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Snakes On A Plane


evilsnake2Seriously, what is with the asshole pythons lately? First we have the 13-foot-jerk try to eat some dude, and now we have a roving gang of baby pythons trying to sneak into first class? This aggression will not stand! The serpentine joy-riders escaped from their assigned seat aboard a Quantas flight, prompting the cancellation of two flights. You know those bastards were trying to find a baby to snack on or something. Mmmm, babies and champagne.

Apparently, the four-pack busted out of their plastic foam box, with air holes, to find some wine, women and song. I would just like to interject something at this time. Stop storing your snakes in places where there are holes! That is how the 13-foot-asshole escaped. A “reptile expert” (which in Australia is a dubious title) searched the plane for the wee pythons, but couldn’t find them. Said the expert, “G’day. Oi, yer, bonza, s’no sneaks* ere, mate!” Quantas, like any responsible airline, fumigated the plane and returned it to service yesterday.

*This isn’t misspelled. Read it aloud, you will sound just like an Aussie.


April 16, 2009 - Posted by | News You May or May Not Use | , , , , ,


  1. Have we learned nothing from Hollywood? Stop putting snakes on planes with passengers!

    Comment by TheHobo | April 16, 2009 | Reply

  2. I can’t believe they fumigated the plane. Stupid humans fuck up and cute little baby eating snakes have to pay the price.

    Comment by Helen Skor | April 17, 2009 | Reply

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