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Thunderdome!

Hot Space Lady Edition

Here at Thunderdome!!!, we pay close attention to your needs, wants, and desires–no matter how shameful they may be. So, in response to the abundance of closeted sci-fi enthusiasts out there, we bring you this week’s THUNDERDOME!!!:

Beverly Crusher vs. Deanna Troi

Two TNG ladies go in; only one comes out

troicrusher-1-1
BEVERLY CRUSHER vs. DEANNA TROI

Starfleet Rank:

Chief Medical Officer vs. Counselor

Crusher jumps out to an early lead with this one. Listen, I’m not implying that it’s easy to be Counselor to a ship full of sexually frustrated, multi-specied people of varying gender makeups with intense personal lives but come on… Dr. Phil is a Counselor. It can’t be that hard. On the other hand, Crusher saves lives. Or at least she does in theory. And if I had to choose, I’d rather be crazy than dead.

On-Starship Romantic Involvements:

Capt. Picard vs. First Officer Riker, et al.
While it seems that Crusher should take this round too, Troi’s got a few tricks up her sleeve. Troi’s love interest may be lower-ranking than Crusher’s, but Troi has covertly stacked the decks. How, you might be asking? By banging Worf! And banging a Klingon means you win every time. Plus, Riker’s hot. Troi absolutely destroys Crusher in this round.

Species:
Human vs. Human-Betazoid
Listen, humans. I don’t mean to insult you, but you’d be a little a LOT cooler if you were part-Betazoid. While Crusher may be an excellent dancer and poker-player, Troi’s alienness means that she is a psychic. This is awesome. It also means that Troi often has aliens invade her body and use her to communicate. This is definitely a cooler party trick than anything Crusher can muster up.

Google results for “Erotic Fan Fiction” search
2,990 vs. 2,700

Apparently Star Trek: TNG geeks have a little more of a boner for Crusher. I can’t decide what this means. Is this a good thing? Or a bad thing? Does that give Crusher an advantage? Or a very creepy disadvantage? At least the numbers are surprisingly low. Maybe that means the only real winner of this round is the human species.

After a gruelling battle, the winner of this week’s THUNDERDOME!!! is Deanna Troi! Her psychic abilities, interstellar promiscuity, and lack of appeal to sci-fi geeks add up to an unbeatable combination. Troi is victorious, and Crusher is to be inserted into a capsule and jettisoned into space.

Any thoughts on next week’s THUNDERDOME!!!? Post them in the comments below!

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March 27, 2009 - Posted by | Thunderdome! | , , ,

34 Comments »

  1. You should have had a “Sexy Times Style” section – Crusher would have won. You know Troi is all about feelings and cuddling, whereas Crusher knows the human body and has access to futuristic machines. Nuff said.

    Comment by HolyChow | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  2. I’m sorry, but there’s no way that Riker can trump Picard. And neither than a Klingon. He’s Jean-LUC!!!! There’s an International Flavors coffee waiter with his name! How does that not win?? (Ok, maybe I’m arguing the other side now, but…)

    Jean-Luc. Jean-Luc. That accent. That shiny head. Rowr.

    Comment by SeaKat | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  3. I agree, SeaKat. Picard has been at the top of my fantasies list for the past 16 years.

    Comment by Skaði | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  4. My new way of solving everything is by searching the amount of “erotic fan fiction” out there. The results are decisive:

    Jean-Luc Picard: 2,250
    William Riker: 3,830
    Worf: 2,530
    Janet: 90,700

    Whoa, shit. I wonder what kind of spam I’m going to get from doing all these searches.

    But I totally respect your love of Picard. Indeed, I kind of share it. Believe me, it wasn’t easy to dismiss him like that. But… Worf! Worf.

    Maybe we need a Picard vs. Riker round?

    Comment by Janet | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  5. Picard’s power makes him more attractive. Riker is definitely the high school football hero type guy. But something makes me feel like, Riker probably smells funny and is a fumbling geek in the sack, very insecure…whereas Picard can hold his own and make you feel like a woman.

    I am officially ashamed of myself for even saying all that.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  6. Also, I bet once you sleep with Troi you’re hers. Errands and emotional talks about where this is going, crying sessions to make you feel guilty.

    Crusher is a single mom. She doesn’t have time for bullshit. I like Crusher better for that, at least.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  7. “But something makes me feel like, Riker probably smells funny and is a fumbling geek in the sack, very insecure…whereas Picard can hold his own and make you feel like a woman.

    I am officially ashamed of myself for even saying all that.”

    Hahahahahaaaaa, spitting coffee on my keyboard, bfm.

    My feelings exactly.

    And yes, I have a soft spot for Worf. But Jean-Luc. Dude, I wouldn’t even have to break my wedding vows. He could just look at me and say, “Make it so”… That would be enough.

    And, yeah, Troi got whiny. She’d be so needy.

    Think of it this way:

    Who would you want to see your best male friend dating? Troi or Crusher? Crusher, right?

    Troi would be all, “But we were going to go antiquing today, honey…” on, like, their 3rd date.

    Whereas Crusher would totally bond with you and if they ever broke up you’d smack him upside the head and remain friends with her.

    Troi? You’d throw a party when they ended it.

    Comment by SeaKat | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  8. Exactly!!

    I can’t get over your “make it so” comment haha – that was great, and yes, spot-on.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  9. I feel so at home here. Picard love are the bonds that tie! Also, I love Dune, and Gurney is so kick ass. That may be the genesis of my crush. Le sigh.

    Comment by HolyChow | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  10. My husband would totally let me fuck Picard if I asked him. 🙂 The attraction for me seemed to stem from the fact that he was an amateur archaeologist. Well, that and the fact that he’s sexy as hell and has that awesome voice. I bought the soundtrack to Nightmare Before Christmas and almost peed myself when I heard his voice. Too bad they couldn’t get him to do the opening and ending tracks on the actual movie.

    Comment by Skaði | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  11. Skathi: This is my favorite Patrick Stewart moment…

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  12. It’s def. the voice for me. And the piercing eyes. And the smooth pate…

    Hell, it’s the whole package.

    I’m going to have to get the soundtrack, Skaði; I didn’t know he did that.

    I never thought I’d be using Tim Burton movie soundtracks as audiorotica…

    Comment by SeaKat | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  13. LOL

    Comment by Skaði | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  14. I don’t think I remember enough details from The Naked Now (worst episode ever!) to make an informed decision.

    Comment by rl | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  15. Janet says:

    My new way of solving everything is by searching the amount of “erotic fan fiction” out there. The results are decisive:

    Jean-Luc Picard: 2,250
    William Riker: 3,830
    Worf: 2,530
    Janet: 90,700

    I think you glossed over what you’ve been doing in your spare time to have built such a masturbatory audience.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  16. Picard has great poise and self-confidence, and his voice certainly doesn’t hurt his sexiness factor. He’s also a polymath, which is always the hotness so, for me, Jean-Luc wins hands down. Although…there was the episode where Riker had the transporter malfunction and there was two of him, so, you know–Riker sandwich.

    P.S. HolyChow: I wanted to name our cat after a Dune character because he has vibrant blue eyes, but someone (who shall remain nameless, but is definitely geekier than me) said I was a geek and wouldn’t have it. That’s OK, I know he’s got the spice.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  17. LOL@voices. That’s going to be my new phrase for a winnah: “I know he’s got the spice.”

    Riker sandwich??? Haaaaaaahahahahahahahaaaaa!!! I don’t know why that strikes me as so funny, but it does. ::Snerck!!::

    Comment by SeaKat | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  18. bfm, that Extras clip was hilarious.

    I’ve seen everything. You know, I’ve seen it all.

    Make it so. Have you seen Star Trek The Next Generation?

    Comment by SeaKat | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  19. I forgot to mention that if we expand this to include all Star Trek series, Jadzia Dax would kick both their asses.

    That is all.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  20. BFM, somehow your comment with the youtube video didn’t post earlier. I swear I don’t remember seeing it before…I’m gonna watch it here in a few minutes when I close my door to pump.

    Anyway, I love you for knowing that ð sounds like ‘th’ (or else remembering my MG handle, which is cool too).

    Comment by Skaði | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  21. Ok, but then what about Seven Of Nine? Maybe not on personality, but on looks? Please. No contest.

    Comment by SeaKat | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  22. Skathi (yes, I’m sucking up now…) I didn’t see the link earlier, either. Maybe her commment had to be approved by moderators b/c of the link?

    Comment by SeaKat | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  23. I remember it from MG 🙂

    My comment did have to be moderated… but that’s OK, it’s never too late for some Extras.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  24. Saw the video, loved it!

    Comment by Skaði | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  25. Oh my….the amount of time as a teenager I spent figuring out sci-fi angels to get me on the Enterprise…

    Even at 14, I liked Picard better than Riker. Sure, Riker had the charm, but in the end, Picard was just…better. Voice, looks, courage, conviction, command…

    That being said, Troi has an empathic advantage–if you haven’t read the books, and specifically, the Peter David books, you would never know this, but Troi can be a projecting empath, which means, what she feels, you feel. And what you feel she feels. And that just leads to this feeling loop of good feelings.

    Which makes her win.

    Even if she wasted said power on Riker. Also? Imzadi is one of the saddest books ever…and totally influenced the series. But Q Squared cracked me up. I wonder if any of those held up over time…

    Comment by TheHobo | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  26. So Troi could MAKE you want her, even if you didn’t really?

    Hmm. Not sure how I feel about that.

    One the one hand, it’s cheating.
    On the other hand, I kind of respect that sort of sly, back-handed maneuver.

    Comment by SeaKat | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  27. I never liked Riker, and like The Hobo, my yearnings for Picard started around 14.

    I do like Troi. I’m a sucker for sexy uniforms combined with empathic abilities.

    Comment by Skaði | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  28. Well, maybe she could make you want her. But more, she could take whatever desire you had for her, add it to whatever desire she had for you, and then send it back to you so that suddenly, you’d want her more.

    Er.

    This seemed simpler when I read about it when I was 14. Or maybe I made it up…

    btw: Stewart clip on Extras: OMFG I cannot stop laughing!

    Comment by TheHobo | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  29. Skaði: Whenever a comment contains a link, it has to be moderated to prevent comment spam. So you’re not crazy. Well, you may be. I’m not qualified to say for sure, but you aren’t crazy in that respect. 🙂

    Comment by Lily the Pink | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  30. Dax FTW

    Comment by WhoMee | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  31. SeaKat: I’m sure it’s just me, but I think Jeri Ryan looks like a frog (In the face). It’s possibly because she has big eyes and a broad, lippy mouth. I’m not saying she’s unattractive. She’s far from it. It’s just I see her and I think “frog.” I am okay with my weirdness. That being said, going completely on looks, I think Terry Farrell is prettier, TMIMO.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | March 28, 2009 | Reply

  32. Also, who wouldn’t kill to have Troi’s big brown eyes?

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | March 28, 2009 | Reply

  33. Dax’s leprosy always threw me off. Just couldn’t look past it. I know, I’m a complexionist.

    Comment by SeaKat | March 28, 2009 | Reply

  34. Random geek aside.
    Dax was the symbiont. Y’all mean the hosts. The symbiont looks like some kind of chicken wing/penis/fish hybrid.

    Comment by rl | March 28, 2009 | Reply


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