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Random Drunk Emission

Beer Edition

I really enjoy dark beer but recently I’ve found myself drinking the likes of Coors and Michelob Ultra. These aren’t bad beers, but they’re not as potent or tasty as their dark counterparts. Why is it that light beer is only 8 bucks for a 12-pack, but dark is at least $11? It no secret that I enjoy my alcoholic beverages; after all, I have a weekly column entitled “Random Drunk Emissions.” So it’s very sad when I resort to drinking cheaper, lighter beer to save cash. May this economy “down in flames.”

Beer is just the tip of the iceberg. So many people need so many things right now, but they don’t have the money because they don’t have the jobs. It’s sad that there’s all this suffering yet every news channel has every detail about Obama’s new puppy. We like to distract ourselves from the really shitty things; reality hasn’t been fun for a while now, so our beer budgets go up while our income goes down. At some point escapism isn’t going to be enough and I fear what will happen when it comes to that point. Now I find myself thinking too deeply on such things, so I’m going to pet my cat, drink my beer and watch Squidbillies. Peace be with you, and may you be excellent to each other because everybody needs some excellence in their lives right now.

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April 17, 2009 - Posted by | Random Drunk Emissions | , , , , ,

15 Comments »

  1. I drink the michelob ultra and other light beers. Not due to the economy. But for the sake of my ass and those who have to see it in the downdog position. There’s nothing worse than someone splitting some lycra in the inverted position. Cheers.

    Comment by cookiebees | April 17, 2009 | Reply

  2. A good friend of mine makes excellent dark beers. Maybe you could look into brewing? He seems to really enjoy the process.

    Comment by Skaði | April 17, 2009 | Reply

  3. My husband loves brewing beer. He has made some really nice ones, too.

    Warning– you may end up, like me, with an almond-colored fridge from 1987 that has keg taps drilled through the door. He MacGyvered a kegerator.

    Comment by SeaKat | April 17, 2009 | Reply

  4. I’ll just stick with my hard booze thank you very much. The only time I drink beer is at sporting events.

    Comment by Helen Skor | April 17, 2009 | Reply

  5. I like both those beers. I think Coors gets me the drunkest of all the, you know, over-the-counter beers.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | April 17, 2009 | Reply

  6. A weird thing I’ve noticed regarding beer: the shittier it is, the shittier it gets you. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten plowed on Guinness, but The Beast kills me in the face every time.
    Science!

    Comment by Sarah | April 17, 2009 | Reply

  7. Hahahaha..science!…nice

    Comment by baby fish mouth | April 17, 2009 | Reply

  8. In college, my team captain used to buy kegs and not tell us they were Ice beer because they thought it was funny. Of course, as a boozing champion, I could tell the difference. But naturally, I would imbibe the Natty Ice even quicker. Because, you know, I hate my liver.

    Comment by Chronically Constipated | April 17, 2009 | Reply

  9. Coors, Coors all the way. Why? Because there isn’t another beer that tells me when its cold enough to drink by turning the mountains blue on the bottle. Amused easily, I am. But those who are amused easily, are amused often.

    Coors Light = the Mood Ring of beers. 🙂

    Comment by Mickey | April 17, 2009 | Reply

  10. bfm… I just noticed something. “OTC beers”? Are there prescription beers?? More importantly, are they covered by most insurances???

    ::runs off to find that benefit statement from hubby’s office::

    Comment by SeaKat | April 17, 2009 | Reply

  11. I’m a beer snob, so I would amend Mickey’s review to read:

    Coors Light = the Mood Ring Piece of beers. 🙂

    Actually, I’m not that snobby, I just don’t like lagers.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | April 17, 2009 | Reply

  12. Aww, I’m marrying a wine snob so I haven’t had a good ‘shitty beer’ in awhile. College was all about the Natty Light though. I could drink that shit like water. And…now it’s 9 am and I’m craving a beer. Thanks guys.

    Comment by Chelsea - PETA Protector | April 18, 2009 | Reply

  13. Maybe you could drink it like water because that’s what it tasted like.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | April 18, 2009 | Reply

  14. The only beer that doesn’t make me want to throw up in my mouth is Amstel Light.

    Typically, if it doesn’t have a chunk of fruit or an umbrella in it, I don’t drink it.

    Comment by blah | April 18, 2009 | Reply

  15. I also enjoy partaking in the girl drink drunk drinks as well. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you better you tube Kids In The Hall or I will crush your heads.

    Never mind, here it is.

    Comment by cookiebees | April 20, 2009 | Reply


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