uncollectedminds

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Thunderverse!

With swollen tongues and bloody brains we bound into the verbal melee.

thunderverseIt must be confessed that we hate many things and delight in banishing them to the outer-reaches of our fiefdom. To this end, each Friday we will purge something from the Thunderverse! and relegate it to our own metaphorical Devil’s Island. So, in the interest of kicking things when they are down, we are giving you the opportunity to piss on their graves, Lutfi-style, and let it all hang out–poetically speaking.

Bring us your best (or passable) sonnet, couplet, limerick or ode. Show your sass with some free association or beat poetry. Capitalize for emphasis à la Emily or pull an e.e. and don’t punctuate at all. Bid a fond farewell or immolate the bastards where they stand–the choice is up to you. All that we ask is for you to bare your soul and a pound a flesh. Clarification: we are asking for the flesh, not for you to bare the pound of flesh. We aren’t perverts. What do you get in return? Some eKudos in the form of a “Winnar!” preceding the next Thunderverse!


This weeks WINNAR! is rl, who had me at the word pooper. Huzzah and a preventative slap. Don’t get too big for your britches!

if sodomy’s against god’s will, and phelps here is his trooper
how come such fine upstanding folk will take it in the pooper?

i’d rather attend a leather bar, with me there as the feature
than have this twisted hateful gent, call himself my preacher.


We also have an honorable mention for DonnaMartin, whose skillful invocation of the Rosie style helped us face the Rosie in all of us.

i am 2 real
and 2 powerful
2 feel such anguish and hunger

i walk these lonely streets
a donut in one hand
but my finger’s on the trigger

these crocs hurt my feet
i feel the street through the pain
it is not in vain
that i maintain
that i am 1 with da earth
sad yet filled with mirth

i am rosie
but i am more than rosie
but also less than rosie 2

i am from the east
and not from the west

what would you do next
if i were to suggest
that we shop at 9 west?


tv-bugaboo-11Up for banishment this week: Oversized strollers. The hummers for the spawning yuppie set, these bad boys hog sidewalks, clutter public transport and are used as weapons in stores. What the hell, we’ll throw in the disgusting parents who are too busy “validating” their precious bundles to stop them from pissing on your floor. Take your jute bag and shove it! My only wish is that, before they’re banished, Maclaren and Bugaboo would get together and release a super, souped-up stroller with hydraulics and a chilled cup holder just out of their price range. Run them over, Squeers!

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March 20, 2009 - Posted by | Thunderverse! | ,

16 Comments »

  1. Request for next week: can you put each winner and honorable mention’s post on this article, instead of linking? I have no patience to go to multiple places. Over and out!

    Comment by Chronically Constipated | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  2. We can do it right damn now, if you want us to! That’s how much we like you.

    Comment by Lily the Pink | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  3. See?

    Comment by Lily the Pink | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  4. As long as we are making requests – Lily get me a ponycorn!!

    Comment by Lisa(#1) | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  5. Lisa (#1): It is done. You’ll probably want to go home early.

    Comment by Lily the Pink | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  6. Ya done good, Lily. Real good.

    Could you bring me a double decker taco?

    Comment by Chronically Constipated | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  7. OK, give me a sec. I’ve got to gather some mana. That ponycorn took a lot out of me.

    Comment by Lily the Pink | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  8. nerds!

    Comment by stopthemadness | March 21, 2009 | Reply

  9. patience is a virtue!

    and also a song by guns n roses.

    Comment by DonnaMartin | March 21, 2009 | Reply

  10. I’m thinking nursery rhymes might be best for this, but now I’m afraid of sounding like Andrew Dice Clay.

    Hrm, what rhymes with self-centered assholes with a sense of entitlement?

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | March 21, 2009 | Reply

  11. OK, free verse

    his parents are better than me because
    his stroller cost more than my first car did
    yes, please teach him the world is his diaper
    the world definitely needs more assholes
    i now reserve the right to kick his ass
    in eighteen years, of course, but his butt’s mine

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | March 22, 2009 | Reply

  12. Sorry, I won’t get out of your way.
    I’m more important that you.
    Why should I give you the time of day?
    I’m more important than you.
    The world is mine; I’ll consume all there is.
    I’m more important than you.
    I’ll teach my baby the sidewalk is his.
    Because he’s more important, too.
    We don’t care that we cause you strife.
    We’re more important than you.
    Don’t you tell ME to get a life.
    I’m more important than you.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | March 22, 2009 | Reply

  13. hahahaha

    awesome

    Comment by DonnaMartin | March 22, 2009 | Reply

  14. VERY nice, Voices.

    (PS – The sidewalk footprint of my Graco stroller is a responsible, respectable “half-square”)

    Comment by SeaKat | March 22, 2009 | Reply

  15. 
    hopefully his mother
            and
            dad
          were on
         the death
         star when
          it blew
            our
            new
    hope depends on this
    

    Comment by somenerd | March 23, 2009 | Reply

  16. HA! Loves it!

    Comment by shu_shu | March 23, 2009 | Reply


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