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Random Drunk Emission

ts-almondjoyAlmond Joy Edition

Do any of you people eat Almond Joys? Anyone? I’ve asked everybody this question and everybody says “no,” so that makes me question why they’re still on sale. I can say I’ve never tasted one. They might taste like the walls of heaven but I wouldn’t know because for some odd reason I can’t bring myself to eat something called “Almond Joy.”

Sometimes I think I’m odd.


March 19, 2009 - Posted by | Random Drunk Emissions | ,


  1. I don’t think I’ve ever had one either.

    Comment by rumour has it | March 19, 2009 | Reply

  2. I LOOOOOoooovvvve them. I can’t swear to this, but I *may* be responsible for 80-85% of all purchases in the Pacific NW.

    Comment by SeaKat | March 19, 2009 | Reply

  3. They’re amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing!!!!! Now I want one or fifteen!!!

    Comment by Chronically Constipated | March 19, 2009 | Reply

  4. I’ve had them and all I can say is that I don’t know where they find almonds that big. They are like genetically engineered almonds. I don’t like nuts but Almond Joys do have a really nice unique flavor.

    You are such a champion for nut rights, Deimos. I like to think I will benefit from that one day.

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 19, 2009 | Reply

  5. I loooove Almond Joy. Now if you want a candy with no reason to exist, may I suggest Good & Plenty? I’ve been pissed off at them since 1st grade. They look all cute and pink and white, and then you eat one only to find they’re filled with hate, the death of kittens and all things soulless. Some cruel bastards came up with Good & Plenty, that’s all I’m saying.

    Comment by oneofthevoicesinmyhead | March 19, 2009 | Reply

  6. I’ve had Almond Joy from the import chocolate shop. (you guys have some great stuff!!)
    I liked the Almond Joy, but they always seem to get a bit squished on their journey here.

    Also, I tried Jujyfruits ‘cos I saw ’em on Seinfeld and they were nasty!

    Comment by BunchOfFives | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  7. I’ve always thought that the first thing I would do if I visited the US is go to the supermarket/grocery store.

    And then some Taco Bell!

    Comment by BunchOfFives | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  8. TACO BELLLLLLLLLLL!!!! Get a double decker taco supreme… you will not be disappointed.

    Good & Plenty can be tossed into the fires of Hell. I’m with you on that one.

    Comment by Chronically Constipated | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  9. Also, when you said they were “on sale,” I was wondering how I missed this global discount on Almond Joys! It took me about 3 times reading this to figure out you just meant that they were being sold. Now I’m let down… what a way to start a Friday. CURSES!!!

    Comment by Chronically Constipated | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  10. Mmmmm. Almond Joys AND Mounds. For when you’re feeling less nutty. I love that there are two little bars. Same reason I like Twix and Kit Kats (god I haven’t had a candy bar in so long!).

    Am I alone on the Good and Plenty bandwagon? I love black licorice. Except for the salted Norweigan kind. Black jelly beans! Yay!

    Comment by HolyChow | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  11. GAG!

    Comment by Chronically Constipated | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  12. Holy Cow, Holy Chow!!! No, you are not alone. I’m not such a fan of the G&P, but I will plunge my fingers into every available bag of jelly beans to retrieve every last deliciously dark bean. I will eat them until my mouth is numb and my teeth turn grey.

    Comment by shu_shu | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  13. Blech. Black licorice is pretty awful. They put it in that throat coat tea though — which totally works but tastes like, uh, black licorice.

    I do have to credit Almond Joy and Mounds for inspiring my best eulogy ever. When my fish Rover died in college, I flushed him with the following speech: “Sometimes you feel like you’re dead. Sometimes you are.”

    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  14. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TA3c1YqCiI

    Comment by WhoMee | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  15. HolyChow and Shu I am so on the good n plenty/black jelly bean band wagon with you! I could actually eat every single Jelly bean in the bag (no matter what color) if challenged. Actually I don’t even have to be challenged…I love and hate Easter time sooooo much.

    Comment by payter | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  16. I love black licorice!! And red twizzlers. But Red Vines can suck it. Hard. Fricking counterfeit Twizzler Mofos.

    (Has anyone had the gourmet black licorice?? So good. I can’t stop myself from eating the whole bag. And them I’m in a world of hurt, b/c black licorice has rather interesting effects on the digestive system. It’s worth it though. Truth.)

    Comment by SeaKat | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  17. I went to the store for ground beef and left with a bag of Nibs. The licorice talk got me. They were red though. Still yummy. Candy is my vice.

    Comment by payter | March 20, 2009 | Reply


    Comment by baby fish mouth | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  19. Technically, but it was only supposed to show up that color when the author was posting, so…back to the code!

    Comment by Lily the Pink | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  20. I also like black licorice but I always thought that was because I was strange.

    Comment by Deimos | March 21, 2009 | Reply

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