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Lowku

Life in 5,7,5

We at Thundersquee! can’t help but be indignant at the inequities of the poetic form when it comes to expressing the more low brow moments in life. So, to help even the field we offer you Lowku. The game and aim are simple. Twice a week we’ll display an image of one of life’s more “WTF?” moments, and your mission is to carefully select words that add up to 17 syllables and string them together in 5,7,5 form in order to describe said image or tell its story.

Each Monday and Wednesday the winners of the previous challenge will be announced and a new image will be posted to ignite the next round of genius.

Here are this round’s winners:


Well, that certainly brought out your inner geek.  In honor of this, I’m co-opting the Hugo Awards today and creating a Lowku category just for you guys.  So, here you are.  The Lowku Hugos go to:

Best Outing of Her Inner Geek: baby fish mouth

In:

Best moment today
Realizing I’m not sure
Who they’re dressed up as

Out:

No, fake Ewan, fake
Stewart. You cannot be to-
morrow’s Daily Bale.

Did anyone else notice how she pin-pointed which Star Wars character he was by his rat tail?


Best Dick Joke (because I like the idea of there being a Hugo Award for that): Chris Jones

The mother is proud,
his ’sabre reaches the ground
but he’ll ne’er use it


Most of the (wonderful) pedantic geekiness seemed to surround the “Red Shirt” concept, but one closet geek snuck in and showed them all up before the sci-fi melee even began.

Best Eye for Anachronisms: HolyChow

Next Gen Uniform,
On DS9 character?
Epic Fail, grandma.


But, when all was said and done, one tricksie hobbit got the ring to Mordor/Blew up the Death Star/Defeated the Borg/out geeked a geek who knows what “Midichlorians” are (and can probably hold forth about them at length).

Top of the Geek Class: TheHobo

The truth is out there
Turns out that ThunderSquee peeps
Are all sci-fi geeks.

RL:
Grandma has one pip
Therefore a low officer
at the very least

But TOS or
TNG, all sources say
Red shirts still die first.

And way more often
Than any other color.
I’ll keep my geek cred.

The scary thought is
I don’t think she knows
Which show she is from–

But I still think that
Her sagging breasts break Starfleet
Bra regulation.



Congrats to all and thanks for that.  They were all wonderful and enjoyable.  Here’s today’s fodder.

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March 25, 2009 - Posted by | Lowku | ,

68 Comments »

  1. thank you thank you!! great job everyone.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  2. even as a child
    melanie griffith knew that
    she was different

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  3. This adds new levels
    of meaning to the “shallow
    end of the gene pool.”

    Comment by shu_shu | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  4. Damn, I’m rude. And congrats to this week’s winners!!!

    Comment by shu_shu | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  5. I won the geek crown. Um. Yay? Fuck it.

    YAY!!!!!!!!!

    Shu-shu, we like rude. When it’s aimed at someone else, that is 😛

    Comment by TheHobo | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  6. I used to be a
    Forty-year-old male banker;
    I took the green pill.

    (Girl in the back)
    I thought it would be
    Nice to have a sister, but
    I miss my dad now.

    Comment by TheHobo | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  7. finally there’s proof
    that regardless of health risks
    smoking makes you thin.

    Comment by rl | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  8. Way to go, Lowku winners!

    This week has started off swimmingly!

    Comment by SeaKat | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  9. with something to prove
    heather stared her mother down
    kiddie pool my ass

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  10. Haha! Although I have to ask how you picked the name Heather?

    Comment by shu_shu | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  11. she actually reminds me of a girl i used to know named heather… which is a compliment to my friend, she was always ahead of the game with makeup and smoking. i was jealous. 🙂

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  12. I figured it was probably something like that. Whenever I name people in my lowkus, I typically draw on real-life inspiration. Somehow, its SOOO much funnier to me!!!

    Also, I had a friend like that. Her name was Billye. But she ended up in prison for making methamphetamines. Good times.

    Comment by shu_shu | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  13. My friend like that was named Brandy. She was a fine girl. I’m not sure what happened to her, but I’m sure she became a good wife.

    Comment by SeaKat | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  14. SeaKat: I think she may have gotten jilted by a sailor.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  15. I think shu_shu’s paragraph needs to be rephrased as an entry:

    shu_shu says:

    Also, I had a friend like that. Her name was Billye. But she ended up in prison for making methamphetamines. Good times.

    Her name was billye
    she’s in prison for making
    methamphetamines

    it so nearly fit!

    Comment by rl | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  16. (girl in foreground)
    In this neighborhood
    we cut strangers with candy
    and sometimes drown ’em

    (girl in background)
    Candy? I’ll trade you!
    Her for some gum that tastes like
    a three-course meal; deal?

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | March 25, 2009 | Reply

  17. This is clearly proof
    That smoking makes you stay thin.
    The other is fat!

    Comment by Chris Jones | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  18. ah dammit, I didn’t refresh, apologies to rl who already wrote essentially the same lowku as my previous one.

    Comment by Chris Jones | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  19. As you can see sir
    I am mature for my age.
    Fifty bucks to fuck?

    Comment by Chris Jones | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  20. A precocious tart
    will seem cool when she’s just 10.
    Check back when she’s old.

    Comment by Chris Jones | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  21. Our future we see.
    It stares back at us and says
    “What’s your problem, man?”

    Comment by Chris Jones | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  22. Eat me, Joe Camel,
    You ain’t got nothing on me,
    I’m too cool for school!

    Comment by Chris Jones | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  23. Let’s get down to it.
    I’ll sell you my chubby friend.
    Pack of smokes do it?

    Comment by Chris Jones | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  24. Just takin’ a break.
    Then back to making our film.
    Yeah, I do porn too.

    Comment by Chris Jones | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  25. I wish to complain.
    I think lily is making
    us look at child porn.

    Comment by Chris Jones | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  26. Is anyone else
    finding it quite disturbing
    how butch her arms are?

    Comment by Chris Jones | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  27. Things were just different
    After the wizard left Oz –
    Debauched Munchkin rule.

    Comment by HolyChow | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  28. oh my god, every single one of those was gold, chris jones.

    seakat i loved your brandy joke. i’ve had the song in my head since i read that comment last night.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  29. LOL@bfm. That song sticks for sure. Her name really WAS Brandy and even at the age of 9, I’d get that damn song in my head around her.

    Comment by SeaKat | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  30. Ha! Oh, Rl…why didn’t I think of that!?!?!?! Well played!

    Comment by shu_shu | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  31. HolyChow–way to bring in munchkins!

    Comment by TheHobo | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  32. My cigarette break
    Is always too short. Oh well,
    Bring on the gator.

    Comment by TheHobo | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  33. They are not young girls.
    It’s just the effects of the
    methamphetamines.

    Smoking is just a
    way for her to show her friend
    she’s that much cooler.

    Methamphetamines-
    When you still aren’t thin, hex with,
    “Die, Skinny Bitch. DIE.”

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  34. that’s as good as it gets. I’ve had a sick kid all week, and now I think I’m getting his crap. Foggy head…such a classic picture, too! hahaha!

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  35. CJ – when I was 7 I had arms even more “butch” than that. It was from swimming, water-skiing, and rope-swinging. Now I look more like the girl in the back.

    Comment by Helen Skor | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  36. Life imitates art.
    Art imitates la Lohan.
    Methamphetamines.

    Comment by Helen Skor | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  37. I want this picture, blown up to about 5 feet wide, so that I can hang it over my couch. It’s so trashtastic.

    Comment by Helen Skor | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  38. Helen, I had the EXACT same thought.

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  39. She looks a little
    Steven Tyler-esque. To me,
    In my opinion.

    Comment by shu_shu | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  40. Conversation Art
    at its best. I changed my mind;
    Child Services.

    (I had another southern syllables issue with “child”…I went with two, although I’m pretty sure I say it in one.)

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  41. it probably IS S.Tyler, shu.

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  42. AdAd, and that’s Liv in the background??

    I’m so MEAN today. The devil, he is plumping pillows and laying out the welcome mat for me.

    Comment by SeaKat | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  43. No, Child services
    is not where she is going,
    it’s what she’s SELLING.

    Comment by BunchOfFives | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  44. Girl in pool:

    Billye! Billye! Stop!
    You KNOW Mama said not to smoke.
    It will stunt your growth.

    Girl in bikini:

    In my chosen career
    It’s good to be 3 feet tall.
    They call it “fetish.”

    Girl in back:
    Oh. Well what if you
    are 4 feet in circumfr’nce?
    Is that “fetish” too?

    Girl in bikini
    Stubs out cigarette and shrugs.
    “Sure, it takes all kinds.”

    Comment by SeaKat | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  45. Oh. Hell. How did I end up w/!my syllables all fucked up? Apparently, I suck at counting!! LOL

    Ok, trying again!!

    Girl in pool:

    Billye! Billye! Stop!
    Mama said you shouldn’t smoke.
    It will stunt your growth.

    Girl in bikini:

    In my future job
    It’s good to be 3 feet tall.
    They call it “fetish.”

    Girl in back:
    Oh. Well what if you
    are 4 feet in circumfr’nce?
    Is that “fetish” too?

    Girl in bikini
    Stubs out cigarette and shrugs.
    “Sure, it takes all kinds.”

    Comment by SeaKat | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  46. SeaKat, I want you.

    Comment by WhoMee | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  47. LOL. Who knew the way to WhoMee’s heart was haiku?

    That sounds Seussical, doesn’t it? 🙂

    Comment by SeaKat | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  48. in the far reaches
    of the internets, true love’s
    seed hath thus been sown

    Comment by DonnaMartin | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  49. or in other words
    “bow chicka bow wow chicka
    chicka chicka yeah!”

    Comment by DonnaMartin | March 26, 2009 | Reply

  50. Way things are going,
    They’ve got the right idea.
    See you in the pool.

    Comment by Cord | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  51. I gave her my cig
    so she wouldn’t notice that
    I peed in the pool.

    For real, that girl in the back has a guilty face!

    Comment by HolyChow | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  52. Cord??? CORD??!!????

    IS IT REALLY YOU??? I’ve been hurt before… I am not so trusting anymore. Prove it’s really you!!!!

    POP Quiz:

    You admire:

    A) Thundersquee’s Banner Pic
    B) Our Tenacity
    C) STM’s Miss Sixty Cords

    Comment by SeaKat | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  53. I’m with SeaKat. Pop quiz dammit.

    Women:
    A. Poop
    B. Don’t Poop

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  54. hahahhaaaaa @ bfm.

    Pop Quiz:

    What kidney did you give your dad?

    A) The right
    B) The left
    C) A kidney-shaped pool. Blogging used to be very lucrative.

    Comment by SeaKat | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  55. Like my performance in math classes, all Bs.

    Comment by Cord | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  56. I have got the biggest smile right now. Nice to “see” you, Cord!

    Comment by Skaði | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  57. Well I’ll be damn.

    ::single tear::

    It feels like we’re a family again!

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  58. Hi Cord, good to see you, even if it feels weird seeing your comments without a pink background. 🙂

    Comment by Lily the Pink | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  59. OMG. I thought that you were pulling our leg!!!

    Grab your pimp cups, we’re gonna part-ay!

    Comment by SeaKat | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  60. My pimp cup runneth over!

    Comment by Janet | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  61. we have a celebrity in our midst!

    it’s beer thirty, and this one’s for cord!

    Comment by stopthemadness | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  62. “pimp cups.” i can’t find my pimp cup. ok, who stole my pimp cup? and who moved my cheese?

    Comment by stopthemadness | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  63. stm: ye, pimp cup worksh mighty fine to hold thish wine i paired with yo cheese. business.

    Comment by Lily the Pink | March 27, 2009 | Reply

  64. Cord at Thundersquee?
    Delighted by his presence,
    Hags do happy dance!

    Comment by BunchOfFives | March 28, 2009 | Reply

  65. I can’t believe I missed it. so sad. *sniff* It’s so awesome though, because you KNOW Cord misses us now.

    Comment by AdmittedlyAddicted | March 30, 2009 | Reply

  66. Okay, someone needs to post a “Hags of old” story so the newbs can catch up.

    Did I just say newbs? I feel like a troll now…

    Oh God! My posting vernacular is so old! Somebody say something hip, quick!

    Comment by TheHobo | March 30, 2009 | Reply

  67. acetabulum

    Comment by SeaKat | March 30, 2009 | Reply

  68. SeaKat, that comment just made me laugh so hard that I woke up my dog who has now decided, at 1AM that she immediately needs to be taken outside. DAMN YOU!

    Comment by Helen Skor | March 31, 2009 | Reply


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