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A Fish Story

I love my tankts-fish1

I have many baby fish right now. Their mothers fulfilled their purpose in life by dying to ensure that their young would live. It’s kind of sad until you really think about what being a female guppy entails. They spend every moment of every hour trying to avoid being raped by their brothers, fathers, and every other random male that happens to live in their world. When they are not being violated, they are sleeping or giving birth. When you look at things that way, being a human female isn’t so bad. So now, I shall raise my glass to my fallen female guppy companions; you were wonderful and I will miss your shiny tails. Now let us all pour a sip on the concrete for our fallen sisters.

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April 13, 2009 - Posted by | Daily Whims | , ,

23 Comments »

  1. As many of you know, I am a baby fish mouth. Having said that, I think it will be clear how close to my gills this tragedy is. I mourn with you, Deimos, for the loss of my sisters. And for their daughters – we wanted something better for them, but until there’s real change in this tank, it doesn’t look hopeful.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  2. When I find myself trapped in the fish tank, (it happens sometimes…) I like to hide in the treasure chest.

    Comment by queencrone | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  3. bfm, as a fellow denizen of the briny blue, I share your pain.

    Rise, my sisters! We have only our scales to lose!!

    Comment by SeaKat | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  4. Let the scales fall from your eyes?

    Comment by Lily the Pink | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  5. I’m with ya! I’m rising….slowly. (afraid of the bends.)

    I’ll grab King Triton’s trident sword. I found it here at the bottom of the treasure chest.

    Comment by queencrone | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  6. QC, be careful that an octopus with Ethel Merman’s voice doesn’t try to steal it from you. She’s vicious.

    Comment by SeaKat | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  7. SeaKat, I’m sure I don’t know why, but she’s scared of me.
    Can you believe it?

    Comment by queencrone | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  8. LOL, QC. She knows you’ll USE that trident to cut a bitch. 🙂

    Comment by SeaKat | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  9. HA! And I’ll take her cigarettes too.

    (they are EXPENSIVE now!)

    Comment by queencrone | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  10. Not a fish question, but a sea creature question nonetheless…if the male seahorse carries the babies, why don’t they just call that one the woman?

    marinate on that for a minute.

    Comment by blah | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  11. blah– I’ve actually had a theory about that one for awhile. It goes like this:

    Biologist #1: Here we see the habitat of the “seahorse”. (Pointing) That one’s the male.

    Biologist #2: Uhh, sir? That one’s carrying the babies. I think it’s female.

    Biologist #1: Uhh, no….The males carry the babies.

    Biologist #2: But–

    Biologist #1: Shut the fuck up Jerry!

    Comment by Chelsea - PETA Protector | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  12. That Jerry. Such a doosh. ::shaking my head::

    BTW — I originally typed “shanking my head” which both funny AND disturbing. It’s distby? Funurbing?

    Comment by SeaKat | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  13. Is it wrong I suddenly want some pecan crusted tilapia?

    Comment by cookiebees | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  14. mmmmmmmm, cookiebees. Good idea.

    I’ll have the mahi mahi.

    Comment by queencrone | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  15. Shall I bring white or red wine? or just a 12 pack?

    Comment by cookiebees | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  16. Suprise me! I’ll bring the cigars. 🙂

    Comment by queencrone | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  17. 12 pack of white wine, plz.

    Comment by SeaKat | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  18. blah and chelsea — HILARIOUS

    Comment by baby fish mouth | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  19. hahaha, this post is exactly why I love you guys.

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | April 14, 2009 | Reply

  20. mmmmm cigars and wine! QC you are my kind of lady!

    Comment by payter | April 14, 2009 | Reply

  21. you know, i saw an invitation to an event a friend of mine was attending the other day… and it said “there will be cigars (for the guys)”

    i wanted to hit somebody. i can’t like cigars??

    Comment by baby fish mouth | April 14, 2009 | Reply

  22. All of us need to go crash that party and bring our own cubans.

    Let’s show them how it’s done!

    Comment by queencrone | April 14, 2009 | Reply

  23. Ok, I’ll go. But if I can’t find a Cuban, can I bring someone from the Dominican Republic? 😉

    Comment by SeaKat | April 14, 2009 | Reply


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