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Reality TV Recap

Hell’s Kitchen Edition

hells_kitchen_logoSo am I the only one watching this show religiously? Anyone? Bueller?

Anyway, Lacey gets on my last nerve. She’s constantly complaining and weaseling her way out of the hard work, and while she did pull it together a little in the most recent episode, I still want to smack her in the face. Oh, and Let’s not forget about Mr. “Mr. J talks in the third person because Mr. J thinks Mr. J is just that cool” J.  Seriously, it’s not cool; it just screams “stupid ass”.

At any rate, creepy ” I would bear your children if only I had the necessary equipment to do so” Seth went home in the last episode. For those of who haven’t been watching and don’t know how creepy Seth is,  he’s basically Gordon Ramsey’s Biggest Fan.  He knows practically everything there is to know about Gordon, probably including his underwear size.  Seriously, he’s bad enough that Ramsey asks him to keep his distance.  This might seem like reason enough to get him off the show, but ultimately it was his decision to wipe down cooking pans ( you know, the ones he cooks super expensive meals in) with his sweat/snot cloth that caused him to go down in flames.

At this point, I’d say either Danny-the-Southern-Loud-Mouth or Andre-the-Silent-Kitchen-Killer will take the game.

What are your thoughts?


February 28, 2009 Posted by | Culture Critic | , | Leave a comment

Daily Bale

Morgan Free-Bale


February 28, 2009 Posted by | Daily Bale | , | 12 Comments

What the Crap!?

Change “can” to “should” and add a question mark, please.


Do you think? Huh…I mean..uhhh…well, hmm…that’s just…just…um.  I think it broke my brain….yet, I want one…

February 27, 2009 Posted by | Found on the Internet, What the Crap!? | , , | 8 Comments


Analyze This

This week’s installment of GOOPing is neatly timed. Only yesterday, Gwyneth took to the fine pages of People to defend her beloved newsletter against the critics. She believes the antipathy toward her oeuvre results from the fact that people just don’t “get” it. We’re afraid because she’s doing something new and different. She’s challenging our ways of seeing people, and the world. She’s forcing us to think outside the box.

Gwyneth, you’re right. You’ve reached deep into the recesses of my psyche, and figured out the source of my dislike for you. Now, let me return the favor. In this week’s GOOPing, I’m going to dissect Miss Paltrow’s advice to get a glimpse into her soul.

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February 27, 2009 Posted by | GOOPing | , , , | 13 Comments

Kitchen Bitchin’

dayquil_largeHack cough sniffle blech

Seasons are mercurial in the southeast – one morning you could wake up to blazing heat…and then need the heater on the next morning.

So the Kitchen Bitch finds herself with a nasty cold and a bruised voice that makes her sound like Kathleen Turner Overdrive.

I’m coughing up things that would make Linda Blair wince.


The easiest thing to make when sick is also the most cliched – chicken noodle soup.  It’s reasonably healthy, it’s tremendously comforting, and it doesn’t require that much more work than opening a can of salty condensed soup.  Here’s an easy recipe that you can make in 30 minutes.

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February 27, 2009 Posted by | Kitchen Bitchin' | , , | 5 Comments

A Few Good Vacuums

And they say there are no good men out there.

I found one, ladies. A 29-year-old Michigan man, with so much love to give that he sometimes expresses it in odd places. Very odd places. Like, carwash vacuum kind of odd.


Jason Leroy Savage may have a court date for indecent exposure, and probably some unresolved medical issues, but he’s clearly also got a big heart. Get in line, ladies. This one’s a keeper.

February 27, 2009 Posted by | News You May or May Not Use | , , , | 2 Comments

Daily Bale

Daniel Bale Kim


February 27, 2009 Posted by | Daily Bale | , | 9 Comments

Angry Black Lady Chronicles

HMOs Make My Head Explode

ts-hmo1If there are two things that you, dear readers, know about Angry Black Lady, it’s that she’s Angry and she’s Black.

Well, here’s a fun fact you might not know.  Angry Black Lady has a brain tumor.  It’s actually not a brain tumor, but it is a tumor, and it’s in my head, and let’s face it– Angry Black Lady gets more sympathy mileage when she says brain tumor.  Pituitary tumor, or, for the medically-inclined, microprolactinoma, just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

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February 27, 2009 Posted by | Angry Black Lady Chronicles | , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Random Drunk Emissions

Why Men Need Women


We nurture them when they feel insecure. We are their strength when they can’t carry on. They like to feel like they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders but at the end of the day it’s their women to whom they confide their deepest fears. We embrace them despite their faults, and hold them up when they are close to falling. A woman will take her man’s pain and add it to her personal heartache just so he doesn’t have to bear it alone.

For all of our bitching and complaining we hold a lot on our shoulders. So ladies, when you’re not feeling like you’re good enough or strong enough, just think of the pain you’ve shouldered for your friends or lovers and hold your head up high. We know the meaning of compassion and often embody the term.

February 26, 2009 Posted by | Random Drunk Emissions | , , , | 7 Comments

Who Would You Rather?

Time Lord Edition


Who doesn’t love a man with powers of regeneration?  If you don’t like the current incarnation just wait, or if you’re the impatient sort you can always hit him with something.  Not that I advocate violence.  So, the question is…

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February 26, 2009 Posted by | Who Would You Rather? | , | 8 Comments