God shit. Just in case I’m wrong about how much actual action Shim takes.

    Comment by TheHobo | April 24, 2009 | Reply

  9. what does he /she need so many of us for

    Comment by chelsea | April 24, 2009 | Reply

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